The Student Room Group

Who do you think should pay on a date?

So let's say a guy and girl are dating. Who do you think should pay? Be honest. In my opinion, I would either split the bill or I'd pay for what I bought and she can pay for what she bought most of the time. In my opinion, someone that thinks that they are entitled to have the other person pay for their meal is a red flag and it shows in my opinion that they think that they are better/more privileged than you so believe you should pay. Also a lot of the time girls don't want a second date too, so if I'm paying for everything and she doesn't want a second date, my money has gone to waste and like I said I just think it says a lot about someone's personality if they expect you to always pay for them which is why I will never exclusively pay for dates unless I'm married and easily the breadwinner. I can't be with someone who doesn't see us as equals and in my opinion, those that expect you to pay for most/all of the dates believe that you aren't equals and thus believe that they are far more important than you are and that you have to pay money to deserve their time.

If I was married and I was easily the breadwinner however, I probably would pay.

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Original post by Anonymous
So let's say a guy and girl are dating. Who do you think should pay? Be honest. In my opinion, I would either split the bill or I'd pay for what I bought and she can pay for what she bought most of the time. In my opinion, someone that thinks that they are entitled to have the other person pay for their meal is a red flag and it shows in my opinion that they think that they are better/more privileged than you so believe you should pay. Also a lot of the time girls don't want a second date too, so if I'm paying for everything and she doesn't want a second date, my money has gone to waste and like I said I just think it says a lot about someone's personality if they expect you to always pay for them which is why I will never exclusively pay for dates unless I'm married and easily the breadwinner. I can't be with someone who doesn't see us as equals and in my opinion, those that expect you to pay for most/all of the dates believe that you aren't equals and thus believe that they are far more important than you are and that you have to pay money to deserve their time.

If I was married and I was easily the breadwinner however, I probably would pay.

Nobody; do a runner.
Either split, or the person who chose the place to go (as they've chosen the level of expense).
splitting sucks for me as I'm cheap so I'd end up paying for more than if I just paid for my own meal
I don't think I'm entitled to have my meal paid for me but I'm definitely not going to argue or deny the opportunity to have a free meal
I would offer to pay the meal if I was feeling nice and had the money.


don't think it's that big a deal either way
(edited 3 years ago)
Obviously the man should pay for the date. If he asks her out then he should pay for the date, it's simple courtesy I see no red flags in that. If the woman asks him out on a date, although I personally think men should do the chasing, then she pays for the date. Simple courtesy.

Yes it's true that some woman just want a free meal from it. It doesn't mean all would be like that. Men and women can be equals in a relationship even if the man pays for most of the dates, since we both have our different roles to play. That's just my opinion though.
You pay for what you ate, it’s that simple. I wouldn’t go on a date without money and I would never expect anyone to pay for me. Even if they say it’s okay we can go on a date I’ll pay, I’ll say no. I’m currently looking for a job atm so I can go on dates when lockdown ends.
I think both parties should offer to pay at least for their share.

However, if you know you're going to incur a few expenses, have one pay for one set of expenses and the other person pay for the other set.

For instance, you might go to a pub and have dinner there, but then wander off together afterwards to an ice cream shop and have dessert there. Someone pay for the pub dinner; the other pay for the ice cream and thensome.
In my opinion if I’m not sure about the person and we go on a date then I will want to split the bill however this has often been difficult as most guys offer to pay in my experience. However how I like to do things is if we go on multiple dates, we take it in turn to pay the bill. So if he gets the first date then I will get the second and this works really well in my opinion.
Reply 8
In my view enthusiastic dating is about giving little gifts. So one person could buy one thing and the other another perhaps. Splitting the bill is more like a business transaction. I think you’re going on the wrong dates if it feels like its being cynically manipulated
It depends. If it's my gf, I will pay for all our dates because I enjoy treating my loved ones.

If she wasn't my gf but rather a girl I went on a first/second/third/etc date, then whoever asked. If I ask her out, I expect to pay for the date. If she does ask me out, I expect her to pay :tongue:.
Original post by nexttime
Either split, or the person who chose the place to go (as they've chosen the level of expense).


PRSOM
Each person pays for what they’ve ordered. Simple.
i don't know how this works in the UK but here in America, its very common to see the man pay for the first date, but after that it really depends on the couple.
i’d rather pay for my own food
Anonymous #2

Obviously the man should pay for the date. If he asks her out then he should pay for the date, it's simple courtesy I see no red flags in that. If the woman asks him out on a date, although I personally think men should do the chasing, then she pays for the date. Simple courtesy.

Yes it's true that some woman just want a free meal from it. It doesn't mean all would be like that. Men and women can be equals in a relationship even if the man pays for most of the dates, since we both have our different roles to play. That's just my opinion though.


Why does he have to pay for the date "because he asked her out"?
(edited 3 years ago)
the fact that you use language of possession shows your innate misogyny
red flag
The man in most situations, since they are typically the one asking the girl out. I don't mind splitting but I'm traditional.
Original post by CatGentleman
It depends. If it's my gf, I will pay for all our dates because I enjoy treating my loved ones.

If she wasn't my gf but rather a girl I went on a first/second/third/etc date, then whoever asked. If I ask her out, I expect to pay for the date. If she does ask me out, I expect her to pay :tongue:.


When you ask your male friends to come out, do you also expect to pay for the day out too?
Reply 19
The state

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