Am I stuck up if I will only date someone if I'm physically attracted to them?

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when are men told it's wrong to look for sexual attraction in relationships?

I've been told it's wrong too, usually by those that I have rejected, which has been men. I don't consider that a gender wide thing though, probably just who I've become friends with, as it's usually friends that ask me out.

Reply 22

Anonymous #3

I agree, why’s it wrong to dislike someone due to their weight? it’s just another physical characteristic such as the shape of their nose smh

Reply 23

username1234444

not shallow but it's not a reliable foundation for a relationship. sure looks may be "exciting" for a while but looks fade and when you marry someone, all you will have are the memories you've made and each other. looks should be a fraction of what you're looking for in a person but you still need to be sexually attracted to them so yeah, it is quite important but definitely shouldn't override any other reasons such as their personality + their character.

idk personally when i like someone's personality, they instantly become attractive in my eyes

Reply 24

Anonymous #4

i'm not sure there's a widespread gender-based double standard, women are also expected to overlook male "deficiencies" - 'boys will be boys', 'if he's mean to you sometimes it's just flirtation', and weight too (like you mentioned) etc. relationships are full of give and takes & nosy other people are always quick to tell couples to get over it and work for their relationship 🤷*♀️

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

Original post by username1234444

I want to get across that I don't have unrealistic expectations for looks, there are just people I'm attracted to and people I'm not. I'm not looking for 'exciting' but just someone I would want to/can have physical/sexual chemistry with. I always consider personality/character, I've never dated anyone solely for looks or anything like that, I don't hold looks over personality but it is an important element I think?

Reply 26

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

That’s totally fine dw
(j make sure ur nice when u reject people)

Reply 27

ellie0497

certainly shallow but not a bad thing!

Reply 28

username5600688

Original post by Anonymous

That’s totally fine dw
(j make sure ur nice when u reject people)

You don't have to be particularly nice, just a no not interested is enough. You don't owe anybody a relationship or even a single date, that's absurd...

Reply 29

username1234444

Original post by Anonymous

well then what's the point of this post lol? surely everyone feels like that (personality>looks but still consider looks)

Reply 30

Anonymous #3

Original post by CatGentleman

You don't have to be particularly nice, just a no not interested is enough. You don't owe anybody a relationship or even a single date, that's absurd...

As in some people may be offended if u decide to tell them why (which u don’t have to!) so choose ur words carefully

Reply 31

Anonymous #1

Original post by username1234444

well then what's the point of this post lol? surely everyone feels like that (personality>looks but still consider looks)

Just wanted opinions honestly, I don't have many people to talk to about it, sorry I know it's very exasperating and I worry a lot.

Reply 32

vibin 777 33

Original post by Anonymous

(22F) Relationships really aren't on my radar at the moment but I do have a few guy friends and each of them have asked me out when we first met but one in particular is very persistent. Not persistent in a bad way, he's very nice and we get along great but I am not physically attracted to him in the slightest. This isn't something I could just forget because we get on so well, it would cause problems. I always feel terrible when guys (who I PERSONALLY find unattractive) ask me out and I say no, it has happened several times throughout my life and when I was a teenager I was made to feel like a horrible person by all the guys in my year for rejecting one of their friends. Am I terrible/vain for considering looks important?

What about me? Am I stuck up for only dating and having sex with China/Korea/Japanese men?

Like even if he's ugly if he's asian Im ok with it. Though I'd prefer him to be handsome or average looking

Men from other races are not sexually attractive to me. I'd rather vomit than have sex with a non asian dude. I watch too many C dramas and K dramas and KPOP and Jpop and anime all did this to me

Reply 33

username5600688

Original post by Anonymous

As in some people may be offended if u decide to tell them why (which u don’t have to!) so choose ur words carefully

So what if they are? I'd rather be told not interested than have someone pretend they care about my feelings or something.

Reply 34

Anonymous #3

Original post by CatGentleman

So what if they are? I'd rather be told not interested than have someone pretend they care about my feelings or something.

I’d rather be told a reason... I guess it’s just personal choice 🤷*♀️

Reply 35

username5600688

Original post by Anonymous

I’d rather be told a reason... I guess it’s just personal choice 🤷*♀️

Sorry not interested you are unattractive/boring/no chemistry/you stink/etc is reason enough.

Reply 36

Anonymous #3

Original post by CatGentleman

Sorry not interested you are unattractive/boring/no chemistry/you stink/etc is reason enough.

Agreed... but I think it’s a good idea to say it more tactfully than ur ugly... eg ‘I don’t feel physically attracted to u, it’s my personal taste.’

Reply 37

username5600688

Original post by Anonymous

Agreed... but I think it’s a good idea to say it more tactfully than ur ugly... eg ‘I don’t feel physically attracted to u, it’s my personal taste.’

Same thing really my point was you do not have to say ''nice'' things. Respectful and honest is enough.

Reply 38

bethwantsdeath

nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to your partner, everyone wants that. you shouldnt date someone youre not attracted to just for the sake of not looking “shallow”.