Little sister whispering on the phone in the bathroom?

Original post by Anonymous

Concerned about my little sisters behaviour, she’s 12/13 yrs old and is always on the phone to some boy.

She sometimes goes in the bathroom and then I get suspicious cause she’s in there a long time so I go and lean against the door and I can hear her whispering on the phone to him but I can’t hear what they’re saying exactly as they’re whispering so quietly.

Then whenever I knock and ask what she’s doing she says nothing and that she’s on the toilet.

I’m concerned she’s secretly doing sexual things/nudes on FaceTime or Snapchat.

It's almost like she doesn't want her sister intruding on her privacy, baffling.

Reply 3

GabiAbi84

Why would your mind jump to sexual things/nudes??
Do you have anything to suggest that is the case?

Reply 4

OP

Original post by JustOneMoreThing

It's almost like she doesn't want her sister intruding on her privacy, baffling.

if you think it’s acceptable for a child to lock herself in the bathroom on the phone to a boy then something is wrong with you, especially in this generation where nudes are seen as what popular people do and trendy. Why go to the bathroom, lock the door and be whispering when she can jus talk normally in her room without anyone listening or close her bedroom door.

Reply 5

Original post by Anonymous

Concerned about my little sisters behaviour, she’s 12/13 yrs old and is always on the phone to some boy.

She sometimes goes in the bathroom and then I get suspicious cause she’s in there a long time so I go and lean against the door and I can hear her whispering on the phone to him but I can’t hear what they’re saying exactly as they’re whispering so quietly.

Then whenever I knock and ask what she’s doing she says nothing and that she’s on the toilet.

I’m concerned she’s secretly doing sexual things/nudes on FaceTime or Snapchat.

i wouldn't normally advise this, but considering her age, i think you should: make sure your phone has a lot of battery. hide it in the bathroom somewhere + start recording a voice memo. then when she leaves, discreetly retrieve it and listen to the recording

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 6

Foxehh

12/13? Do you not know how old your own sister is? :rofl:

Reply 7

GabiAbi84

Original post by Anonymous

if you think it’s acceptable for a child to lock herself in the bathroom on the phone to a boy then something is wrong with you, especially in this generation where nudes are seen as what popular people do and trendy. Why go to the bathroom, lock the door and be whispering when she can jus talk normally in her room without anyone listening or close her bedroom door.

I’d most definitely lock the door and whisper if I was talking to my first ever boyfriend-and if the only door that had a lock was the bathroom then I’d for sure use that.
If you are that concerned bring it up with your parents.

Reply 8

OP

Original post by GabiAbi84

Why would your mind jump to sexual things/nudes??
Do you have anything to suggest that is the case?

Nothing to suggest it but I jus jumped to that conclusion from my experience, I’m a boy a few years older than her and I have girls in my school sending me topless pictures when they’re in the bathroom so makes me wonder if that’s what she’s doing. Just confused why she needs to lock herself in the bathroom and whisper to a boy on the phone when she could just be in her room and talk normally to him

Reply 9

mflach

12

i think just leave her alone. if you haven’t got a good enough relationship for her to not feel comfortable talking to people around you, then maybe there’s something wrong with that. you have to trust her to not make any stupid decisions, and if she does, one of the best ways to grow is to learn from your mistake. also, sometimes u don’t want everything you do to be known by your family. just trust her

Reply 10

OP

Original post by LovelyMrFox

12/13? Do you not know how old your own sister is? :rofl:

She’s 12 turning 13 soon

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Ciel.

i wouldn't normally advise this, but considering her age, i think you should: make sure your phone has a lot of battery. hide it in the bathroom somewhere + start recording a voice memo. then when she leaves, discreetly retrieve it and listen to the recording

Are you joking or being serious lmao. What if it turns out she in doing sexual things? Would make OP a bit of a voyeur. She is a teenager and maybe she wants privacy and feels like she’ll be heard if she speaks at a normal volume

Reply 12

Foxehh

Original post by mflach

i think just leave her alone. if you haven’t got a good enough relationship for her to not feel comfortable talking to people around you, then maybe there’s something wrong with that. you have to trust her to not make any stupid decisions, and if she does, one of the best ways to grow is to learn from your mistake. also, sometimes u don’t want everything you do to be known by your family. just trust her

Kids do not deserve full trust not to make stupid decisions, that is why parents and adults in their life are their to guide them. I was a dumbarse at 12 years old, most are.

