Struggling to get a girlfriend

As the title says I'm struggling to get a girlfriend. I'm 29 but I'm a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend. I have a good job and a few friends. I've tried all the usual ways such as going to pubs, bars and nightclubs and also online dating and tinder but had no success apart from a few girls who are single mums and I do not want to date single mums. The girls that I asked out rejected me. My attention has turned away from pulling and trying to get a one night stand and instead finding a life partner. I would like to get married and have children at some point in the future. Has anyone got any advice on what I should do to get a girlfriend?

Reply 1

Surnia

Are you the one who wants a girlfriend who is a virgin and you think girls at your church are unattractive?

If not, I'll find that poster as they are in exactly the same situation; you could compare notes.

Reply 2

Anonymous370

Exactly same situation here OP :frown:

, 24 virgin guy here, it sucks so much still being single...

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Surnia

No I'm not religious and don't go to church.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous370

Exactly same situation here OP :frown:

, 24 virgin guy here, it sucks so much still being single...

I know how it feels.

Reply 5

Anonymous370

Original post by Anonymous

I know how it feels.

Life feels so lonely and sucks like this.., :frown:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous370

Life feels so lonely and sucks like this.., :frown:

Hopefully our luck will change and at some point we will find a partner.

Reply 7

Anonymous370

Original post by Anonymous

Hopefully our luck will change and at some point we will find a partner.

Yeah, I really really really wish for the best of the both of us mate :frown:

, otherwise we're totally screwed up for life as singles. But what exactly are we actually MEANT to do to get to a gf sorted ? That's what I'm not getting at. Like you mean how you already tried out so much, pbut still failed, so then now what? Like I mean a gf isn't just gonna fall from the sky into your room/Flat without you doing something for it, right?

Reply 8

Zarek

Try some hobbies that might bring you in contact with like minded women. See if any of your friends have friends that are looking for romance. Practice your flirting, flirt widely, get advice from more successful mates.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Well how many girls have you asked out cause probability is on your side if you keep trying it will eventually work(as long as you don't come off as creepy)

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous370

Yeah, I really really really wish for the best of the both of us mate :frown:

Yeah I don't want to be single all my life and as I said I would like to be married with children in the future. I can only think that over time I will meet more girls and have as greater chance of meeting a girl who is attracted to me who I like.

Reply 11

Anonymous370

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, same here mate.
Okay, then how do we just meet more girls as you say then ? :confused:

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

I have a few hobbies and I hope that I get in contact with more women this way. All my mates friends are in relationships. I just worry that as I haven't been successful in the last 13 years I will continue to have no success in the future and then reach 40 and be in the same situation.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous370

Yeah, same here mate.
Okay, then how do we just meet more girls as you say then ? :confused:

I don't really know either which is why I made this thread. I will continue swipping on tinder, using online dating, go out with my mates to bars and pubs when lockdown is over and travel for leisure and see if I meet girls there.

If I don't meet anyone before 40 I will give up.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Well how many girls have you asked out cause probability is on your side if you keep trying it will eventually work(as long as you don't come off as creepy)

I've asked out 10 girls this year and got rejected each time.

Reply 15

Zarek

Original post by Anonymous

Yep, understand. I do believe with that with tenacity things will work out. It’s good to find environments where you can make an impact and judge interest before asking someone out. It hits morale asking lots of people out if they’re not up for it. Realistically too there will women one always find attractive and women who’s attractiveness is also a feature of how they feel about you and compromises to be found.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I've asked out 10 girls this year and got rejected each time.

I think you should hang in there 10 should not make you give up. Another thing to consider would be what your approach is to ask them out. Do you have any friends that are girls? Do you feel comfortable around them....

Reply 17

Dunnig Kruger

Original post by Anonymous

I've asked out 10 girls this year and got rejected each time.

That is a pathetic amount.

If I were single I'd be aiming to initiate contact with at least 10 women per day.
From a combination of online and real life. Real life including everywhere I went outside of work. With a particular focus on social events and friends of friends - like female friends of all the wives and girlfriends of your male friends. As well as having and making female friends that are already in a relationship and meeting their friends.

That's the quantity.

Then there's the quality. And by that I mean what you do and say when you meet and initially get to know women.
This is an area that would take a book or a series of videos to cover properly. There are a few youtubers with free content that should help you a lot in this area. As well as plenty of videos with poor to mediocre advice.

One little tip is that you spending time with someone you've just met is no big deal at all. So don't make it one. If you spend any time with someone in a different place to where you've met, you've taken them on a date.

Reply 18

LoneRanger2020

I'm mid 30s and never had a girlfriend until late on at Uni. It sucked spending my early adulthood without any affection from a girl I really fancied, especially in my 20s. I guess I also got a pretty jaded view of girls from college - many of them mocked more introverted guys like me, and some seemed to have more boyfriends a year than hot meals. I hadn't even gone through the basics. I started Uni expecting nothing romantically from girls after that. I was always looking for that special connection. I did finally have an encounter late on in Uni when I was 24, but I was desperate to turn that encounter into a relationship, whereas she just ended confessing to me that she was a player. Online dating has always sucked for me. The ratio of men to women online is insane - it's too hard to stand out as anyone worth a damn over the other 100 guys she is messaging that day.I've gone back to Uni in recent years and done courses with some of the older students but rightly or wrongly considered girls there to be out my league, and been consequently too uncomfortable to make any moves on them. I also experience overly intense inner passion for ones I really fancy which compounds my lack of approach.OP I'm with you about the single mothers. Many deserve another chance, but it's not fair that inexperienced guys who have little baggage or none should be railroaded into pairing up with them as an only option. I am currently going out with a girl I know through a friend, though in the friend zone.Best of luck.