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<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>
<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

I don't miss my girlfriend in lockdown

Just curious as to if other people who are separated from their partners in lockdown actually not missing them.
I just kinda feel meh about it like I'm not too bothered anymore, about anything really. In the first lockdown I really missed her and it hurt so much, does hurt a little now but I feel mostly numb.
I think I miss the sex though, sounds shallow of me I know but nothing else is really making me miss her. I guess I did like to have someone around because I feel lonely a lot.
Bit confused as to why I'm feeling like this.

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Lockdown can often mess us up -make us dull our emotions etc.
It's a bizarre time so now might not be the best time to completely cut yourself off from your girlfriend.
You could maybe be honest with her and say that you've been having some doubts during lockdown - how does she feel?

Lockdown has made me gain over a stone, feel dull, tired, anxious, killed my libido, I used to love porn and now I watch a film and get no excitement....
two possibilities - you are not currently ready for a relationship or she is not the right person for you
Original post by Anonymous
two possibilities - you are not currently ready for a relationship or she is not the right person for you

thatis bacily the same thing
Reply 4
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by stickylikehoney
Lockdown can often mess us up -make us dull our emotions etc.
It's a bizarre time so now might not be the best time to completely cut yourself off from your girlfriend.
You could maybe be honest with her and say that you've been having some doubts during lockdown - how does she feel?

Lockdown has made me gain over a stone, feel dull, tired, anxious, killed my libido, I used to love porn and now I watch a film and get no excitement....

I'm not sure if she's even bothered either, I know she'll say she cares and misses me but doesn't feel that way to me but I could be overthinking.
I just sort of don't feel like there is any point being with her, because we probably won't be able to see each other for months.
Lockdown is making me lose weight because my eating and sleeping schedule is all messed up, I have no motivation to even get up and do anything.
I can't be bothered looking after myself lol I don't see the point.
Reply 5
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
two possibilities - you are not currently ready for a relationship or she is not the right person for you

It's hard to tell if we're compatible because of the time apart.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not sure if she's even bothered either, I know she'll say she cares and misses me but doesn't feel that way to me but I could be overthinking.
I just sort of don't feel like there is any point being with her, because we probably won't be able to see each other for months.
Lockdown is making me lose weight because my eating and sleeping schedule is all messed up, I have no motivation to even get up and do anything.
I can't be bothered looking after myself lol I don't see the point.

This is just my opinion but from you've written it sounds like lockdown is getting you down, not just the gf situation.
Id say be honest with her and how you feel
But personally I don't reckon break up. Lockdown might be making you depressed and dull.
I mean you guys got together didn't you there must be some love.
I mean yes you won't see each other for months, on the other hand you also won't be going dating and meeting up with other girls.
Reply 7
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by stickylikehoney
This is just my opinion but from you've written it sounds like lockdown is getting you down, not just the gf situation.
Id say be honest with her and how you feel
But personally I don't reckon break up. Lockdown might be making you depressed and dull.
I mean you guys got together didn't you there must be some love.
I mean yes you won't see each other for months, on the other hand you also won't be going dating and meeting up with other girls.

Depression isn't new to me but I haven't felt this dull about my relationship before, just a strange gloomy feeling about it. I'm depressed in general no doubt about that and lockdown makes it worse but I feel a bit different this time, like I've stopped caring about stuff?

This is our 3rd lockdown apart it's just ruining the relationship because we can't enjoy each other's time as much or do any couple things.
It scares me a bit because I had this live life to the full sort of mindset before where spending time with people you care about should be one of the most important things and I worry we're missing out on precious time. You never know what could happen.
Original post by Anonymous
Depression isn't new to me but I haven't felt this dull about my relationship before, just a strange gloomy feeling about it. I'm depressed in general no doubt about that and lockdown makes it worse but I feel a bit different this time, like I've stopped caring about stuff?

This is our 3rd lockdown apart it's just ruining the relationship because we can't enjoy each other's time as much or do any couple things.
It scares me a bit because I had this live life to the full sort of mindset before where spending time with people you care about should be one of the most important things and I worry we're missing out on precious time. You never know what could happen.

I guess be honest with her then mate and if it comes to it, I suppose break up if that's how you feel deep down... Be honest and see what she says - two sides to every story
It sounds like your mental health has obviously taken a toll and that’s making it hard to feel much of anything really. It’s not that you don’t love your girlfriend, just that you don’t have the energy to devote so much time and effort to her right now.

