Worried about Oxford Offer

Also, anyone who hasn't been successful at getting an offer are welcome to reply too- maybe you can kick some sense into me that I'm being ungrateful?

Hi I'm an Oxford offer holder and I was wondering if anyone else is feeling a similar way. When I got my offer it first felt like a dream come true, it's been my dream since I was 12 and I would wish every day that I would get in, but now, after a few weeks of getting my offer, certain aspects of Oxford are starting to worry me. At points I've almost come close to turning my offer down (but I've told myself it would be stupid if I didn't try it and then I can leave if I hate it).
My main worry is about not fitting in and also not liking the "atmosphere". I'm at a state school and have an offer from a college with a high number of private school students. At the time I applied because I thought it was absolutely beautiful, but I regret not applying to a more diverse college like LMH or St Hugh etc. Does anyone else have similar worries? Also I've unfortunately stumbled across a few Oxford blogs (something I should have avoided) and there seems to be this slightly nasty competitive nature between colleges, like as if some are better than others, and I just feel like its such a bad vibe that some of the luckiest students in the world feel the need to compare which ones "best" and how how getting a 2.2 or 2.1 is "embarrassing". Is Oxford filled wth people like this? or are they a small minority? I know I sound so pathetic and I'm probably stressing over nothing, but I would really appreciate if anyone could talk about any experiences/feelings they've experienced too.

Also, anyone who hasn't been successful at getting an offer are welcome to reply too- maybe you can kick some sense into me that I'm being ungrateful?

I know this is a Cambridge account, but I wanted to respond to this from the perspective of someone who has studied at a very similar university (Cambridge) and who's worked with offer holders for several years now top hopefully reassure you a little bit.

Firstly, these are entirely understandable things to worry about. It's always difficult to get a true sense of what a place is like until you actually live there. There is some competition between colleges in terms of sports, but it's more like the competition between school houses on Sports' Day. Most actual students (certainly at Cambridge, and I would expect at Oxford too) don't take it that seriously. Colleges develop stereotypes, but they're about as valid as any other stereotype you might come across in life: i.e. not at all. Don't forget that student communities refresh themselves every 3-4 years, so what a college might have been known for 5 years ago is likely to no longer hold true.

Most university-aged students tend to be left-of-centre politically, although all political persuasions will be represented. You'll find people you really agree with, and those you don't. Your college is likely to be fairly small, but you're not restricted to making friends with those people if you don't want to. You'll meet people through your course, through any clubs or societies you belong to and can make friends from completely outside the university as well, if you want to. In terms of social background, while you'll inevitably meet people who have been to independent schools, anyone who thinks they're in any way 'better' because of it isn't worth the time of day. Most students will end up having a mixture of friends who come from different backgrounds and don't judge people on the kind of school they went to.

Next up, getting a 2.i or 2.ii is NOT embarrassing. Studying at top universities is hard. Coming out with a degree of any description is a massive achievement. I have never met a Cambridge student who takes academic competition between colleges seriously. Anybody who thinks below a 1st is embarrassing (which is not the majority of people) is probably not someone worth spending time with.

Finally, you're absolutely not obliged to feel grateful for being made an offer. Your emotions are your own, and they are valid. When making the decision of which institutions to firm and insure, think about the course and where you think you'll be happy. You have plenty of time to make that decision yet, so make sure you do your research thoroughly so you're able to make an informed decision. You wouldn't be letting anyone down by turning down your offer, just as you wouldn't if you turned down an offer from any other uni.

On that note, I'd recommend contacting your College's Admissions Office or JCR (student committee) who will be able to talk you through your worries. Many colleges will have offer holder events, either online or in person, where you can meet some current students and other offer holders. The same will likely be true of other universities as well - do go along to offer holder events for universities you're seriously considering firming or insuring as well, if you can.

I hope you find this helpful

Pretty sure that statistically most students at Oxford get a 2:1, so doubt that would be considered "embarrassing". Likewise I think inter-college rivalries are being overblown by those bloggers because they have nothing better to do with their lives than try and be controversial on the internet for some semblance of validation from likes and subscribers/followers/etc.

If you base your decisions on the façade created by people on the internet of their own lives, which is never representative of anything except how they wish to be seen, you will probably make a lot of decisions you regret in your life. Social media (including blogging) is like "reality" TV. It's not real, it's a carefully staged and manufactured persona, crafted to make the person creating it feel better than others while simultaneously seeking validation from those others. There is little point viewing it as anything other than entertainment at best.

