The Student Room Group

How to get my boyfriend to pay me back?

About a month and a half ago my boyfriend was buying us lube and some other things, and his card declined when he was buying it as he hadn't transferred money over recently so he asked me to pay for it and then said he'd pay me in cash when he saw me next.
However it's been a month and a half and he still hasn't even brought it up, it wasn't like very expensive but i'm a student and like money is difficult lmao and i'm struggling a bit. As well as the fact that I haven't even been near any of the stuff I paid for cause of lockdown and everything and won't for a long time, however he has been and has used it etc. It's a bit frustrating.
Although money's a bit tight at the moment, I would have been completely fine paying for the things if he'd just asked me to in the first place, however he insisted on paying and we talked about it a lot before his card declined and he said he'd pay, and then once i'd paid instead he insisted he'd pay me back the next time he saw me, however it's been ages now and nothing. I would much prefer if he'd just asked me to pay straight up rather than getting me to pay, promising to pay me back and then just not doing it.
I've brought it up quite a few times recently and every time he's acknowledged that I paid for it but just not mentioned paying me back at all and like ? What do I do? I don't know if he's just changed his mind and didn't feel like telling me or is just ignoring it?
I've tried gently nudging the subject but it just goes completely over his head every time, can anyone give me some advice on how to approach this with him? Thanks :smile:
Just ask him if he’s going to pay you back. Be straightforward
if i am going to date a poor or broke man, he better be handsome
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
if i am going to date a poor or broke man, he better be handsome

ahaha amazing lmao
Original post by Anonymous
ahaha amazing lmao

lmao honestly gurl
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
lmao honestly gurl

that's class lmao thank you, great advice haha
Write it off and don't bring up the subject of this particular payment with him.

Recoup your money by buying him nothing (over £1) for valentines, his birthday, next christmas.

If he asks why you got him nothing, or just a single item from Poundland, reply with a smile on your face with the exact same words he said to you last time you spoke to him about repaying you for the lube.

The best way to make a serious point in this situation is for you to be cool about it (not nagging him any more to pay you back), for you to be assertive (stop buying him presents unless by some miracle he pays you back with interest), whilst also using a bit of humour (making a joke about his feeble excuses or avoidance of giving you a clear and honest answer).
I would just forget about it and move on. Seems like a really petty thing to get upset at your bf about
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
I would just forget about it and move on. Seems like a really petty thing to get upset at your bf about


I agree
Reply 9
Next time you’re getting something together just say, your turn to pay as I got the lube. Perhaps he’s digging in on it because he feels you’re making too much fuss over a small thing. If he’s just generally mean you could consider the heave-ho
how much money actually is it
Original post by Zarek
Next time you’re getting something together just say, your turn to pay as I got the lube. Perhaps he’s digging in on it because he feels you’re making too much fuss over a small thing. If he’s just generally mean you could consider the heave-ho


Yeah I think this is the best way to go about it

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