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Geography alevel- aqa- 9 mark and 20 mark structure questions

Hi!! So I do geography alevel and it’s not my favourite (mostly due to the way it’s taught) so I know there will be alevel students who enjoy it. Content wise I’m fine but I keep getting 4-5 for 9 markers and 9-10 for 20 markers. I want to get 7-8 for 9 markers and 15-16 for 20 markers but I think what I’m terrible on is essay structures as my other subjects are bio and chemistry so I don’t have good practice and preparation. The thing is (I plan on asking her anyway) I have a classmate who only writes one page for 9 markers and 2 pages for 20markers and always gets almost full marks! This seems really impossible for me. My teacher does say that I move from the focus of the question a lot but I don’t get it. I’m in year 13 and what I’ve figured for both of 9 markers and 20 markers is that:

Intro-give The definition for the keyword in the question. Introduce case study with some facts and that’s it!!
What’s worse is seeing that I feel like I write too little so I write lots and my teacher says I don’t need to. My teacher says to Just pick a few points for 9 markers and develop the point and refer to the question but I don’t really get it
Hello.

Your teacher is right. Tell me more however. I would like to assist you in any way possible.
This is an essay I recently I did and I got a C which I believe is 8-10 marks (I’m not sure maybe I’m being generous) and I’ve written all that I could and far too much!! Can you please help?
Copy of Geo essay.pdf31.8KB
Also In my intro, do I need to put lots of facts for the case study? I believe I put way too much and my conclusion is stupidly long
Original post by SparkleFace
This is an essay I recently I did and I got a C which I believe is 8-10 marks (I’m not sure maybe I’m being generous) and I’ve written all that I could and far too much!! Can you please help?

Don't just outright mention "I have studied", implement it seamlessly within the essay.
Question states evaluate but you're listing the points without giving your own input on its effectiveness.
You need to be critical and give your opinion throughout as to why it's a good/bad strategy.
The answer seems as though you're regurgitating out a case study rather than picking out facts to answer the question.

I've attached a good response which I came across last year, hope it helps
Geography.png
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by SparkleFace
Also In my intro, do I need to put lots of facts for the case study? I believe I put way too much and my conclusion is stupidly long

Your intro should act like a funnel explaining the key concepts the question is asking for and briefly defining the key terms if necessary. I would definitely try to stick to the question at all times! On the other hand the conclusion should be brief on what you believe was the best management/response strategy etc
Original post by SparkleFace
This is an essay I recently I did and I got a C which I believe is 8-10 marks (I’m not sure maybe I’m being generous) and I’ve written all that I could and far too much!! Can you please help?

Not that I consistently get more than 13/14 on my 20 markers, (so not the most qualified to give advice!) but it appears that you’ve regurgitated all the knowledge you have about the case study rather than analysing it and doing any evaluation - it could definitely be a lot more focused specifically to the question

We also get told that a 20 marker should be 2 sides of A4 (handwritten) max , I think so it stays on topic :smile:
Original post by laurawatt
Not that I consistently get more than 13/14 on my 20 markers, (so not the most qualified to give advice!) but it appears that you’ve regurgitated all the knowledge you have about the case study rather than analysing it and doing any evaluation - it could definitely be a lot more focused specifically to the question

We also get told that a 20 marker should be 2 sides of A4 (handwritten) max , I think so it stays on topic :smile:

At least you get 13-14 minimum! Thank you though! That will be my target. A full page for a 9 marker and 2 sides of a page for a 20 marker.
Original post by AstaYunoo
Don't just outright mention "I have studied", implement it seamlessly within the essay.
Question states evaluate but you're listing the points without giving your own input on its effectiveness.
You need to be critical and give your opinion throughout as to why it's a good/bad strategy.
The answer seems as though you're regurgitating out a case study rather than picking out facts to answer the question.

I've attached a good response which I came across last year, hope it helps
Geography.png

Thank you! The thing is when I do evaluate and start to relate my point to my question, I write way way way too much! I don’t know how much is enough
Original post by SparkleFace
Thank you! The thing is when I do evaluate and start to relate my point to my question, I write way way way too much! I don’t know how much is enough

I've always used to do 3-4 pages for 20 markers :s-smilie:
I do Edexcel rather than aqa but I hope my advice still helps. The key word in the question is evaluate so you want to weigh up the pros and cons of your points (in this case the pros and cons of primary and secondary management and responses). And you want to come to a decision of which is more effective- never sit on the fence! Your paragraphs seem very descriptive and you need more phrases like ‘this is significant/ insignificant because...’ or ‘this response was effective/ ineffective because...’ using a lot of obvious evaluative language helps sign post to the marker that your getting those AO2 marks. Hope this makes sense and helps!
Original post by AstaYunoo
I've always used to do 3-4 pages for 20 markers :s-smilie:

I can totally relate :redface: it feels terrible when my teacher crosses out all the paragraphs I didn’t need haha
Original post by bleh_bleh
I do Edexcel rather than aqa but I hope my advice still helps. The key word in the question is evaluate so you want to weigh up the pros and cons of your points (in this case the pros and cons of primary and secondary management and responses). And you want to come to a decision of which is more effective- never sit on the fence! Your paragraphs seem very descriptive and you need more phrases like ‘this is significant/ insignificant because...’ or ‘this response was effective/ ineffective because...’ using a lot of obvious evaluative language helps sign post to the marker that your getting those AO2 marks. Hope this makes sense and helps!

Thank you! I definitely will use more phrases like these!
Original post by SparkleFace
I can totally relate :redface: it feels terrible when my teacher crosses out all the paragraphs I didn’t need haha

Yes that's why i reiterate the point to be synoptic and critical. Each paragraph should draw on links and go back to answering the question towards the end with sufficient evidence to back it up. :smile:
Original post by AstaYunoo
Yes that's why i reiterate the point to be synoptic and critical. Each paragraph should draw on links and go back to answering the question towards the end with sufficient evidence to back it up. :smile:

Thank you, I think I’m getting it. So what I keep needing to do is NOT be descriptive and give out points. When I give out a point, I should talk about it and say what it resulted in and whether it was effective or not effective and for example ‘there is an alternative point that I believe is more effective which is....’ but then I talk about why People will disagree with me.

But if I do this, the part about ‘why people would disagree with me’ I just talk about what’s negative about my second point, right?
Also in the 20 markers, have a look at the general markscheme to see what they want, e.g. an awareness of size, time and scale (like was the response the seismic event very localised, did it garner international attention, how quickly it made an impact/ responded immediately, and then years later etc
Just see what they want you to add tbh, and also look at the command word: to what extent, assess, evaluate (they all have slightly different meanings!)
I also get confused because we get taught big case studies like typhoon haiyan and then we have small facts like tamborra and wah wah springs so do I just use the big case study if the question asks for it or do I use both that and facts?

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