Trouble with housemates
So I been away from my student house for awhile due to lockdown.
I get back and there's this young slavic husband and wife living in one of the rooms.
They've thrown out all of kitchen utensils that were neatly stored in the kitchen. The guy claims this was caused by a cleaner but the letting agent have told me this is unlikely.
The guy is a clean freak, and won't allow shoes in the house. He also won't allow extractor fans to be running in the house because he's up at 5am because he works 100 miles away.
It's supposed to be a student house.
He drives a BMW with a European numberplate. The neighbours hate them.
Bottom line, I feel like I'm being bullied. Him and his missus had a cosy little arrangement before I returned. IT'S A HOUSE SHARE ffs. I've struggled with my anxiety all my life, especially after my mum passed a few years ago.
My dad has told me enough is enough, I need to man up and wear shoes in the kitchen to piss him off.
I think he's right, but it's something easier said than done. I do need to face this though..
I get back and there's this young slavic husband and wife living in one of the rooms.
They've thrown out all of kitchen utensils that were neatly stored in the kitchen. The guy claims this was caused by a cleaner but the letting agent have told me this is unlikely.
The guy is a clean freak, and won't allow shoes in the house. He also won't allow extractor fans to be running in the house because he's up at 5am because he works 100 miles away.
It's supposed to be a student house.
He drives a BMW with a European numberplate. The neighbours hate them.
Bottom line, I feel like I'm being bullied. Him and his missus had a cosy little arrangement before I returned. IT'S A HOUSE SHARE ffs. I've struggled with my anxiety all my life, especially after my mum passed a few years ago.
My dad has told me enough is enough, I need to man up and wear shoes in the kitchen to piss him off.
I think he's right, but it's something easier said than done. I do need to face this though..
Scroll to see replies
As you said it’s a house share-he doesn’t get to unilaterally make the rules.
Choose your battles though-wearing a different set of “inside” shoes isn’t the worst compromise. but running extracts certainly isn’t his call to make.
I’m not entirely sure what the issue with his car is though... ?
Is it just you and the couple there or are there other flat mates?
Choose your battles though-wearing a different set of “inside” shoes isn’t the worst compromise. but running extracts certainly isn’t his call to make.
I’m not entirely sure what the issue with his car is though... ?
Is it just you and the couple there or are there other flat mates?
(edited 3 years ago)
TBH this is partly why couples generally aren't welcome in house shares, as they almost always start to take the place over as a unit.
One issue is because you've not been there they've had more time to get settled/entitled... it's like you're joining THEIR household, instead of the other way around.
Your dad is basically right, you will need to call this out one way or another... if this guy isn't a student then you shouldn't be giving a monkeys what his preferences and sleep schedule are or obeying his 'rules'
One issue is because you've not been there they've had more time to get settled/entitled... it's like you're joining THEIR household, instead of the other way around.
Your dad is basically right, you will need to call this out one way or another... if this guy isn't a student then you shouldn't be giving a monkeys what his preferences and sleep schedule are or obeying his 'rules'
First of all, is the couple living there as per the rules of the house? If it's a student house then maybe they are not allowed to live as a couple in one room and use the house for a non-student household?
Second of all, honestly it doesn't sound so bad to me! Having lived in a very rowdy student house and then later again above a neighbour who wouldn't stop blasting music at all hours of the day, this guy you live with sounds like a charm. He keeps the house clean and doesn't make a noise. Also he's out after 5am every day so you hardly run into him. Finally some peace and quiet. Sign me up!
[edit] P.S. I wouldn't pursue the path of doing stuff to piss him off just to somehow assert your dominance. Absolutely no good can come from this. I don't understand what your problem with the EU number plate is. You state that the neighbours hate them as if that says something about how you should feel about them. The kitchen utensils story is odd, though - did they replace them with new ones or can you bring in some? Student house kitchens are known for being extremely dirty so especially in COVID times I can imagine they wanted to get rid of them.
Second of all, honestly it doesn't sound so bad to me! Having lived in a very rowdy student house and then later again above a neighbour who wouldn't stop blasting music at all hours of the day, this guy you live with sounds like a charm. He keeps the house clean and doesn't make a noise. Also he's out after 5am every day so you hardly run into him. Finally some peace and quiet. Sign me up!
[edit] P.S. I wouldn't pursue the path of doing stuff to piss him off just to somehow assert your dominance. Absolutely no good can come from this. I don't understand what your problem with the EU number plate is. You state that the neighbours hate them as if that says something about how you should feel about them. The kitchen utensils story is odd, though - did they replace them with new ones or can you bring in some? Student house kitchens are known for being extremely dirty so especially in COVID times I can imagine they wanted to get rid of them.
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by just_m3
Second of all, honestly it doesn't sound so bad to me! Having lived in a very rowdy student house and then later again above a neighbour who wouldn't stop blasting music at all hours of the day, this guy you live with sounds like a charm. He keeps the house clean and doesn't make a noise. Also he's out after 5am every day so you hardly run into him. Finally some peace and quiet. Sign me up!
