leaving home

i want to add that this is not a spur of the moment thing. i thought i could convince my parents to let me move- my dream has always been studying at kings college london (i wish to study dentistry) but now the time is here it has been made clear i am allowed nowhere except this one university my parents have chosen. also, my mum hasn’t told my dad about what she has found out about me because she knows he will punish me badly. she has tried speaking to me about it but it always ends up in her guilt tripping me and threatening me in some sort. i am so certain i want to leave, i wish i could leave now and not have to go through the troubles of secretly applying for loans and moving my clothes out but i genuinely don’t know what else to do. i have spoken to school advisors who plan on trying to help me but lockdown has made that very hard. ):

it's such a sad situation but i truly think getting out will be the best for you, it seems. to have your parents say they will ban you from going to university is not a good sign, in my opinion.

you seem like a very mature person, who has clearly thought long and hard about this since you have a plan. i think the note will probably be the best choice, because you clearly won't be able to talk to them about it face-to-face and if you didn't leave a note they could call the police and file a missing persons report.

it sucks to feel so trapped by your own family. i hope things go well.

Is there still time for you to apply to Kings to read Dentistry?

yeah that’s true i didn’t think of that ): i’m pretty sure i can legally move out at 17 no? as long as i have a place to stay etc

i have applied and i’ve done the interview which they let me do as applying to only one university would have been daft but they wouldn’t have let me go. i was thinking of leaving to go kings (if i get an offer) but as it’s in london it would be so much harder without their financial support, and if i stay in my city and go to that university but living in accomodation i get lowered required grades and extra free money every year due to an access programme, so i’m tryna be smart by staying here.

You wouldn't need their financial support if you went to King's, you would have your Student Finance.

Go to King's if you can. That would be being smart.

Yes, you can do that. And if you leave a note the police won’t legally be allowed to do anything about it because you made clear intentions of leaving home, and going to stay with someone.

Leaving a note would be the absolute best idea. I don’t think the police could force you to go home if you didn’t, but I think it would avoid any police interference in the first place but also give your family a little peace of mind.

would student finance cover it though? and i think because if i stay in my city and i get the extra money and i’m around friends it’ll make leaving home easier in the sense i’m not fully alone. plus my grades are a big factor idk how i’m gonna get A*AA when they don’t even trust me trying to study alone. however i am scared of being in the same city as all my family and family friends are still here

Yes, of course Student Finance would cover it. If Student Finance didn't cover the costs of doing Dentistry at King's, it would have been impossible for many of the current students there to start.

My own dentist trained at Guy's, which I think comes under the King's umbrella now. He is an exceptionally good dentist.

One of the reasons I am suggesting King's is that I think that a certain geographical distance would be in your interests.

Parts of your first post are quite worrying and I would be concerned that the pressures currently being exerted on you wouldn't stop and may escalate into something more serious if you had left home but were still near enough to be reached.

Do you currently have an application to King's?

https://www.kcl.ac.uk/dentistry

Yes, of course Student Finance would cover it. If Student Finance didn't cover the costs of doing Dentistry at King's, it would have been impossible for many of the current students there to start.

My own dentist trained at Guy's, which I think comes under the King's umbrella now. He is an exceptionally good dentist.

One of the reasons I am suggesting King's is that I think that a certain geographical distance would be in your interests.

Parts of your first post are quite worrying and I would be concerned that the pressures currently being exerted on you wouldn't stop and may escalate into something more serious if you had left home but were still near enough to be reached.

Do you currently have an application to King's?

https://www.kcl.ac.uk/dentistry

Hi, just to echo Kerzen above, the option of a maintenance loan is available to all students including dental students and is higher if you’re moving into London from elsewhere. The exact amount is based on household income, but there is an option for estranged students too. I would recommend that you get in touch with Student Finance England to learn more about your options if finance is a concern for you.

There’s also the option of gaining part time work - both within and outside of the university to help support yourself during your studies. Plenty of dental students have part time jobs during their degree.

i think i’m most worried about how it’ll affect my mental health being alone in london with only the nee friends i will make. plus, i will have to find somewhere to stay during the holidays or have a 52 week accom which will be lots more expensive ): i reallt don’t wanna leave my friends

i think i’m most worried about how it’ll affect my mental health being alone in london with only the nee friends i will make. plus, i will have to find somewhere to stay during the holidays or have a 52 week accom which will be lots more expensive ): i reallt don’t wanna leave my friends

That’s totally understandable. I think the key issue to consider here might be how safe you are in your home city and whether you might be more safe moving away - do you think your parents might try to harass you in some way if you remain in the same city?

I don't think that you would be alone, you would soon make friends with the people on your course.

I used to live near King's, I think you would like it there.

Re finding somewhere to stay during the holidays, you mentioned having a boyfriend? Could you not stay with him?

Just to say that the advice I am giving you is taking the broader picture of your situation into account and your need to be safe and not harangued during your studies.