Reply 13

Original post by Anonymous

Are you joking or being serious lmao. What if it turns out she in doing sexual things? Would make OP a bit of a voyeur. She is a teenager and maybe she wants privacy and feels like she’ll be heard if she speaks at a normal volume

no, i'm being serious. she shouldn't be doing "sexual things" at 12 with god knows who. what if she's being groomed by a pedo? when i was her age, i would spend a lot of my free time online, completely unsupervised. you don't want to know how many pedos i would stumble upon, every day.

Reply 14

mflach

12

Original post by LovelyMrFox

Kids do not deserve full trust not to make stupid decisions, that is why parents and adults in their life are their to guide them. I was a dumbarse at 12 years old, most are.

i wouldn’t say most are tbh. i cant think of any dumb decisions i made and pretty much everyone else i know turned out fine even without parents intervening. if it’s something to do with drugs then fair enough but talking to a boy? cant be a massive issue. i remember hiding my first boyfriend from my parents too and nothing bad happened. i didn’t even know much about sexual things back then

Reply 15

Foxehh

Original post by Anonymous

She’s 12 turning 13 soon

Since when do 12 year olds have phones? :confused:

Why not have a chat with her about it at a proper time rather than when shes right in the middle of whatever shes doing? That boundary of comfort isnt going to go away until you break it, if done considerately this is a great time to start talking to her about such things. Dont accuse her of anything either.

Reply 16

Wannabevetnurse

20

Original post by Anonymous

Concerned about my little sisters behaviour, she’s 12/13 yrs old and is always on the phone to some boy.

She sometimes goes in the bathroom and then I get suspicious cause she’s in there a long time so I go and lean against the door and I can hear her whispering on the phone to him but I can’t hear what they’re saying exactly as they’re whispering so quietly.

Then whenever I knock and ask what she’s doing she says nothing and that she’s on the toilet.

I’m concerned she’s secretly doing sexual things/nudes on FaceTime or Snapchat.

treat her like an adult...sit her down and talk to her....let her know that your there, first as a guardian "I dont want anything happening to you...", then as a friend "if you tell me...your secret would be safe"....then as a older sibling "Im here to protect you...". If you treat her like a terrorist by breaking boundaries and her privacy then expect her not to allow you in. Treat her like an adult and she'll open up. At the age of 12/13 I'm not sure she even knows about sex/noods sort of stuff, but she may be getting groomed.....just talk to her.

Reply 17

Original post by LovelyMrFox

Since when do 12 year olds have phones? :confused:

Why not have a chat with her about it at a proper time rather than when shes right in the middle of whatever shes doing? That boundary of comfort isnt going to go away until you break it, if done considerately this is a great time to start talking to her about such things. Dont accuse her of anything either.

i got my first phone at 9/10 i think, lol. i think that's pretty common nowadays?

Reply 18

OP

Original post by mflach

i think just leave her alone. if you haven’t got a good enough relationship for her to not feel comfortable talking to people around you, then maybe there’s something wrong with that. you have to trust her to not make any stupid decisions, and if she does, one of the best ways to grow is to learn from your mistake. also, sometimes u don’t want everything you do to be known by your family. just trust her

Whilst I understand where you’re coming from I don’t think trust should be given to children, this is why the age of consent is 16, girls at the ages of 13 are so vulnerable that they would do anything to be popular and if it means sending a nude to the boy in the year above they’d do it cause they think it’s cool and what adults do. Which is why I’m trying to prevent her from doing something bad, perhaps she is just having a normal convo and I’m overthinking it but i hardly trust her to make the right decisions

Reply 19