Being told you can't wear shoes at home? Having your stuff chucked out? Having to tiptoe at nights and get disturbed at 5am because someone is trying to treat a student house like a professionals house?
That sounds pretty bad to me. Esp considering the laughably inflated rates students pay these days
Original post by Anonymous
So I been away from my student house for awhile due to lockdown.
I get back and there's this young slavic husband and wife living in one of the rooms.
They've thrown out all of kitchen utensils that were neatly stored in the kitchen. The guy claims this was caused by a cleaner but the letting agent have told me this is unlikely.
The guy is a clean freak, and won't allow shoes in the house. He also won't allow extractor fans to be running in the house because he's up at 5am because he works 100 miles away.
It's supposed to be a student house.
He drives a BMW with a European numberplate. The neighbours hate them.
Bottom line, I feel like I'm being bullied. Him and his missus had a cosy little arrangement before I returned. IT'S A HOUSE SHARE ffs. I've struggled with my anxiety all my life, especially after my mum passed a few years ago.
My dad has told me enough is enough, I need to man up and wear shoes in the kitchen to piss him off.
I think he's right, but it's something easier said than done. I do need to face this though..
I get back and there's this young slavic husband and wife living in one of the rooms.
They've thrown out all of kitchen utensils that were neatly stored in the kitchen. The guy claims this was caused by a cleaner but the letting agent have told me this is unlikely.
The guy is a clean freak, and won't allow shoes in the house. He also won't allow extractor fans to be running in the house because he's up at 5am because he works 100 miles away.
It's supposed to be a student house.
He drives a BMW with a European numberplate. The neighbours hate them.
Bottom line, I feel like I'm being bullied. Him and his missus had a cosy little arrangement before I returned. IT'S A HOUSE SHARE ffs. I've struggled with my anxiety all my life, especially after my mum passed a few years ago.
My dad has told me enough is enough, I need to man up and wear shoes in the kitchen to piss him off.
I think he's right, but it's something easier said than done. I do need to face this though..
Hi,
Sorry to hear you're having trouble with your housemates. It's always difficult being thrown together with random people, I have experienced some difficult flatmates myself (one's that refused to do any of their share of housework etc.). I found, if people are that way inclined, annoying them will only make it worse and they become petty and do more to annoy you. So, I found it useful to talk to them directly (face to face) and ask politely what you expect of them, and listen to what they expect of you. Everything has to be within reason, but ideally, you'll come to an agreement that is half way between each of your needs.
If you're really struggling, it might be worth asking your letting agent if there is anything they can help with? After all, they should be able to help if you're not happy with your situation.
Good luck!
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Original post by Anonymous
So I been away from my student house for awhile due to lockdown.
I get back and there's this young slavic husband and wife living in one of the rooms.
They've thrown out all of kitchen utensils that were neatly stored in the kitchen. The guy claims this was caused by a cleaner but the letting agent have told me this is unlikely.
The guy is a clean freak, and won't allow shoes in the house. He also won't allow extractor fans to be running in the house because he's up at 5am because he works 100 miles away.
It's supposed to be a student house.
He drives a BMW with a European numberplate. The neighbours hate them.
Bottom line, I feel like I'm being bullied. Him and his missus had a cosy little arrangement before I returned. IT'S A HOUSE SHARE ffs. I've struggled with my anxiety all my life, especially after my mum passed a few years ago.
My dad has told me enough is enough, I need to man up and wear shoes in the kitchen to piss him off.
I think he's right, but it's something easier said than done. I do need to face this though..
I get back and there's this young slavic husband and wife living in one of the rooms.
They've thrown out all of kitchen utensils that were neatly stored in the kitchen. The guy claims this was caused by a cleaner but the letting agent have told me this is unlikely.
The guy is a clean freak, and won't allow shoes in the house. He also won't allow extractor fans to be running in the house because he's up at 5am because he works 100 miles away.
It's supposed to be a student house.
He drives a BMW with a European numberplate. The neighbours hate them.
Bottom line, I feel like I'm being bullied. Him and his missus had a cosy little arrangement before I returned. IT'S A HOUSE SHARE ffs. I've struggled with my anxiety all my life, especially after my mum passed a few years ago.
My dad has told me enough is enough, I need to man up and wear shoes in the kitchen to piss him off.
I think he's right, but it's something easier said than done. I do need to face this though..
Why didd the landlord allow non-srudents to move in? They will need to pay council tax. Is your place registered with the uni?
Original post by GabiAbi84
As you said it’s a house share-he doesn’t get to unilaterally make the rules.
Choose your battles though-wearing a different set of “inside” shoes isn’t the worst compromise. but running extracts certainly isn’t his call to make.
I’m not entirely sure what the issue with his car is though... ?
Is it just you and the couple there or are there other flat mates?
Choose your battles though-wearing a different set of “inside” shoes isn’t the worst compromise. but running extracts certainly isn’t his call to make.
I’m not entirely sure what the issue with his car is though... ?
Is it just you and the couple there or are there other flat mates?
There isn't an issue with the car, just hate to see him bombing about the place in a posh BMW.
The elderly lady next door really isn't keen on them because of rudeness also leaving bags off rubbish outside.
