The Student Room Group

Binge eating disorder recovery blog

This is a blog, I’m hoping it’ll keep me persistent.
I eat processed food because it helps me feel safe and comforts me. I used to be abused a lot by my family and I used food as a way to escape from reality and keep me safe. Even though I’ve left the abuse, I still continue this. I don’t want to completely cut out sugar from my life. So I give myself one day out of the month where I can eat what I like. As of right now, I don’t have any vegetables or fruit in my diet, just constant sugar.
Tomorrow I will buy healthy food and I will get rid of all the bad food today. It’s going to be very insanely difficult but I’ll keep going. I will try to fight my cravings, it’s going to be hard and it’ll probably take a few weeks before the sadness and emptiness goes away. Here’s to a bette life. I will try to make a daily blog post.

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Reply 1
I really hope that things improve for you from here. Good luck, eating disorders are horrific to deal with and you deserve better.
Reply 2
Original post by Pathway
I really hope that things improve for you from here. Good luck, eating disorders are horrific to deal with and you deserve better.

Thank you so much, I do deserve better. It’s self diagnosed but I’m pretty sure I have it. I have to be strong!
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you so much, I do deserve better. It’s self diagnosed but I’m pretty sure I have it. I have to be strong!

You're welcome. Are you getting any support for your mental health?
Reply 4
Original post by Pathway
You're welcome. Are you getting any support for your mental health?

I’m the anon from the other thread, so yes


Thank you :smile:
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
I’m the anon from the other thread, so yes


Thank you :smile:

Good to hear! I wasn't sure. :redface:

If you ever need to chat, I'd be happy to listen. I have AN and whilst it's not the same, I can relate in some ways.
Reply 6
Goals:
- Not have more than one hypo a week (I have type 1 diabetes).
- Add vegetables in my diet
- Take multivitamins every day.
- Go for a walk every day or exercise another way.
- Have my HBA1C under 55. (HbA1c is a measure of how well controlled your blood sugar has been over a period of about 3 months. It essentially gives a good idea how high or low, on average, your blood glucose levels have been.)
Reply 7
Original post by Pathway
Good to hear! I wasn't sure. :redface:

If you ever need to chat, I'd be happy to listen. I have AN and whilst it's not the same, I can relate in some ways.

What is AN?
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
What is AN?

Anorexia Nervosa. It's a different type of ED.
Best of luck. I go between anorexia and bulimia at the moment and have done for 4 years in July so I know how tiring EDs can be. You're incredibly brave for taking this step and I'll be right here cheering you on.
Original post by Pathway
Anorexia Nervosa. It's a different type of ED.

I am aware of Anorexia, it is a different type of ED but I can understand it can be just as distressing. How are you dealing with it?

Original post by Anonymous
Best of luck. I go between anorexia and bulimia at the moment and have done for 4 years in July so I know how tiring EDs can be. You're incredibly brave for taking this step and I'll be right here cheering you on.

Really sorry to hear that. It’s sad how many of us struggling with eating. Thank you for your empathy and kind words. I really hope you get better :console:
Original post by Anonymous
I am aware of Anorexia, it is a different type of ED but I can understand it can be just as distressing. How are you dealing with it?


Really sorry to hear that. It’s sad how many of us struggling with eating. Thank you for your empathy and kind words. I really hope you get better :console:


Not very well. :redface: My psychiatrist has pretty much given up on me as a result. I've caused a lot of damage to myself and I'm not proud of that.
Original post by Anonymous
Really sorry to hear that. It’s sad how many of us struggling with eating. Thank you for your empathy and kind words. I really hope you get better :console:

