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Eating

Hi I could really do with some advice please.

Since starting college again I'm finding that I am struggling with eating in public, I think it's because I cough a lot so i'm anxious about this and also just eating in general outside of my house.

Does anyone know what causes this? My parent says "I need to be careful in case it progresses/gets worse" but I don't really know what that means?

Can someone offer advice please please

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Your parents are worried that this might develop into something like an eating disorder
Original post by Anonymous
Your parents are worried that this might develop into something like an eating disorder

But I am eating that's the thing, just not at college :redface:
Original post by Guardians0111
But I am eating that's the thing, just not at college :redface:

Not to worry you or anything but not all eating disorders are about stopping eating, sometimes it can be literally the idea of eating for example infront of people or the way one eats
I don't like eating with other people either. I feel like I get judged and it makes me annoyed. I think they mean you should try not to let it get worse or you can't really eat anymore, and that's a problem, so maybe talk to someone who can kinda like change your perspective if it goes too far
Original post by Anonymous
Not to worry you or anything but not all eating disorders are about stopping eating, sometimes it can be literally the idea of eating for example infront of people or the way one eats

It is daunting to eat in front of others and it doesn't help with covid as soon as cough everyone moves away :frown:

Original post by *****deadness
I don't like eating with other people either. I feel like I get judged and it makes me annoyed. I think they mean you should try not to let it get worse or you can't really eat anymore, and that's a problem, so maybe talk to someone who can kinda like change your perspective if it goes too far

I don't really know if anyone can change my perspective thats the issue, it's just a violent cycle for me
Original post by Guardians0111
It is daunting to eat in front of others and it doesn't help with covid as soon as cough everyone moves away :frown:


I don't really know if anyone can change my perspective thats the issue, it's just a violent cycle for me

If you're still eating fine then it's not something to urgently worry about, but if you need to, I think there are people who are experienced enough to understand and give good advice
Original post by Guardians0111
It is daunting to eat in front of others and it doesn't help with covid as soon as cough everyone moves away :frown:


I don't really know if anyone can change my perspective thats the issue, it's just a violent cycle for me

I know how you feel, see i have OCD and i struggle with simple things like eating as well to do with my intrusive thoughts. For example I went through a phase last lockdown where i cleared my throat loudly every 5 minuets exactly cos i was worried i might loose my voice
Original post by *****deadness
If you're still eating fine then it's not something to urgently worry about, but if you need to, I think there are people who are experienced enough to understand and give good advice

I wouldn't say I'm eating fine that's the thing, I have breakfast in the morning then the next thing is at 6 in the evening ;/

I just don't know what to do, is there people on TSR who can help?
Original post by Guardians0111
I wouldn't say I'm eating fine that's the thing, I have breakfast in the morning then the next thing is at 6 in the evening ;/

I just don't know what to do, is there people on TSR who can help?

Possibly, but I'm sure at some places there is more help available than a student forum
Then you need to try and challenge yourself, what's the worst that can happen if someone outside your house sees you eat? How can you manage any difficult emotions that come about?
Original post by Anonymous
I know how you feel, see i have OCD and i struggle with simple things like eating as well to do with my intrusive thoughts. For example I went through a phase last lockdown where i cleared my throat loudly every 5 minuets exactly cos i was worried i might loose my voice


sorry it was so hard for you in lockdown with having to clear your throat constantly, how are you finding the second lockdown? Has it eased?
Original post by Guardians0111
sorry it was so hard for you in lockdown with having to clear your throat constantly, how are you finding the second lockdown? Has it eased?

Well tbh the second lockdown doesnt really feel much like a lockdown due to still going to school but yes thankyou, the coughing is long gone and hopefully wont come back!😂
Original post by Pathway
Then you need to try and challenge yourself, what's the worst that can happen if someone outside your house sees you eat? How can you manage any difficult emotions that come about?

I'm trying and I don't know what the worst can happen it's just scary. It's just so easy to skip too as nobody is really saying to eat, apart from one person/friend who treats me like a kid as they pick at my food and are like "just eat it" which I find degrading?

Could this be an eating disorder? :redface:
Original post by Guardians0111
I'm trying and I don't know what the worst can happen it's just scary. It's just so easy to skip too as nobody is really saying to eat, apart from one person/friend who treats me like a kid as they pick at my food and are like "just eat it" which I find degrading?

Could this be an eating disorder? :redface:

It could escalate into an ED if you don't nip it in the bud and you have the right set of circumstances, and coming from a person with an ED you want to run far, far away in the other direction. They ruin lives. And the thing is, nothing will happen if you eat in front of others (save for some person might make a comment, but try not to worry about that, people say stupid **** all the time you can't avoid everything!). People genuinely don't care enough to remember these sorts of things about a person. It's a big deal to you because you're player one in your mind, but you're not the protagonist in theirs. Challenge yourself and sit with the difficult feelings it might produce and continue to do so until you don't have to think about it because you've proven to yourself that it doesn't matter, that it's not scary - because it isn't.
(edited 3 years ago)
Reply 15
Avatar for Surnia
Surnia
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Original post by Guardians0111
I wouldn't say I'm eating fine that's the thing, I have breakfast in the morning then the next thing is at 6 in the evening ;/

I just don't know what to do, is there people on TSR who can help?