Hi, I got an offer for Oxford this year too and I'm at a state school. I was really worried at first that I wouldn't be good enough, or that they'd somehow made a mistake, and I was thinking of turning it down. I've spoken to some people and they all seemed really nice and said that they felt the same, so I've decided to accept it. There are lots of people in the same boat as you, so don't be afraid!

I felt like it was mistake too aha! That's great to hear you feel better now. May I ask if you have any other worries about it and what are they? (It's nice to hear someone is in the same boat)x

My main worry is just that everybody else will be really clever! I know it's Oxford so they will be, I just worry about seeming a bit thick compared to them, haha. Not having any open days has made it a lot harder to decide as well, as I'll be going for 3 years and don't know whether I'll like it - I've never even been to Oxfordshire, let alone Oxford!

I’d say go for it. Inter college competition is negligible and most of the time it’s brought up in a jokey manner. It’s certainly not some major, all-pervasive part of Oxford life at all. I also wouldn’t worry about the students’ backgrounds per se as most will be of a liberal persuasion, even private school kids. And going to a private school doesn’t automatically make one snobby and arrogant, that’s an absurd stereotype. Most will be perfectly pleasant and friendly.

My daughter went to Christ Church from a comprehensive school. I too was worried about the reputation for snobbishness and heavy workload. Overall, I'd say her experience was that there is some basis for these reputations, but also ways of dealing with them if they arise. She's glad she went, anyhow.

She also had your worry that everyone else would be smarter than she is, but that soon dissipated. The Etonians and Harrovians are trained to present a self-confident, highly polished image to the world. Underneath, not so much. Think of our dear PM...

There is a more intense workload at Oxford. The compensation is that everyone feels it and you will get a lot more support from friends and tutors if you let them know you are struggling. A first or 2:1 is what most people get. Very few get a 2:2, but there's no magic involved; no special store of knowledge that only Oxford UGs have access to. It's just a function of the kind of people Oxford selects; people who are used to getting organised for exams. The ATs picked you because they thought, "Yep, @StillNotGinger03 will do well here". They are probably right .

First of all, congratulations in getting into Oxford! You probably have amazing grades, personal statement and reference!
When it comes to picking a university, don’t worry about the prestige, at the end of the day all that matters is that you’re going to be going to Oxford for 3+ if you choose to accept it. Do you really want to go there or do you want to go to a university that makes you happy? What I’d say is, forget about how prestigious Oxford university is for a minute, and then imagine yourself going there and if you’d like to study there if it wasn’t prestigious. (Personally when it came to picking A levels I picked Maths and Further Maths as they were academic but then dropped them both within the first two weeks of school because academically great or not, I found them either lacking for me or hard, or both!) When you go to a university I feel like pick one that is the best for you, not anyone else. Every student is different, and even if some students are applying for the same course to the same university with the same/similar grades, they will only come from different backgrounds, stages in life or have had totally different experiences in life. Do you want to go to Oxford because you like the course and the societies for example? Then you should go. If you don’t like the course or the university then try to find universities that you like, that have a course you want to do and that has interesting modules or more exams/coursework or is just generally in a good location. (Maybe you want to spend the next 3+ years in Scotland? Or maybe in Northern Ireland or Wales instead?)
There are many factors you can be picky about when choosing a university, so don’t worry about turning down an offer, or not turning down an offer.
Of course, it’ll probably be easier to find a job if you studied in Oxbridge, but do you want the experience of the university or the employability aspects of it?
It varies from person to person!
Just try to ask yourself this: Do I want to study at there for 3+ years of my life and if I don’t are the extra benefits really worth it?
Good luck in your choices!

Pretty sure that statistically most students at Oxford get a 2:1, so doubt that would be considered "embarrassing". Likewise I think inter-college rivalries are being overblown by those bloggers because they have nothing better to do with their lives than try and be controversial on the internet for some semblance of validation from likes and subscribers/followers/etc.

If you base your decisions on the façade created by people on the internet of their own lives, which is never representative of anything except how they wish to be seen, you will probably make a lot of decisions you regret in your life. Social media (including blogging) is like "reality" TV. It's not real, it's a carefully staged and manufactured persona, crafted to make the person creating it feel better than others while simultaneously seeking validation from those others. There is little point viewing it as anything other than entertainment at best.