Feeling lost and confused

Ok so I'm hoping to get some advice, clarification or just opinions on ways I could deal with my situation right now.

Basically, due to many factors, I've been only now able to go to University, at the age of 21. All the past years I was trying to get my qualifications for entering the University with different career prospects, as initially my aim was to get into the healthcare field, so being a nurse/midwife. But then, due to teachers and friends and family telling me whether I would be able to work in such a field and pointing my strengths and weaknesses, plus my own experience and want to fill the gaps, I decided to switch to psychology.

However, now, once I'm in a very good University after so many years actually studying psychology, I just don't seem interested. It's not even the fact that I didn't know what to expect as previously I had done a full online course in psychology which is very similar to what I'm doing now, but I just don't seem to enjoy it. I don't know what it is, whether it's due to everything being online, plus I haven't left my house ever really and not much socialising or "fun" so to say. Also, now I'm doubting whether this degree will really be useful for me at all, as with psychology it is a bit hard, unless you have a clear set goal and I don't even know what I want to do anymore. I find it all so boring, but this is not my usual stance on education. I actually really enjoy academia and writings, only in the last year or so, I don't know if these are signs of any mental health issue, but I just can't seem to know what to do or want to do anything. I've been meaning to get a job as well, but I can't seem myself to do it. I dont know what it is. Im so lost as to what to do in life, what's the meaning of life. All I want to do is just be in an island with all the basic necessities and not do anything or just not even have a life, like I don't see the point.
Also, I feel so much anxiety and literally want to throw up when I have been assigned to do activities that involve other people or just coursework that is too heavy.

So yeah, that was my rant. Any responses would be very much appreciated!

One thing for sure is to get professional help - it could be a mental health issue.

As for what you want to study - there's no point in studying psychology if you do not enjoy it. If you want to be a nurse/midwife - a great career option - then go down that route and don't let people get you down and make you doubt yourself. I'd say try out different courses and seeing what you enjoy doing, but make it something that can allow you to pay the bills (I suggest Shane Hummus' videos for some guidance, but don't take what I/other people say as gospel - you might go into a degree that isn't recommended and turn out to be very successful!).

There's no shame in deciding to take a break from school and trying to figure things out - try getting a job and building up your experience. Unfortunately, a major part of life is going to have to go out of your comfort zone and interact with others - it is part of what allows people to get new opportunities and to further explore what they want to do with their lives.

Hi, I just read through all of this and I'm genuinely sorry you're feeling this way at the moment! I don't know how much help I'll be but I didn't want to read this and not reply so ...

With your uni situation, maybe you could do some more research in how psychology could lead you back into the healthcare field as that's something you aspired to do before? (although I'm sure your friends and family may just want the best for you, sometimes you need to listen to yourself - sorry that sounds so cheesy lol but it's true! the people closest to us don't always know us better than we know ourselves. plus you're still young, it's definitely not too late to start a new course in the healthcare field or go down a different route with psychology)

It does sound a little like you haven't been feeling yourself since being at uni, like lack of motivation and things, which 1, in the middle of a global pandemic is totally normal, and 2, isn't an impossible problem that you can't solve! I completely get the issue with anxiety in group coursework and also the social side of things, I can't say I have a full-proof solution but as I have the same thing maybe you could try some of my coping mechanisms for it? I tend to listen to music a lot, like its a serious habit lol I have tons of different music genre playlists that I randomly go through depending on my mood, I just find it helps with like releasing stress and you can kind of lose yourself enough to relax. I also doodle (nothing fancy just filling pages w random drawings can be calming), and I think you said something about being interested in academia and writings, you can literally google articles, watch videos and listen to podcasts about anything these days - it's super easy to find whatever topic you're interested in and it helps keep me motivated to like keep working hard if that makes sense? All these are just little things I do to keep me sane tbh, just makes life it bit more bearable lol

Anyways just wanted to reach out bc as I said I've been dealing with like anxiety and depressive episodes for ages now and ik it can be pretty lonely, hope you find something that helps within my rambling!

Tbh the foremost reason I've been hesitant from getting professional helps is I don't think they are of much help, isn't therapy essentially just someone who listens to you kinda thing? Plus the huge waiting lists and so on, but yes, makes sense.

That is exactly my problem. I don't know if psychology is for me or not. Some topics I really enjoy, but I just find some of the lectures do boring, which I can deal with, it's just that I don't that have that passion anymore that I used to for psychology which is why I chose it. I thought about changing course, but I'm not really sure whether even nursing/midwifery would be good for me. And right now I don't have many opportunities for gaining experience.

Also, I feel like I'm so late in my life already, like I'm 21 and in first year with no substantial experience or anything and if I sort of leave now, I'm worried it might make everything worse.

Thank you so much, it means a lot to me.

Tbh right now I'm at a stage where I don't know whether anything would be good for me. Like I haven't really had much experience in the healthcare field either, it just was there, but I don't know if changing course would make my situation any better or worse.

I will definitely try that and find some hobbies/activities to do. Is there any specific genre/type of music that helps you release stress?

Do you think these are symptoms of depression then? I really don't know how to feel, sometimes I don't even understand myself how I'm feeling and it all gets very confusing.
I hope it's better for you!

Hey! Sorry for taking so long to reply, hope you've had a good week!

With your course, I can understand experience can be an issue, perhaps doing some research for online courses you can join or people within the healthcare field that you can talk to virtually before making big decisions about dropping or starting a new course? That might help with giving you some direction for like your academic future - I wish I could be more specific and give you all the answers lol but unfortunately, idk loads about the healthcare field and also it's not something that's impossible for you to figure out with the proper resources.

Best of luck finding some hobbies to help your stress! And I pretty much try every genre of music I come across and it low key does depend on your mood. For me when I'm angry/ stressed, rock-rap so like Linkin Park, 5SOS vibes are good to like release angry energy, however, I'm fully aware this isn't for everyone, it's like a very loud type of music lol. But most of the time, the Chilled RnB and Neo-Soul x RnB playlists on Spotify are my go-to, oh and any Frank Ocean, Daniel Caesar, Arin Ray songs really calm me down if I have an anxiety attack or anything. But overall I'd just suggest finding whatever works for you then make those playlists easily accessible on whatever music app you use (literally mine are like named 'stressed' or 'deep breath') because if you're already mentally exhausted you don't want to be spending forever looking for music to calm you down.

I'm definitely not a professional, and I know that it's not healthy to self-diagnose because you can like trick yourself into having some negative mindset and blaming all your feelings on a mental health disorder - but, it does sound like you have been struggling to deal with changes for a while. Which is 100% normal! What you're experiencing could be symptoms of depression, but I can't make that judgment and I wouldn't advise you making that judgement either. I haven't sought professional help purely because I don't want to, but I haven't diagnosed myself, even though I know my mental state could do with some help, I've just tried to work on myself so I can be the best functioning human being possible! Reaching out to people can be hard work but sometimes really worth it, I talk to friends my age who are going through the same thing, as opposed to my family because I don't want them to worry - but again up to you. I also write a lot of my feelings down when I get confused (just in like locked notes on my phone) because sometimes explaining yourself to others can be difficult - you could give that a try.

Let me know if you vibe with any of my music suggestions haha, and also if you're doing ok