Dad might be on the spectrum

We've suspected dad is on the spectrum since a few years ago. He talks non-stop and essentially has verbal diarrhoea. Very forgetful e.g. forgets to turn the stove off a lot, and is always overly urgent about everything. The more he talks, the more excited he gets and it gets incredibly overbearing.

He refuses to go to the doctors for diagnosis or help because he doesn't believe he is on the spectrum.

He's very clingy and more so since lockdown - I try going on walks with him to give him another outlet so he's not as overbearing at home, but he talks-non stop. I can't fit a word in edgeways and if I do, he doesn't listen and carries on talking - usually about himself...most things he talks about leads back to how good he is at something. He's quite narcissistic. I admit he's clever, but there's no need to brag about it so often.

I've stopped walking with him because his voice starts drilling into my head. Mum refuses to walk with him because of how much he talks.

The problem is that if I distance myself from him to give me a break, he talks to my mum even more, which frustrates her so much that she snaps at him and they break out into arguement. Dad then goes self-pity mode and asks me if I actually 'like my family' and starts moping around and (most likely unintentionally) guilt tripping us which makes us distance from him even more.

So in conclusion no matter what I do he'll be clingly and overbearing - any advice would be apprectiated.

Hi, that sounds like a frustrating situation to be in, especially if your dad refuses to go to the Dr. I would either sit your parents down together or just your mum and mention how its all making you feel, you shouldn't have to shoulder the responsibility for your dad just because your mum gets short tempered with him.

I appreciate that you are doing all you can but it seems that they don't realise the impact its having on you, hopefully once you make that clear they will do something to help and it might even push your dad into getting a diagnosis which would then take some pressure off you all..

Sorry not much advice, I hope it gets sorted soon!

I'm afriad it's not because mum is short tempered - she's dealt with him for years on end and only stayed with dad for me and my sibling - she didn't want to impact our studies. Thank you for the advice!

He's not autistic. He's old.

Hi, ah okay that makes sense, are your siblings older or younger then you? Maybe you could speak to them and take it in turns to go for a walk with your dad so you both get some piece and quiet at least a few times a week? Hope it settles down soon!

Sadly enough sibling is older at uni - she's coming back from uni but since lockdown she's refused to go on walks with dad...thanks for the advice! I know this is a helpless situation but tbh I just needed to get it off my chest. No one else knows what he's like - you have to live or work with him for at least a few years to know what it's like (he's very mild in nature when it comes to new people or strangers). Again, thanks for your time