The Student Room Group

Boy problems

It's a complicated one. Me and this boy met through mutuals and was pretty awkward the first time we met. We talked more via text and clicked quite well, we met a couple times. (Unfortunately, both times I happened to be drunk with couple friends - side note - this WAS around a month ago) We ended up kissing on NYE. We however have stopped talking tbh. He has asked me to meet him but it's always been at the most random times such as 2am, 11pm, some of the times he was drunk.

We spoke recently and he asked me to see him and I said no because of lockdown, he insisted I was probably going to meet other boys. (This was false) He always goes on about me talking to a lot of boys/ meeting a lot of guys. I told him it's nothing to worry about and that I don't infact 'talk to multiple boys' and I have boy- mates, not anything more. I told him that I know he gets a lot of attention from girls but I don't say anything, he just said ''Yeah I do but I don't entertain it, I don't satisfy anything'', I just said well yeah.. neither do I. I then went on to ask him why he cares if he never messages me, he said he would if I didn't ''talk to so many boys''. I just want him to get this stupid idea out of his head.

I really do like him, I'm not sure if he feels the same way because he doesn't show it like he did before we kissed. I also don't know much about him because he's a very closed book. It's hard to get to know him and as his friends told me, he won't open up unless he knows he can 100% trust you. I completely understand, I just wish he gave me more direct signals and I really hope he isn't just using me, I get this idea from the weird times he has asked to meet me.. idk lol
totally get it maybe be honest with him
Reply 2
Original post by ADarling
totally get it maybe be honest with him

I would, but he wouldn't open up to me just because I know he's scared to admit how he feels. Tbh, we both need to swallow our pride and tell each other how we feel but I know that's not going to happen because it's out of both our comfort zone :frown:
Without coming across as mean, he sounds quite insecure? Like he struggles with his own self esteem that it kind of manifests in how he seems himself? He probably doesn't think of himself as worthy or desirable enough to have you so he brings other guys into the picture because he thinks they're others out there who are better than him? This might be a lot of more personal and doesn't say anything about you or how he perceives you but rather himself.
(edited 3 years ago)
The times that he asks to meet suggest he’s only really after that to me, if I’m honest.

and if he’s only ever contacting you to stop or seek reassurance of you not speaking to anyone, it could spiral into being controlling?

Possible at least,

All the best either way.
Reply 5
Original post by Angela_Agbaji
Without coming across as mean, he sounds quite insecure? Like he struggles with his own self esteem that it kind of manifests in how he seems himself? He probably doesn't think of himself as worthy or desirable enough to have you so he brings other guys into the picture because he thinks they're others out there who are better than him? This might be a lot of more personal and doesn't say anything about you or how he perceives you but rather himself.

Yeah, I see where you're coming from. I wish I could reassure him I'm not talking to multiple people. I guess it's down to trust and loyalty
Reply 6
Original post by EconomicsStud3nt
The times that he asks to meet suggest he’s only really after that to me, if I’m honest.

and if he’s only ever contacting you to stop or seek reassurance of you not speaking to anyone, it could spiral into being controlling?

Possible at least,

All the best either way.

Yeah, he seems to only want to meet during later times. Then again - he is a very busy person and is hardly in town, I don't want to be naive however I don't want to jump to conclusions.

I completely agree with the controlling part, I feel he's insecure, I wish I could assure him he is the only one I'm interested In however he wont believe me.. I think all I can do is get to know him better and see how he continues to act.

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