It is - eating should be a source of joy and unity, but for many of us, it's just full of fear. Check out BEAT as well as they may have a support group for BED. Thanks. I'm not overly fussed about getting better at the moment - it's just part of my life right now, but I live in hope one day that I will get better.
I am not perfect and some people tell me to just “put the food down” but it isn’t that simple. When I lived with my abusive family for 15 years, I developed many different health issues including GAD. When I got badly beaten, I would eat. Even though I was constantly belittled for my body and eating habits. Was told I was worthless and so much more. OBVIOUSLY I am going to have issues. Some people turn to alcohol, drugs, sex. Some people stop eating. I ate and I ate. For so many years so it is incredibly difficult for me to stop binging. But I have gone through so much trauma in my life and here I am, strong. I have tried many times to get over my eating habits but it was difficult. And is difficult. I have diabetes type 1 also, diagnosed at age 1 and I see everyone else whose diabetic who have been diagnosed a lot later than I am, doing so well with their diabetes. My family would shame me when they saw a newly diagnosed diabetic managing their blood sugars while I was diagnosed as a baby and still struggle. I didn’t have any support at all. I was being beaten everyday and had hurtful comments thrown at me all my life, school and family. And healthcare workers. I feel ashamed for having terrible blood sugars. My doctor told me if I don’t fix my blood sugars, I will die or lose my limbs or go blind. And I feel even more ashamed that it wasn’t enough for me to fix my life up.
Original post by Pathway
Not very well. :redface: My psychiatrist has pretty much given up on me as a result. I've caused a lot of damage to myself and I'm not proud of that.

They may have given up on you but you cannot give up on yourself. I understand that, so have I. But We shouldn’t focus on the past and look forward to the future. Everyday is a brand new day to get better and be the best version of ourselves. Sadly for us, we have illnesses that make it difficult but it doesn’t make it impossible. I see you around a lot Pathway and you are very strong and beautiful hearted person. And people like you deserve happiness.
Original post by Anonymous
It is - eating should be a source of joy and unity, but for many of us, it's just full of fear. Check out BEAT as well as they may have a support group for BED. Thanks. I'm not overly fussed about getting better at the moment - it's just part of my life right now, but I live in hope one day that I will get better.

Yes:frown: it’s quite sad. I have called their helpline but understandably, I can’t get through so I have sent them an enquiry about how to self refer. Oh okay, I totally understand that. It’s your own journey and you will get better soon. I’m here for you and you’re free to contribute to the thread whenever you want.
Original post by Anonymous
Yes:frown: it’s quite sad. I have called their helpline but understandably, I can’t get through so I have sent them an enquiry about how to self refer. Oh okay, I totally understand that. It’s your own journey and you will get better soon. I’m here for you and you’re free to contribute to the thread whenever you want.

They also have an online support group. If you go on the beat website, then choose the support services tab and then go down to 'chatrooms', you'll come to their chatroom pages. Register with them, it's free, and there's the nightingale group for those with BED which meets on Tuesdays and Fridays at 6.45pm. I've been before and while it doesn't deal with your ED per se, they discuss issues like self-worth and overcoming triggers.

Thanks - the thing is that it's been over three and a half years now and I've had issues with food for around 20 years, but not as severe at the last three and a half years, so I really don't know what 'normal' looks like with food. I'll be here cheering you on though.
Original post by Anonymous
They also have an online support group. If you go on the beat website, then choose the support services tab and then go down to 'chatrooms', you'll come to their chatroom pages. Register with them, it's free, and there's the nightingale group for those with BED which meets on Tuesdays and Fridays at 6.45pm. I've been before and while it doesn't deal with your ED per se, they discuss issues like self-worth and overcoming triggers.

Thanks - the thing is that it's been over three and a half years now and I've had issues with food for around 20 years, but not as severe at the last three and a half years, so I really don't know what 'normal' looks like with food. I'll be here cheering you on though.

Neither have I. Been dealing it with since I was a child. 12 years. It’s a lot harder to deal with when you’ve gone through it even longer so it means you’re stuck, really. Well I hope I can inspire you a little bit. Cause if I can do it than anyone I can. And if I can manage this week without crying for sweets then I’ll be happy.
Original post by Anonymous
They may have given up on you but you cannot give up on yourself. I understand that, so have I. But We shouldn’t focus on the past and look forward to the future. Everyday is a brand new day to get better and be the best version of ourselves. Sadly for us, we have illnesses that make it difficult but it doesn’t make it impossible. I see you around a lot Pathway and you are very strong and beautiful hearted person. And people like you deserve happiness.


Thank you, you're very kind. :colondollar: I feel like I have given up on myself, which is another source of shame for me. Perhaps in time I will actively choose to recover, I think you're incredibly strong for choosing to do so, it's inspiring.
I threw away my special k cereal. And anything unhealthy. I’m starting my keto journey tomorrow. I’m going full keto so I won’t even be eating banana.

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