Breakup? Share your story (read first)

Hi guys,

Hope you’re all doing well and keeping safe. I am in a situation where I don’t know what to think or do anymore. I have began a relationship back in September with my current boyfriend. It’s my first real relationship and I’ve known him since July. We’re both the same age and everything is going “alright” but I don’t feel like the relationship is exactly for me.

Don’t get me wrong at first everything felt right, but right now it doesn’t as much. Due to the current lockdown we have not met much and because I am sometimes busy with uni work and my part Time job he doesn’t want me to stress too much. We usually text each other and we keep in touch where we can.

But I don’t want to lie about how I feel. I don’t like to be dishonest especially in this relationship, as we promised to be as honest as possible. I don’t want to hurt him or make him feel like he is the problem, but I don’t think I can change this feeling right now. I don’t know exactly what to tell him but I know that I want to see him face to face.

P.S: I have, out of nowhere, met someone I used to like before but had no contact for a year or so. I was in the bus and I saw him walking. I believe he never had any social media before, but strangely few days later his name appeared on my social and I added him. I dont know but it brought a lot of mixed feelings and I felt guilty for feeling that way. I just want to clear them first I guess or just not hurt someone in the process

Hi guys,

Hope you’re all doing well and keeping safe. I am in a situation where I don’t know what to think or do anymore. I have began a relationship back in September with my current boyfriend. It’s my first real relationship and I’ve known him since July. We’re both the same age and everything is going “alright” but I don’t feel like the relationship is exactly for me.

Don’t get me wrong at first everything felt right, but right now it doesn’t as much. Due to the current lockdown we have not met much and because I am sometimes busy with uni work and my part Time job he doesn’t want me to stress too much. We usually text each other and we keep in touch where we can.

But I don’t want to lie about how I feel. I don’t like to be dishonest especially in this relationship, as we promised to be as honest as possible. I don’t want to hurt him or make him feel like he is the problem, but I don’t think I can change this feeling right now. I don’t know exactly what to tell him but I know that I want to see him face to face.

P.S: I have, out of nowhere, met someone I used to like before but had no contact for a year or so. I was in the bus and I saw him walking. I believe he never had any social media before, but strangely few days later his name appeared on my social and I added him. I dont know but it brought a lot of mixed feelings and I felt guilty for feeling that way. I just want to clear them first I guess or just not hurt someone in the process

Hey, I just want to say, I was in the same boat in may and ended breaking up with my boyfriend as I was no longer attracted to him. I had drifted apart from him during and before I modem as I knew he wanted to go further in our relationship.
From personal experience, being honest is key. I would tell them how you feel and try to work something out.
Also, don’t put all of your eggs in one basket, get to know your old friend and see what happens

Hello there,
Hope you are well.
I’m sorry to hear of your current situation and let me tell you from a person who has just ended their relationship of six months.

Every relationship has a “honeymoon” period it’s where everything is new and sunshine and rainbows. They appear charming and everything you want in life, and eventually you start to become comfortable.
Let me share with you: my ex partner started getting “too comfortable” very quickly and it didn’t take long for me to feel I was no longer a priority. As soon as I stated to feel unhappy, that’s when I knew I had to end it.
Lockdown is a difficult situation to be in, because it puts a halt on everything.
The difference being is, can you see yourself and your boyfriend growing a stronger bond once lockdown is over? Or will the stress of your work and your job only increase. You need to look out for you, first.

I suggest you tell him how you feel or if you still have hope that he is what you want, suggest maybe a break to you get yourself back on track.

I felt heartbroken telling my partner I couldn’t be in a relationship anymore, because it simply wasn’t making me happy. Yes, it hurt me and it deeply hurt him too, but at least I can say to myself I was being honest to him and myself.

Hope all goes well

Thanks so much for this. I agree with the honeymoon phase of the relationship, in this case it faded really quickly. It’s my first real relationship and not sure but I might have misjudged it. Like I find him really cute and sweet but not sure if we’re actually meant for each other. I am not sure if the reasons I went with him were actually good reasons. I found my worth and confidence and taught I deserve good things and I felt that having a boyfriend was actually good. But having a boyfriend is not enough there’s so much more to a relationship of course, but I don’t seem to be that into it with him.

I plan to meet him face to face and explain the situation to him. But now more people have come to learn that we’re in a relationship which makes it even more difficult for me. But yes I guess a break would suit us because there is a lot of things that I am trying to understand and I just want us to be stronger or at least to be in good terms

Seriously I would not feel sad as this is very common. I know from experience. You will be fine eventually. Good luck. Find a new hobby now it will be a useful distraction technique too.

Honestly if you added that other guy, there’s a part of you that wants to explore that and that’s not a bad thing. The best thing is just to explain to your bf how you feel and then just see what happens. If you aren’t feeling it now then it’ll probably just get worse as the fir few months are meant to be the ‘honeymoon phase’