Reverse rationalisation

Do girls actually reverse rationalise when it comes to judging whether they have feelings for a guy? Do they actually think “I was holding hands with him so therefore I must like him” or “I wasn’t even making prolonged eye contact with him so therefore I must not not like him that much”.

I can't speak for all girls but no. Neither me nor my friends do this. If we wanted to know how strong our feelings are or even if there are any then we'd talk to him, get to know him and then let a few days pass to see if he's till on our mind. Or sometimes it's kinda obvious from the beginning that we do like him so there's no need. We mostly use reverse rationalise the other way, so we would think " he didn't talk to me when he saw me" or " he doesn't like me that much because he's laughing a lot with another girl" or " I made it obvious I was free all afternoon and he didn't offer to spend time with me"

So if you thought all that (he didn’t make a move so he must not like me, he was laughing a lot with another girl so he must not like me, a few days passed and I wasn’t thinking about him etc) and he asked you out months later, would you reject him?

Depends if we've spoken during those months and how close we are. If it was like no conversations then just asking me out then I'd say no because we wouldn't be close enough anymore. If he still cared then he would take that and initiate conversation. So I would reject him but hint out that I'm still interested

What if you’ve been friends with him for years?

Then I would say yes. BUT, I do think that you should like flirt with her in advance to asking her and make it fairly obvious to her. I know some of my friends who were completely shocked when a guy friend asked them out as they didn't realise it was serious.

How do you make it fairly obvious especially to a girl with low self esteem who assumes guys don’t like her? Is asking to hang out with them alone every week and trying to make a lot of eye contact with them enough?

Yh but try to talk like a general convo when you see her

Yh but try to talk like a general convo when you see her

What do you mean by a general convo?

And also how do girls show that they don’t like you as more than a friend when


And also how do girls hint that they don’t like you as more than a friend when they get obvious hints.

If she talks to you about liking another guy or creates distance randomly

Would she create distance sometimes and close the distance at other times?

Yes like if you flirt with her and then there's distance then you'd know. You could just plainly tell her how you feel because you never really know, she could feel the same but is too afraid to ruin your friendship

I get mixed vibes.

Then you should just be straight up. It might be scary but unless you want to ignore your feelings then that's probs the only way. Or you could create some hypothetical situation and ask?

Would that actually get an answer though? In my experience, when you ask a friend out you don’t really get a yes or a no.

Really??? So what do they respond with?

Well in the past I’ve got believable excuses which last for a limited time. Things like she’s not ready at the moment due to this or she has a big work thing in 2 weeks time etc.