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Never dated before! M17 in need of help

I’ve never done anything with a girl, most I’ve done was hug. I just turned 17 and I don’t want to be an 18 year old virgin. I’m very confident, some people even say I’m cocky. I’ve been talking with girls my whole life and my confidence has never been a problem, but no girl has ever been interested with me and I’ve never been past the talking stage with them. Or simply just get left on read. I don’t think they see me as romantic material. I never come across as needy or Pervy and none of my friends said I’m bad in terms of looks. But now I’m starting to think my looks are a problem or something is really ****ed up with me that don’t realise. Can anyone who reads this help me with my situation. It would be much appreciated thanks!
(edited 3 years ago)

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Original post by edawg04
I’ve never done anything with a girl, most I’ve done was hug. I just turned 17 and I don’t want to be an 18 year old virgin. I’m very confident, some people even say I’m cocky. I’ve been talking with girls my whole life and my confidence has never been a problem, but no girl has ever been interested with me and I’ve never been past the talking stage with them. Or simply just get left on read. I don’t think they see me as romantic material. I never come across as needy or Pervy and none of my friends said I’m bad in terms of looks. But now I’m starting to think my looks are a problem or something is really ****ed up with me that don’t realise. Can anyone who reads this help me with my situation. It would be much appreciated thanks!

I’m sure nothings ****ed with you! Whenever sex happens it happens. I lost my virginity at 14 and I honestly, I regret losing it so young! A lot of my boy mates are amazing people (&lovely looking too) but are still virgins - sometimes that’s just how it is! I can understand it can be frustrating but if you end up going to uni in a few years I’m sure you’ll lose it ASAP! (Ps. If your friends may describe you as cocky, try turning it down a little - cockiness is sexy until it’s too much! Could be a reason why you struggle to get past the talking stage) :smile:
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Original post by edawg04
I’ve never done anything with a girl, most I’ve done was hug. I just turned 17 and I don’t want to be an 18 year old virgin. I’m very confident, some people even say I’m cocky. I’ve been talking with girls my whole life and my confidence has never been a problem, but no girl has ever been interested with me and I’ve never been past the talking stage with them. Or simply just get left on read. I don’t think they see me as romantic material. I never come across as needy or Pervy and none of my friends said I’m bad in terms of looks. But now I’m starting to think my looks are a problem or something is really ****ed up with me that don’t realise. Can anyone who reads this help me with my situation. It would be much appreciated thanks!

May be the type interactions you’ve had and the types of relationships you built. Just wait and it’ll come. Not much else I can say. Just be more confident in trying to get past talking stages, you don’t wanna waste your time on someone who’s there for the laughs.
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Original post by 22749
May be the type interactions you’ve had and the types of relationships you built. Just wait and it’ll come. Not much else I can say. Just be more confident in trying to get past talking stages, you don’t wanna waste your time on someone who’s there for the laughs.

Yeah icl I don’t think that would happen soon. My game is pretty bad for which may be a reason, but at the same time I don’t see any reason why I remain a virgin!
Original post by edawg04
I’ve never done anything with a girl, most I’ve done was hug. I just turned 17 and I don’t want to be an 18 year old virgin. I’m very confident, some people even say I’m cocky. I’ve been talking with girls my whole life and my confidence has never been a problem, but no girl has ever been interested with me and I’ve never been past the talking stage with them. Or simply just get left on read. I don’t think they see me as romantic material. I never come across as needy or Pervy and none of my friends said I’m bad in terms of looks. But now I’m starting to think my looks are a problem or something is really ****ed up with me that don’t realise. Can anyone who reads this help me with my situation. It would be much appreciated thanks!

Perhaps the cockiness is off-putting?

Also it's a pandemic if you haven't noticed, so I think it would be perfectly understandable not to have sex right now. Even under normal circumstances, many people lose it in their 20s.
Original post by Anonymous018
I’m sure nothings ****ed with you! Whenever sex happens it happens. I lost my virginity at 14 and I honestly, I regret losing it so young! A lot of my boy mates are amazing people (&lovely looking too) but are still virgins - sometimes that’s just how it is! I can understand it can be frustrating but if you end up going to uni in a few years I’m sure you’ll lose it ASAP! (Ps. If your friends may describe you as cocky, try turning it down a little - cockiness is sexy until it’s too much! Could be a reason why you struggle to get past the talking stage) :smile:

Hopefully in uni the girls won’t be too picky, I don’t think any girl I ever met has ever been attracted to me. It may be my looks or how I compose myself. Things aren’t very good for me atm, especially with lockdown restrictions and not being able to meet new girls
Reply 6
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Original post by ashtolga23
Perhaps the cockiness is off-putting?

Also it's a pandemic if you haven't noticed, so I think it would be perfectly understandable not to have sex right now. Even under normal circumstances, many people lose it in their 20s.


Yeah hopefully things get better after lockdown. I might be cocky, but I don’t think it’s that overwhelmingly unattractive. Losing it in your 20 is pretty bad tho
Original post by edawg04
Yeah hopefully things get better after lockdown. I might be cocky, but I don’t think it’s that overwhelmingly unattractive. Losing it in your 20 is pretty bad tho

Yeah, I hope so too.

