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Girl I was talking with, went out, got angry but now stares at me all the time.

Dear all,
I met a girl at the beginning of this academic year. She was really nice, interested in my conversations and would approach me often. We started to talk little by little, and when I told her I really liked to talk with her and thought she was really nice, she said the feeling was mutual. We agreed on certain "dates" which we never stated directly to be dates. Things like going to watch the stars together, etc. I think for her it should've been clear I was interested.

We went out and it was ok, and we hug at the end. After that, I had a moment of stress and I decided to stay away from her, and she noted I was avoiding her. I simply was worried I could be affected in my work because of her because I really liked her, and some other issues that came my way. We later spoke and she said that we were all cool and later demonstrated being a bit upset and said that it was really weird it took me so long to answer her messages (I was answering others, some of her friends).

Then later, she bumped into me one night just when lockdown started. She said to me that it has been weird and that we were going to talk and apologized for not talking. One of her friends had told me that she was taking drinks with one guy then, and she went with him afterwards. This guy lives near to me place so I had seen him opening the bottle they had, so it made me think he spiked the bottle, although I never said anything about this to her. Later, she was mega drunk as I saw her and the guy took her to his room.

The day after we discussed about what happened and by the end of it, in short, I told her that I loved her and that I really cared about the path she's taking as I don't think the situation that happened to her was genuine of course without saying what I saw because I don't want to be unfair, even though I was very suspicious. Later on that day she blocked me on facebook.

Shortly after, whenever I bumped into her, I was keeping my distance. Then, sometimes I'd notice she'd look at me with guilt, remorse and sad. Sometimes, when I tried to talk she'd stay silent so I picked this as she not wanting to talk. However, she'd be costantly staring at me, if we cross paths she'd pretend she hasn't seen me but at the last moment she'd look at me very indiscretly. And whenever I am around, I feel she's staring at me. Specially when when we're far away from each other, she's very obvious. When she walks with one of her friends, she'd not look at me or say hello but her friend would be checking whether I am looking at her or not. Her behaviour makes me feel very confused, I feel she cares but I don't understand why she simply doesn't unblock me or say hello properly. When she's with someone I say hello, and she says hello nowdays but I don't feel like there's a good moment in which I can talk with her again. I probably like her more now due to how much I see her staring at me and it makes me feel really confused. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
(edited 3 years ago)
Just to clarify, were you stalking her? Watching a girl have drinks with someone and go to his room is a bit weird...
No, I was outside.
Original post by Young Oldman
No, I was outside.

Watching them
Reply 4
Avatar for Foxehh
Foxehh
21
There seems to be a total lack of communication. You didnt know if you were going out on dates, you didnt know if she fancied you, you didnt tell her you fancied her, and you ignored her without mentioning you wanted a break.
She was probably weirded out over denying her actions as genuine and implying that you were stalking her or asking people information about her- two very weird things to do.

I would guess shes looking at you because you're staring at her trying to see if shes looking first. It doesnt mean anything other than that you should stop looking at her and leave her alone.
Original post by LovelyMrFox
There seems to be a total lack of communication. You didnt know if you were going out on dates, you didnt know if she fancied you, you didnt tell her you fancied her, and you ignored her without mentioning you wanted a break.
She was probably weirded out over denying her actions as genuine and implying that you were stalking her or asking people information about her- two very weird things to do.

I would guess shes looking at you because you're staring at her trying to see if shes looking first. It doesnt mean anything other than that you should stop looking at her and leave her alone.

^^^ This is what you should listen to OP
Original post by ItsStarLordMan
Watching them

No Jesus, this is very sociopathic.
Original post by Young Oldman
No Jesus, this is very sociopathic.

That's what it sounded like when reading your post
Original post by LovelyMrFox
There seems to be a total lack of communication. You didnt know if you were going out on dates, you didnt know if she fancied you, you didnt tell her you fancied her, and you ignored her without mentioning you wanted a break.
She was probably weirded out over denying her actions as genuine and implying that you were stalking her or asking people information about her- two very weird things to do.