I wouldn’t necessarily break up over this, but be open with her and perhaps try to seek help. Lockdown will end eventually, so it could be beneficial to stick it out with her.

This is just my interpretation of what you’ve said, so take it with a pinch of salt.
Original post by stickylikehoney
Lockdown can often mess us up -make us dull our emotions etc.
It's a bizarre time so now might not be the best time to completely cut yourself off from your girlfriend.
You could maybe be honest with her and say that you've been having some doubts during lockdown - how does she feel?

Lockdown has made me gain over a stone, feel dull, tired, anxious, killed my libido, I used to love porn and now I watch a film and get no excitement....

Yeah I think he’s right but maybe give yourself some time first to see if your feelings change before bringing up anything? I think you might still love her but could just be used to the relationship
Original post by ashtolga23
It sounds like your mental health has obviously taken a toll and that’s making it hard to feel much of anything really. It’s not that you don’t love your girlfriend, just that you don’t have the energy to devote so much time and effort to her right now.

I wouldn’t necessarily break up over this, but be open with her and perhaps try to seek help. Lockdown will end eventually, so it could be beneficial to stick it out with her.

This is just my interpretation of what you’ve said, so take it with a pinch of salt.

Original post by Anonymous
Yeah I think he’s right but maybe give yourself some time first to see if your feelings change before bringing up anything? I think you might still love her but could just be used to the relationship


I think I still love her but ye it does feel like I don't have the energy to be bothered with anything. Lockdowns will go on for a long time though so I do feel like it's gonna be hard to keep a relationship alive with video calls. In all honesty that kinda makes me feel like it's pointless, but then again so is everything lol.
Original post by Anonymous
I think I still love her but ye it does feel like I don't have the energy to be bothered with anything. Lockdowns will go on for a long time though so I do feel like it's gonna be hard to keep a relationship alive with video calls. In all honesty that kinda makes me feel like it's pointless, but then again so is everything lol.

Totally get that haha, see how things play out :smile: after lockdown things might change...
Original post by I want a gf girl
thatis bacily the same thing


They are very different things
Original post by Anonymous
Totally get that haha, see how things play out :smile: after lockdown things might change...

I don't know how much longer I can wait for lockdowns to be over :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know how much longer I can wait for lockdowns to be over :frown:

Yeah :/ I suppose your true feelings will eventually show in lockdown, really consider if this girl is meant for you or not. If you find that you have no interest in her and it stays that way then maybe she’s not meant for you? But I wouldn’t be so quick to leave her. At the moment make sure you’re taking care of yourself and doing things that make you happy, even if it’s difficult to do indoors. I think this is the first step to attract what’s meant for us. Maybe even push yourself to talk to her when you don’t feel like it (but you actually have to make yourself believe that you want to and enjoy her company haha) and see how that works out.
(edited 3 years ago)
I miss it without my girlfriend when she at university because I had my own freedom then but now I am just controlled by her in my own parents house. She's taken fully advantage of me and I have no say
Original post by Anonymous
I miss it without my girlfriend when she at university because I had my own freedom then but now I am just controlled by her in my own parents house. She's taken fully advantage of me and I have no say

That sounds bad, I don't really know what to say or suggest but you have to stand up to her or leave her because no one should be allowed to take your freedom away from you.
Original post by Ellienixon1
Yeah :/ I suppose your true feelings will eventually show in lockdown, really consider if this girl is meant for you or not. If you find that you have no interest in her and it stays that way then maybe she’s not meant for you? But I wouldn’t be so quick to leave her. At the moment make sure you’re taking care of yourself and doing things that make you happy, even if it’s difficult to do indoors. I think this is the first step to attract what’s meant for us. Maybe even push yourself to talk to her when you don’t feel like it (but you actually have to make yourself believe that you want to and enjoy her company haha) and see how that works out.

I feel like she is the right girl for me when we're having a normal relationship, seeing each other and spending time together in person but when everyone is online over video calls it doesn't feel the same and I question being with her.
I don't really have anything I like to do indoors apart from gaming but I just feel lazy when I do this all day.
We don't even talk that much on video calls lol, there are long periods of silence sometimes.
Original post by Anonymous
I feel like she is the right girl for me when we're having a normal relationship, seeing each other and spending time together in person but when everyone is online over video calls it doesn't feel the same and I question being with her.

would it be different with another girl though? I think that's what you've got to figure out

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