English Speech

Your speech is excellent but I recommend adding things like an anecdote e.g. you could talk about a time you went to the shops and looked at products which certified they were not tested on animals and how that made you feel. You could include facts but also state where you got them from or found them, try to add some persuasive language and stuff like list of 3 or repetition. Remember to also use opinions and personal pronouns.

great topic! and it does read very well but i would bare in mind as it is a speech you don't want to just read something off a paper. i acc did this for my english speaking assessment (which i presume that this is ?) - it did go well but it definitely isn't what a speech is. it is better to have cue cards with a few bullet points and then use these and make your points . this allows u to engage more with the audience and keep eye contact .

i do like your speech tho . for me, there are too many rhetorical questions which aren't needed . i also think it would be good to add in at the start why you chose your topic and if there is some personal relevance to u maybe …?
regarding the make-up brand bit to sympathise with ur audience more you could talk about some of the pros of using the brands that test on animals (e.g maybe cheaper?) but they talk about how the positives (not testing) outweigh the negatives. you could also add in here how you have changed the make-up brands you use bc of this, again relating to the audience

just a few points, good luck !!

For example Body Shop or Boots

great topic! and it does read very well but i would bare in mind as it is a speech you don't want to just read something off a paper. i acc did this for my english speaking assessment (which i presume that this is ?) - it did go well but it definitely isn't what a speech is. it is better to have cue cards with a few bullet points and then use these and make your points . this allows u to engage more with the audience and keep eye contact .

i do like your speech tho . for me, there are too many rhetorical questions which aren't needed . i also think it would be good to add in at the start why you chose your topic and if there is some personal relevance to u maybe …?
regarding the make-up brand bit to sympathise with ur audience more you could talk about some of the pros of using the brands that test on animals (e.g maybe cheaper?) but they talk about how the positives (not testing) outweigh the negatives. you could also add in here how you have changed the make-up brands you use bc of this, again relating to the audience

just a few points, good luck !!

This is a good start. To improve a bit further on this I suggest adding persuasive language and also try to use some really hard hitting facts etc that make you feel empathy and think in addition. To push your answer further towards a grade nine or a top quality response that is what you need to do to it.
Good luck. Use your class notes as fodder for your task. It will make it much easier generally speaking here. See if you can find some numbers or quotes online that lend weight and substance to your answer as well. Put all of the information into your own words. Also you could briefly touch on a few different effective ways to help out in addition for example donating time or cash to UK animal protection charities for instance.
I hope that this feedback is useful to you. Having read your entire assignment I would personally award it a grade five at least for trying. One final recommendation I would like to make here which is to consider the reader and how they might feel upon reading it. Just my two cents.