It depends how cocky really. Confidence is attractive, but arrogance is a turn-off generally. There's honestly nothing wrong with losing it in your 20s, and a lot of girls would probably be honoured to be your first in you're looking for a romantic relationship. On that note, if you're just looking for sex then that might also not appeal to people. It's hard to say because I don't have that many details, but there are plenty of reasons it may not have happened yet really. It could even just be that you're not speaking to the right girls.
Original post by edawg04
I’ve never done anything with a girl, most I’ve done was hug. I just turned 17 and I don’t want to be an 18 year old virgin. I’m very confident, some people even say I’m cocky. I’ve been talking with girls my whole life and my confidence has never been a problem, but no girl has ever been interested with me and I’ve never been past the talking stage with them. Or simply just get left on read. I don’t think they see me as romantic material. I never come across as needy or Pervy and none of my friends said I’m bad in terms of looks. But now I’m starting to think my looks are a problem or something is really ****ed up with me that don’t realise. Can anyone who reads this help me with my situation. It would be much appreciated thanks!

Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being an 18 year old virgin. It sounds sad but, hear me out. Virginity is literally just a social concept. No point in rushing yourself to lose it. I lost my virginity at 14. I don’t regret it but, there’s nothing great about it except bragging rights. I say wait until you finally escape a talking stage and enter a relationship, there’s no rush.
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being an 18 year old virgin. It sounds sad but, hear me out. Virginity is literally just a social concept. No point in rushing yourself to lose it. I lost my virginity at 14. I don’t regret it but, there’s nothing great about it except bragging rights. I say wait until you finally escape a talking stage and enter a relationship, there’s no rush.

How do I escape the talking stage my friend, I have not been really talked to many girls. And the ones that I have talked to were never interested in me, all my hopes are starting to fade because of this, I don’t want to waste my time chasing girls as there’s no positive outcome :frown: only denial
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Original post by ashtolga23
Yeah, I hope so too.

It depends how cocky really. Confidence is attractive, but arrogance is a turn-off generally. There's honestly nothing wrong with losing it in your 20s, and a lot of girls would probably be honoured to be your first in you're looking for a romantic relationship. On that note, if you're just looking for sex then that might also not appeal to people. It's hard to say because I don't have that many details, but there are plenty of reasons it may not have happened yet really. It could even just be that you're not speaking to the right girls.

Tbf I will take anything at this point. It could possibly be racial preference, because I’m asian. I’m not trying to start a race war here, but not many girls in my area go for Asians, mainly go for white/black/mixed boys. I don’t really see many Asian boys walking with around with a gf. Even my good looking Asians mates I know haven’t kissed a girl yet. Possibly all of the stereotypes society has put on us being undesirable. So it could possibly be that, or maybe I’m just overthinking in my dire state. It’s one or the other lol!!
Original post by Anonymous
How do I escape the talking stage my friend, I have not been really talked to many girls. And the ones that I have talked to were never interested in me, all my hopes are starting to fade because of this, I don’t want to waste my time chasing girls as there’s no positive outcome :frown: only denial

How long are your talking stages usually?
Original post by edawg04
Tbf I will take anything at this point.

Desperation is a massive turn off for women.....just be yourself and it doesn't really matter if you're a virgin
Reply 13
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Original post by Anonymous
How long are your talking stages usually?

Most didn’t even last one conversation. Some lasted no longer than a week. One lasted for a month, a girl in sixth form gave me very slow replies the whole time and ended up finding another lad in the end. I have girl mates that I talk to, but I can’t seem to turn them on!!
I think you should focus on yourself and just be you and let it happen when it happens. I'm also the same age as you but I'm girl (which I'm sure you can tell) so Ik how you feel :smile:
just be yourself
Reply 16
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Original post by KAy1a.2021
just be yourself

So cliche. I’ve been told that my whole life and I haven’t had any success!
if you have an ego the size of texas, then you can't be helped. if you're that desperate, go to tinder or any other dating app. my problem couldn't be anymore similar, yet so different. anywayy, maybe you just aren't destined to move to the next stage in high school. wait until you get to college lol.
(edited 3 years ago)
Reply 18
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Original post by ifreakingloveme
if you have an ego the size of texas, then you can't be helped. if you're that desperate, go to tinder or any other dating app. my problem couldn't be anymore similar, yet so different. i'm attractive enough to get asked out a gazillion times, but my commitment issue just makes everything weird bc i can't seem to say anything other than no smh. i literally freaked out and ran away when i was abt to have my first kiss. anywayyy, maybe you just aren't destined to move to the next stage in high school. wait until you get to college lol.

I’m in sixth form lol, and I doubt I’ll have any luck on dating apps with my looks. I might come across as arrogant tbf, but I really don’t understand how girls fall for complete ********s who are worse than me, then don’t bother picking me as a partner.
My ego isn’t massive, I’m very open minded, as why I am asking for help on this webpage. I’m starting to realise that I might come across as arrogant when I’m just overconfident!
Original post by edawg04
I’ve never done anything with a girl, most I’ve done was hug. I just turned 17 and I don’t want to be an 18 year old virgin. I’m very confident, some people even say I’m cocky. I’ve been talking with girls my whole life and my confidence has never been a problem, but no girl has ever been interested with me and I’ve never been past the talking stage with them. Or simply just get left on read. I don’t think they see me as romantic material. I never come across as needy or Pervy and none of my friends said I’m bad in terms of looks. But now I’m starting to think my looks are a problem or something is really ****ed up with me that don’t realise. Can anyone who reads this help me with my situation. It would be much appreciated thanks!


Most girls do not approach or make the first move honestly.

Nothing wrong with being a virgin btw

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