The Student Room Group

Is she ghosting me?

So, I have texting with this girl for a while and she seems like she was interested in me. We already dated before although it was more than a while ago. We were in touch pretty much every day and she would text first 8/10. She said she wanted to date long-term and stuff.

Last weekend, she posted on her private story that she was thinking about getting back to her ex. I texted that she should go for it and then she said that she would think about that. After that, she takes hours to reply and we have not talked in 4-5 days. Yesterday I thus asked if everything was ok or if I was boring or something and she said that no, we were fine and she would not text me otherwise if she thought so.

However, is she actually ghosting me? Shall I move on?
Original post by Anonymous
she was thinking about getting back to her ex. I texted that she should go for it


????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

why would anyone say this to someone you want to date
Reply 2
Original post by HoldThisL
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

why would anyone say this to someone you want to date

Because if she was considering getting back to ex, then there's no point. I wanted to see her reaction as her private story did not make any sense just after we had a great 2h convo.
by giving her your blessing to get back together with her ex, you basically said:

"I'm not interested in you. Go back to your ex - I don't care because I don't like you in that way"..

What you're both doing here is playing games.

It's possible she posted that post about her ex just to see your reaction. It's kind of twisted to play this game of saying she likes someone else just to see your reaction, and I don't know for sure if that's what happened, but it's possible.

Then you played a game by saying "fine go to your ex" which is funny if she never intended to do that. Maybe she wanted you to say "what?!?! I thought we were a thing!" but because you didn't say that, she got upset and figured you didn't like her in that way.

The only way to sort this out is to lose the games and approach her honestly and say you only said she should get back to her ex coz you were upset that she'd even post that after you thought something was maybe starting between you. Hopefully she'll respond to your honesty with honesty too. Hopefully!
Reply 4
Original post by HoldThisL
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

why would anyone say this to someone you want to date

Actually, I jut realised you may be right. Never mind, my bad.
Original post by Anonymous
So, I have texting with this girl for a while and she seems like she was interested in me. We already dated before although it was more than a while ago. We were in touch pretty much every day and she would text first 8/10. She said she wanted to date long-term and stuff.

Last weekend, she posted on her private story that she was thinking about getting back to her ex. I texted that she should go for it and then she said that she would think about that. After that, she takes hours to reply and we have not talked in 4-5 days. Yesterday I thus asked if everything was ok or if I was boring or something and she said that no, we were fine and she would not text me otherwise if she thought so.

However, is she actually ghosting me? Shall I move on?

HOLDDD UPPP, so shes said she wants to date you long term but now said on her private story she wants to get back with her ex?? shes messed she needs to sort out whats she wants to do because shes literally stringing you along in the nicest way possible. shes giving you hope but then saying she wants her ex? tbh if shes acting as if shes not interested move on shes not worth it lmao. good lcik :0
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
by giving her your blessing to get back together with her ex, you basically said:

"I'm not interested in you. Go back to your ex - I don't care because I don't like you in that way"..

What you're both doing here is playing games.

It's possible she posted that post about her ex just to see your reaction. It's kind of twisted to play this game of saying she likes someone else just to see your reaction, and I don't know for sure if that's what happened, but it's possible.

Then you played a game by saying "fine go to your ex" which is funny if she never intended to do that. Maybe she wanted you to say "what?!?! I thought we were a thing!" but because you didn't say that, she got upset and figured you didn't like her in that way.

The only way to sort this out is to lose the games and approach her honestly and say you only said she should get back to her ex coz you were upset that she'd even post that after you thought something was maybe starting between you. Hopefully she'll respond to your honesty with honesty too. Hopefully!

You are probably right. Idk why I am so dumb with this stuff. Thanks for the suggestion. I actually asker her if she wanted to meet up after lockdown but she is going to be in Tier 3 so it is not possible.

Ngl I am not sure I am actually going to get a reply. Either way, don't you think it is too late to write anything at all at this point?
Reply 7
Original post by Ruqaiyahhhh_
HOLDDD UPPP, so shes said she wants to date you long term but now said on her private story she wants to get back with her ex?? shes messed she needs to sort out whats she wants to do because shes literally stringing you along in the nicest way possible. shes giving you hope but then saying she wants her ex? tbh if shes acting as if shes not interested move on shes not worth it lmao. good lcik :0

Yeah, that's exactly what I thought when I replied to her. I hate this kind of stuff, I think everything is already complicated enough, paying games is the last think I want to do. Thanks for the reply.
Original post by Anonymous
Because if she was considering getting back to ex, then there's no point. I wanted to see her reaction as her private story did not make any sense just after we had a great 2h convo.


given both what she said via the story and you said in response, you have both demonstrated great ability in poor social skills
Reply 9
Original post by HoldThisL
given both what she said via the story and you said in response, you have both demonstrated great ability in poor social skills

You right aha, unfortunately.
I thought you said you guys dated so is it possible that the ex she’s referring to is you and she’s waiting for you to say something more bout it? Like make the first move or all her outright if she thinks there’s anything’s between you two
Original post by charlieday1
I thought you said you guys dated so is it possible that the ex she’s referring to is you and she’s waiting for you to say something more bout it? Like make the first move or all her outright if she thinks there’s anything’s between you two

Well, I would definetly exclude that the person she was talking to was me for a number of very good reasons. However, since this was almost a week ago, would you say it does actually make sense to make re-elaborate what I have said? I feel it's too late.
Original post by Anonymous
You are probably right. Idk why I am so dumb with this stuff. Thanks for the suggestion. I actually asker her if she wanted to meet up after lockdown but she is going to be in Tier 3 so it is not possible.

Ngl I am not sure I am actually going to get a reply. Either way, don't you think it is too late to write anything at all at this point?

4-5 days or even a week is not too late if you want to be on good terms again. Definitely not too late. If it were like a month without either of you trying to patch things up then ok, maybe that's a little late, but a week? you can patch this up still - if you want to :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
4-5 days or even a week is not too late if you want to be on good terms again. Definitely not too late. If it were like a month without either of you trying to patch things up then ok, maybe that's a little late, but a week? you can patch this up still - if you want to :smile:

Right. That makes sense, thank you. I'll give it a try.
Original post by Anonymous
4-5 days or even a week is not too late if you want to be on good terms again. Definitely not too late. If it were like a month without either of you trying to patch things up then ok, maybe that's a little late, but a week? you can patch this up still - if you want to :smile:

I have sent the text, I said that I did not actually mean that and I was just being caught off-guard. I just realised how stupid that reply was. She has still not open it although she is online, idk when she will. At least, I tried. Thank you again.
Original post by Anonymous
I have sent the text, I said that I did not actually mean that and I was just being caught off-guard. I just realised how stupid that reply was. She has still not open it although she is online, idk when she will. At least, I tried. Thank you again.

At least this way you'll have no regrets for not trying to sort things out.
Fingers crossed it'll all work out alright. Good luck!
Original post by Anonymous
At least this way you'll have no regrets for not trying to sort things out.
Fingers crossed it'll all work out alright. Good luck!

Thank You! :smile:

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