I would guess shes looking at you because you're staring at her trying to see if shes looking first. It doesnt mean anything other than that you should stop looking at her and leave her alone.

No, I did tell her, we just never state these things as dates. She said the feeling was mutual, or marked my messages with the love reaction. ]

I honestly never look at her. I look down but you can see she turns around.
Original post by ItsStarLordMan
That's what it sounded like when reading your post

This is very agressive, you should consider not commenting if you're just gonna be a toxic person.
Reply 10
Avatar for Foxehh
Foxehh
21
Original post by Young Oldman
No, I did tell her, we just never state these things as dates. She said the feeling was mutual, or marked my messages with the love reaction. ]

I honestly never look at her. I look down but you can see she turns around.

Why didnt you mention that in your OP?

How do you know shes looking at you as opposed to something in your general direction then? She could have been just looking around her surroundings as she spoke, or turning to speak to friends.
Original post by Young Oldman
This is very agressive, you should consider not commenting if you're just gonna be a toxic person.

Sorry if you were offended. That's not at all how I meant it. I just wanted to clarify that that's not what you meant. I was not trying to be aggressive or toxic; I think you may have misinterpreted what I was saying. The other respondent also mentioned the implications of stalking, which is why I wanted to clear things up. Sorry that you took it the wrong way :smile:
Original post by LovelyMrFox
Why didnt you mention that in your OP?

How do you know shes looking at you as opposed to something in your general direction then? She could have been just looking around her surroundings as she spoke, or turning to speak to friends.

I was trying to keep things simply, this is an online forum. When we saw each other one of my friends was asking her out and she said to him she was busy when she was replying or agreeing to go out with me. This is a small place where we live so it is really hard not to bump into each other, or hear things. For example I heard two of her friends saying that she wans't sure if she wanted to see me again because she didn't want to get married yet, which I personally found very weird.

Nowdays, it is very obvious she's looking at me. Her friend checks at me when she's around and whenever she mentions her name in talks when I am there, she stares at me straight away. They seem to have this agreement that if she's there, she pretends I don't exist while her friend checks whether I look at her, so I purposely avoid looking at their direction.

Before all that happened, I sent a message to that particular friend of her apologizing for not talking to them recently and stated that I was avoiding this girl and ever since then she's checking on me when this girl is around or when she's mentioned. I never come in to talk with any of her friends if she's there.

Sometimes, she's very obvious because looks at me over and over again and I have have heard her mentioning my name when there has been any event in which I am. In NYE we were all walking as a group, and she kept looking backwards looking at me, turning her head down the road while I was chatting with someone else. Like if we cross in a small corridor, she looks at me very indiscretly by turning her head. Normally people just stare from a certain distance and then look away, she seems to wait until the last moment. My experience is that normally girls are very discreet when checking around. I just have no idea how to react, I normally feel very comfortable if she's not around but when she's there I feel the need to stay away. If we end up in a queue, I keep extra distance with her.
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by ItsStarLordMan
Sorry if you were offended. That's not at all how I meant it. I just wanted to clarify that that's not what you meant. I was not trying to be aggressive or toxic; I think you may have misinterpreted what I was saying. The other respondent also mentioned the implications of stalking, which is why I wanted to clear things up. Sorry that you took it the wrong way :smile:

Well, I am here because I have no idea what's in her mind and this is not how I have seen girls behave with me when things don't go well. Like normally they just talk with cordiality or simply there's no communication or visual contact. To be fair, when a girl acts as if I like them when I don't, I normally completely ignore them. I know I have a bad reputation here because I have been seen with many girls and I originally was worried about this rumours when I saw her. I had noted she'd walk very quickly while we were together close to where we live, but I was not sure if it was because of the rumours or if she's a fast walker as I didn't know her well at that stage.

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