is being monogamous outdated and old fashioned?

So... all the guys my age want to sleep with as many hot girls as possible.

I slept with one girl I met in a festival 2,5 years ago and I regret it as I only did it because I was in love with my best friend and she rejected me.

I had no feelings for the girl I slept with and even if I was emotionally available, it didn't feel good being with her (not the sex, just like...talking, texting, etc felt forced and not fun).

I don't like hookups or one night stands, I am a bit of a hypochondriac and get paranoid about STIs afterwards. I only wanna fall in love with one person once and be together for life, not have 10 failed relationships or hookups and then maybe find someone... It sounds exhausting and scary, I have been in love once and it's the most painful thing I've ever experienced when I was rejected, I don't want it to happen again, I imagine it will hurt even more if you're in love with someone and they break up with you.

Does anyone else feel like this? do your friends call you virgin (even though I am not?) or a pussy for not being a ladies' man?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

vapordave

Debate & Current Affairs Helper

Monogamy is pretty common still

😂 You are normal

Original post by Vapordave

Monogamy is pretty common still

not when youre young apparently?

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Your friends are players and f!ckboys. You are normal a lot of people only want sex with like 1 or 2 or 3 people

Reply 5

Smeraldettoi

No, I expect my partner to stay faithful to me and in turn I’m faithful to her

Reply 6

vapordave

Debate & Current Affairs Helper

Original post by Anonymous

not when youre young apparently?

I mean, people hook up but you're really not obligated to. If you feel pressured you need new friends.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Your friends are players and f!ckboys. You are normal a lot of people only want sex with like 1 or 2 or 3 people

Original post by Anonymous

😂 You are normal

Literally everyone I know doesnt want to ''settle'' down and want to ''live'' and by that they mean no strings attached relationships. Where do you guys live that you don't have these sorts of peers?

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Literally everyone I know doesnt want to ''settle'' down and want to ''live'' and by that they mean no strings attached relationships. Where do you guys live that you don't have these sorts of peers?

Most people want hookups and sex with as many hot girls. However some people don't mind just a couple of relationships.

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

omg I am literally like you! I can't believe a guy actually feels the same way loool

But yeah, deffo can't see myself sleeping with more than one person. Maybe that's stupid of me? I don't know. I haven't ever been intimate with anyone and so maybe that's why I think there will only ever be one person, but whatever

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Vapordave

I mean, people hook up but you're really not obligated to. If you feel pressured you need new friends.

I am not pressured but people find it funny and judge me for not living life or something... I was told that I wasted my teen years because I didn't have more sex??

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Literally everyone I know doesnt want to ''settle'' down and want to ''live'' and by that they mean no strings attached relationships. Where do you guys live that you don't have these sorts of peers?

Just stay monogamous that is fine

Reply 12

Mesopotamian…

Original post by Anonymous

Literally everyone I know doesnt want to ''settle'' down and want to ''live'' and by that they mean no strings attached relationships. Where do you guys live that you don't have these sorts of peers?

I’m at university and last year alone, 2 of my friends got married, so it seems like the type of people you spend time with seem to have an odd fixation with sleeping around. Most people don’t.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Mesopotamian.

I’m at university and last year alone, 2 of my friends got married, so it seems like the type of people you spend time with seem to have an odd fixation with sleeping around. Most people don’t.

I am finishing my 4th year at uni and I don't know anyone who has been married and I do not believe that it's common for people to get married at 20-21... maybe my friends are sexually liberal but your example sounds like something conservative religious people do. The youngest guy I personally know who has been married is 26, not 21 or 22.

Reply 14

Mesopotamian…

Original post by Anonymous

I don’t think it’s common but neither friend I spoke about married for religious or cultural reasons, they just felt it was the right time to marry. There are other people I know of who are married whilst at university so it’s not a one-off thing either.
Anyway, I’m also in my 4th year and never have I come across people who are obsessed with body count. People generally just do what they want.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by Mesopotamian.

I'd think it's pretty common knowledge that it's considered ''cool'' to have slept with many attractive girls and it's very lame to be a virgin or not particularly sexual. I don't think it's just my friends.

Reply 16

Mesopotamian…

Original post by Anonymous

Maybe just my circle then.

Reply 17

candydiva

Annd... who r they? R they all around u?

:wink:

LOL!

Monogamy and being a virgin even is still pretty common, we only think its not because the media has brainwashed us into thinking its the norm to have multiple partners. They're actually not even part of the majority.

And remember many other people lie about how many partners they've had.