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Breaking up with a bad kisser?

I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for around 4 months. He is TERRIBLE at kissing me, he barely moves his mouth at all but rams his tongue down my throat and there's way too much spit. I have to remind him constantly to brush his teeth. We've tried to work on it, I've asked how he likes to be kissed, have slowed things down to work on technique, but it's just not working and he says he just gets carried away and forgets how I like to be kissed. I'm his first gf, so I know he's inexperienced and have taken that into account up until now.

Honestly it really grosses me out. He's a lovely guy but I now actively avoid kissing him, feel a bit sick thinking about it and it's ruining our chemistry. I want to break up with him, is this an overreaction? He's absolutely convinced we're going to be together forever and I feel bad for bursting his bubble.

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It's up to you how much of a deal-breaker this is.

I (32F) rarely kiss my boyfriend (34M) with tongues because neither of us really care much for it. I'm perfectly happy with that arrangement.
Honestly i would be more worried about the fact that you have to remind him to brush his teeth.
Go with your gut it’s usually right, for me personally kissing is quite important into how much I want to see someone, but everyone is different. At the end of the day you’ve got to be happy. You’ve got to weigh up if other things out way the bad kissing and nobody else can make that decision. I don’t think it matters what techniques you use as long as you’re mutually happy
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Original post by Catsarepurrfect
Honestly i would be more worried about the fact that you have to remind him to brush his teeth.

I'm just really sensitive to bad breath, which he has a lot of the time. I don't know if he was ever taught how to brush properly and I'm unsure how to bring that up with a 30 year old man tbh. It was hard enough telling him why I needed him to chew gum or brush before meeting up.
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Original post by Anonymous
Go with your gut it’s usually right, for me personally kissing is quite important into how much I want to see someone, but everyone is different. At the end of the day you’ve got to be happy. You’ve got to weigh up if other things out way the bad kissing and nobody else can make that decision. I don’t think it matters what techniques you use as long as you’re mutually happy

I think I'm going to have to end it. I've enjoyed kissing people in the past, now I dread seeing him for fear of the slimy tongue of doom. He just will not listen when I tell him what I like and don't like, so there's probably no point in dragging things out. Just wanted to double check with others that I wasn't being overdramatic lol
Original post by Anonymous
I'm just really sensitive to bad breath, which he has a lot of the time. I don't know if he was ever taught how to brush properly and I'm unsure how to bring that up with a 30 year old man tbh. It was hard enough telling him why I needed him to chew gum or brush before meeting up.

It is possible that he has tonsil stones - super disgusting and smelly, and they cause bad breath. I always wondered why do i get bad breath so often even thought i brushed my teeth regulary, and once something white and smelly came out of my mouth. I googled it up, and i found out i had tonsil stones. I got rid of them by using mouth wash and pushing them out by the back of my brush. Now i don't get smelly breath anymore. But i have no idea how to casualy ask your boyfriend about that.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm just really sensitive to bad breath, which he has a lot of the time. I don't know if he was ever taught how to brush properly and I'm unsure how to bring that up with a 30 year old man tbh. It was hard enough telling him why I needed him to chew gum or brush before meeting up.

Yikes is that why you're his first gf at age 30?

I don't think it would be OTT to break up with him unless you're madly in love with him. Over time this stinginess will just create a huge wedge
Original post by Anonymous
I think I'm going to have to end it. I've enjoyed kissing people in the past, now I dread seeing him for fear of the slimy tongue of doom. He just will not listen when I tell him what I like and don't like, so there's probably no point in dragging things out. Just wanted to double check with others that I wasn't being overdramatic lol

Haha narr, it sounds like you have ick and usually there’s no going back, thats what I find anyway 😂. It sounds like a good decision. At the end of the day what’s the point if you’re happier single than you are in a relationship that’s my philosophy.
You can't casually ask him anyway without hurting his feelings, however in future i'm sure he will be grateful you brought awareness to it so he doesn't keep going through it and potentially alienating people who don';t say anything.

he should obviously know for his own sake too
Original post by Anonymous
Yikes is that why you're his first gf at age 30?

