ladies how should us gents message you on online dating or insta dm's

I want tips how to stand out instead of being ignored. Thanks

Don't say the same boring stuff as all the other guys.

Your response to her should depend on the nature of her response to you.

You can treat it scientifically. Come up with different messages and try them randomly on different women and see which get the highest response rates and response quality.

Negative sounding responses from women can sometimes be turned around.

Don't take any of it too seriously.

The goal is to meet them in real life. It's not to be their penfriend. Or to give them job interview.

And make sure you have the basics sorted, such as professional looking photos on your profile. Plus profile text that's not boring and sells you to your desired market whilst possibly alienating your non desired market.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

Don't say the same boring stuff as all the other guys.

Your response to her should depend on the nature of her response to you.

You can treat it scientifically. Come up with different messages and try them randomly on different women and see which get the highest response rates and response quality.

Negative sounding responses from women can sometimes be turned around.

Don't take any of it too seriously.

The goal is to meet them in real life. It's not to be their penfriend. Or to give them job interview.

And make sure you have the basics sorted, such as professional looking photos on your profile. Plus profile text that's not boring and sells you to your desired market whilst possibly alienating your non desired market.

Thank you im guessing your implying it doesnt matter what I say as long as I meet them in real life and that's where it begins right?

Reply 3

Dunnig Kruger

16

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you im guessing your implying it doesnt matter what I say as long as I meet them in real life and that's where it begins right?

For a given set of profile photos, saying the right sort of things in the right sorts of ways will make some difference as to how many meet you in real life.

And yes the real life meeting is where it all begins.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

For a given set of profile photos, saying the right sort of things in the right sorts of ways will make some difference as to how many meet you in real life.

And yes the real life meeting is where it all begins.

should i message her less until we meet and when we do meet do you have any tips how to make it a success

Reply 5

Dunnig Kruger

16

There are entire training courses on Youtube for this sort of thing. And then it's a case of going ahead and doing it and developing your own style.

I think that on the whole you will do fine. Because you're eager to learn and have an open mind.

Reply 6

TJ1997

18

Knowing them somewhat or having things in common/making a comment about a story they've posted usually goes a long way. Otherwise you stand a good chance (especially with a dry opener/bad profile) of being blocked, ignored or getting a polite response only to have your second or third message left on read and merely 'liked'...

Reply 7

ANM775

20

Original post by Anonymous

I want tips how to stand out instead of being ignored. Thanks

To a large degree it doesn't matter what you say on online dating sites. If she finds you fairly attractive she'll reply to literally anything, if she doesn't find you fairly attractive she'll ignore literally anything..

There's been many a online dating experiments to confirm this.

The reason why you are being ignored is because the women you are messaging do not find you attractive enough

Don't feel bad though, you're probably not below average, you're just not "hot"

mans not hot.

/simples

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 8