If you are cutting down to 2 meals a day to avoid eating g in public, that is serious as you may not get enough nutritionfrom those 2 meals to sustain you. We're you doing it before coronavirus or only since the pandemic started?

Have you seen your GP about the cough? Or spoken with a pharmacist about any kind of cough suppressed? I suggest you do the latter and explain why the cough is causing you so much anxiety. If you can resolve one problem, it may resolve the other. In the meantime,, tey not to bother about abyone else and eat at lunchtime. No symptoms doesn't mean other people don't have coronavirus and there's other illnesses people can pass on through poorhygience or contact so don't think that you are the only one.
Original post by Pathway
It could escalate into an ED if you don't nip it in the bud and you have the right set of circumstances, and coming from a person with an ED you want to run far, far away in the other direction. They ruin lives. And the thing is, nothing will happen if you eat in front of others (save for some person might make a comment, but try not to worry about that, people say stupid **** all the time you can't avoid everything!). People genuinely don't care enough to remember these sorts of things about a person. It's a big deal to you because you're player one in your mind, but you're not the protagonist in theirs. Challenge yourself and sit with the difficult feelings it might produce and continue to do so until you don't have to think about it because you've proven to yourself that it doesn't matter, that it's not scary - because it isn't.

I have tried to eat in front of everyone at lunchtime but I end up just stuffing it into my bag and it seems too much and then it goes into the bin :redface: I'm trying to challenge these thoughts but they're constant and when I don't eat I end up feeling lightheaded and dizzy which isn't the nicest.

Original post by Surnia
If you are cutting down to 2 meals a day to avoid eating g in public, that is serious as you may not get enough nutritionfrom those 2 meals to sustain you. We're you doing it before coronavirus or only since the pandemic started?

Have you seen your GP about the cough? Or spoken with a pharmacist about any kind of cough suppressed? I suggest you do the latter and explain why the cough is causing you so much anxiety. If you can resolve one problem, it may resolve the other. In the meantime,, tey not to bother about abyone else and eat at lunchtime. No symptoms doesn't mean other people don't have coronavirus and there's other illnesses people can pass on through poorhygience or contact so don't think that you are the only one.

I've always had this love-hate relationship with food when in public really, when I was in secondary school I would miss both breakfast and lunch and just eat at dinner time by giving my food to other people. But now with the cough and the worry of people saying if it's covid judging it's just made it x10 worse.

Yes I have specialists looking into this as I have issues with my trachea :// I just don't know what to do to manage the eating?
Original post by Guardians0111
Hi I could really do with some advice please.

Since starting college again I'm finding that I am struggling with eating in public, I think it's because I cough a lot so i'm anxious about this and also just eating in general outside of my house.

Does anyone know what causes this? My parent says "I need to be careful in case it progresses/gets worse" but I don't really know what that means?

Can someone offer advice please please

maybe talking to a close friend/friends about your thoughts could help, because they could eat with you so you feel less like the attention is all on you? and i know it is easy to say, but really no one is that interested in other people eating.
maybe talk to a counsellor or a member of staff at college too to help overcome and disprove your negative thoughts and feelings
Original post by Guardians0111
I've always had this love-hate relationship with food when in public really, when I was in secondary school I would miss both breakfast and lunch and just eat at dinner time by giving my food to other people. But now with the cough and the worry of people saying if it's covid judging it's just made it x10 worse.

Yes I have specialists looking into this as I have issues with my trachea :// I just don't know what to do to manage the eating?


It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety wrapped up in this and, as your parents say the longer it goes unchecked, it can get worse and soread into other aspects -either of your life or of your eating.
Therapy is one way to help you address it but there are things you can do yourself to help.
As above mentioned-talking to a friend about it and have take the pressure off.
Or try different types of foods-soups/soft food that’s less likely to make you cough etc.
Another important thing is to try and be more aware of what it is you’re feeling when you’re sitting there.
Are you worrying about people watching, are you worrying about swallowing, is it the food itself... the more aware you are of what the issue is, the easier it can be to try to overcome.
But I would suggest suggest talking to some support in college or through your GP.
I have always disliked eating in public too but I just thought that was just how I am, I didn't see it as a problem. For me I think it's because eating is such a pleasure activity that I'm embarrassed with people seeing me "pleasuring" myself. I have even eaten in public/uni/work toilets before because of this, which is kind of nasty I suppose.

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