I don't think it would be OTT to break up with him unless you're madly in love with him. Over time this stinginess will just create a huge wedge

he just says he's been 'waiting for the right woman' which is apparently me. I'm honestly feeling too much pressure from him, he's quite clingy and overbearing. He told me he loved me after 2 weeks. I get some people feel that, it's just not me though.
Original post by Anonymous
I think I'm going to have to end it. I've enjoyed kissing people in the past, now I dread seeing him for fear of the slimy tongue of doom. He just will not listen when I tell him what I like and don't like, so there's probably no point in dragging things out. Just wanted to double check with others that I wasn't being overdramatic lol


Original post by Anonymous
he just says he's been 'waiting for the right woman' which is apparently me. I'm honestly feeling too much pressure from him, he's quite clingy and overbearing. He told me he loved me after 2 weeks. I get some people feel that, it's just not me though.

Tbh even just reading your posts i wanna run away myself lol
Original post by Catsarepurrfect
It is possible that he has tonsil stones - super disgusting and smelly, and they cause bad breath. I always wondered why do i get bad breath so often even thought i brushed my teeth regulary, and once something white and smelly came out of my mouth. I googled it up, and i found out i had tonsil stones. I got rid of them by using mouth wash and pushing them out by the back of my brush. Now i don't get smelly breath anymore. But i have no idea how to casualy ask your boyfriend about that.

I wouldn't be surprised if he did have. But he does have hygiene issues; I've seen him brush and it was only for about 30 seconds, and he doesn't floss or mouthwash either. I did pull him up on it and he kinda rolled his eyes but started brushing again half arsed. Idk I just think it's a bit weird if you're 30 and don't look after your teeth.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know if he was ever taught how to brush properly

A 30-year-old should have worked out how to brush his teeth properly by now... If I was in your position, I would not have stuck around for this long. If a guy needs to be told to brush his teeth and can't retain what you like and don't like, to me it sounds like he is not mature enough for a relationship.
Original post by Anonymous
I wouldn't be surprised if he did have. But he does have hygiene issues; I've seen him brush and it was only for about 30 seconds, and he doesn't floss or mouthwash either. I did pull him up on it and he kinda rolled his eyes but started brushing again half arsed. Idk I just think it's a bit weird if you're 30 and don't look after your teeth.

Yeah, that is weird. Honestly, can you imagine living with him for the rest of your life? It doesn't sound like it, so you will either break his heart now or later. I would recommend now, so that way you don't waste your and his time.
Thanks for all your input! I think the reason I've stayed so long is I'm worried about hurting him. I've never broken up with someone before (was in an 8 year relationship that fell apart a year ago), and I'm really not sure how to do it. I realise that I'm just causing more harm than good at this point and need to do something ASAP.
Why can’t you teach him how you like it?
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for all your input! I think the reason I've stayed so long is I'm worried about hurting him. I've never broken up with someone before (was in an 8 year relationship that fell apart a year ago), and I'm really not sure how to do it. I realise that I'm just causing more harm than good at this point and need to do something ASAP.

It’s because you care tho I don’t think anybody normal looks forward to it, think of it like waxing your legs, short term it hurts but once it’s done you'll feel so much better for it. Good luck! I’d be honest and say that you can’t see things working out, but maybe don’t go too personal. Maybe do some thing called a **** sandwich, where you say something positive then negative then positive, if you want to take the edge off. Then again sometimes it easier to come out and say it depends what your boyfriend is like really and how you think it would deal with it. Maybe ask him how he feels about your relationship then you can counter argue if that makes sense
Original post by ashtolga23
Why can’t you teach him how you like it?

did you read the bit where she says she tries but he "forgets"?
Original post by Anonymous
Haha narr, it sounds like you have ick and usually there’s no going back, thats what I find anyway 😂. It sounds like a good decision. At the end of the day what’s the point if you’re happier single than you are in a relationship that’s my philosophy.


I could really like someone and get the ick, it's not good but whatever lol.. they could do the smallest thing and id never see them the same its pre evil

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