It's just me, on my own.
Original post by just_m3
First of all, is the couple living there as per the rules of the house? If it's a student house then maybe they are not allowed to live as a couple in one room and use the house for a non-student household?
Second of all, honestly it doesn't sound so bad to me! Having lived in a very rowdy student house and then later again above a neighbour who wouldn't stop blasting music at all hours of the day, this guy you live with sounds like a charm. He keeps the house clean and doesn't make a noise. Also he's out after 5am every day so you hardly run into him. Finally some peace and quiet. Sign me up!
[edit] P.S. I wouldn't pursue the path of doing stuff to piss him off just to somehow assert your dominance. Absolutely no good can come from this. I don't understand what your problem with the EU number plate is. You state that the neighbours hate them as if that says something about how you should feel about them. The kitchen utensils story is odd, though - did they replace them with new ones or can you bring in some? Student house kitchens are known for being extremely dirty so especially in COVID times I can imagine they wanted to get rid of them.Sorry
Second of all, honestly it doesn't sound so bad to me! Having lived in a very rowdy student house and then later again above a neighbour who wouldn't stop blasting music at all hours of the day, this guy you live with sounds like a charm. He keeps the house clean and doesn't make a noise. Also he's out after 5am every day so you hardly run into him. Finally some peace and quiet. Sign me up!
[edit] P.S. I wouldn't pursue the path of doing stuff to piss him off just to somehow assert your dominance. Absolutely no good can come from this. I don't understand what your problem with the EU number plate is. You state that the neighbours hate them as if that says something about how you should feel about them. The kitchen utensils story is odd, though - did they replace them with new ones or can you bring in some? Student house kitchens are known for being extremely dirty so especially in COVID times I can imagine they wanted to get rid of them.Sorry
Sorry for the late reply.
Be bullied and bossed about is horrible. He threw 200 quid's worth of my stuff out.
I am not allowed to use my own kitchen past 10pm.
Original post by Muttley79
Why didd the landlord allow non-srudents to move in? They will need to pay council tax. Is your place registered with the uni?
Sorry for the late reply.
No, it's a letting agency.
Original post by StriderHort
Being told you can't wear shoes at home? Having your stuff chucked out? Having to tiptoe at nights and get disturbed at 5am because someone is trying to treat a student house like a professionals house?
That sounds pretty bad to me. Esp considering the laughably inflated rates students pay these days
That sounds pretty bad to me. Esp considering the laughably inflated rates students pay these days
I basically hardly spend any time in the house. He goes to work a 5, I then get maybe get some food. I make sure I'm out of the house before he returns and I won't return to the house until 11. I can't cook in the house because he wants to knock all the downstairs lights off at the fusebox.
I really dunno what to do. My dad has basically had enough of me, so we've stopped speaking. I feel guilty that I'm letting my father down by not standing up to this bloke.
Original post by Anonymous
There isn't an issue with the car, just hate to see him bombing about the place in a posh BMW.
The elderly lady next door really isn't keen on them because of rudeness also leaving bags off rubbish outside.
It's just me, on my own.
The elderly lady next door really isn't keen on them because of rudeness also leaving bags off rubbish outside.
It's just me, on my own.
Sorry but the type of car he drives has absolutely no bearing on this and doesn’t really make your case more sympathetic.
Original post by GabiAbi84
Sorry but the type of car he drives has absolutely no bearing on this and doesn’t really make your case more sympathetic.
True.
Original post by Anonymous
I can't cook in the house because he wants to knock all the downstairs lights off at the fusebox.
What?
Original post by Kerzen
What?
Because there's a fan going in one of the empty rooms (locked).
Original post by Anonymous
Because there's a fan going in one of the empty rooms (locked).
How is that related to "he wants to knock all the downstairs lights off at the fusebox."?
Why can't the landlord go into the empty room and turn off the fan?
Original post by Kerzen
How is that related to "he wants to knock all the downstairs lights off at the fusebox."?
Why can't the landlord go into the empty room and turn off the fan
Why can't the landlord go into the empty room and turn off the fan
The fan must be on the same circuit as the lights.
Idk. Is it my job to get the landlord in? I've already mentioned this the letting agent already.
Original post by Anonymous
The fan must be on the same circuit as the lights.
Idk. Is it my job to get the landlord in? I've already mentioned this the letting agent already.
Idk. Is it my job to get the landlord in? I've already mentioned this the letting agent already.
I would send the letting agent an e-mail and say that you would like someone to use their keys to go into the room and turn the fan off either this week or next.
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry for the late reply.
No, it's a letting agency.
No, it's a letting agency.
Complain to them - if it is a student house they had no right to lt it to them. It might be worth contacting your local CAB
Original post by Muttley79
Complain to them - if it is a student house they had no right to lt it to them. It might be worth contacting your local CAB
I've complained over and over.
The letting agent just doesn't seem to care. It's like every time we have the conversation, it's forgotten.
I even told the agent I didn't feel safe in the property; I felt violated after my stuff was all thrown out.
I asked to be moved to a new house. Again, never heard anything back.
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