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Black Girls

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough as a black girl, no one ever seems to want to associate with you, either platonically or romantically, I just feel so numb. I have so much trauma, so many memories of trying to fit in, being bullied for my hair, my skin colour, so many micro-aggressions and I’m really exhausted mentally, crying myself to sleep just doesn’t cut it anymore because it doesn’t change anything, on top of that the gaslighting I get when I speak on the issues I go through, it’s like I’m forced to suffer in silence and I just want someone to talk to. I just feel like every aspect of my life is such a sham, I always try to be the best in everything I do to make up for every other imperfection I have and it still doesn’t satisfy me, sometimes I just give up, sometimes I procrastinate, sometimes I just don’t care anymore and it’s to the point where I literally just feel nothing. Every single day is a drag, a walk in a never ending path that I feel the destination is no where to be seen. I always wish to be someone, someone other than me, I wish I was actually pretty, I dream about scenarios that will never happen, I silently love people who I doubt would ever like me back, I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me”. There’s so much more I wanna say, and I just feel like no one understands or will ever understand, because I get gaslit every single time. I honestly don’t know what to do, this is basically just a cry for help because I’m actually just so tired. Can anyone relate with me?

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Reply 1
Avatar for majg_786
majg_786
8
omgg nooo dont suffer plsss. im a brown boy so no i canr relate but I can understand u in some bits. when u say gaslighting du mean... i saw that in ginny and georgia
Original post by Anonymous
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough as a black girl, no one ever seems to want to associate with you, either platonically or romantically, I just feel so numb. I have so much trauma, so many memories of trying to fit in, being bullied for my hair, my skin colour, so many micro-aggressions and I’m really exhausted mentally, crying myself to sleep just doesn’t cut it anymore because it doesn’t change anything, on top of that the gaslighting I get when I speak on the issues I go through, it’s like I’m forced to suffer in silence and I just want someone to talk to. I just feel like every aspect of my life is such a sham, I always try to be the best in everything I do to make up for every other imperfection I have and it still doesn’t satisfy me, sometimes I just give up, sometimes I procrastinate, sometimes I just don’t care anymore and it’s to the point where I literally just feel nothing. Every single day is a drag, a walk in a never ending path that I feel the destination is no where to be seen. I always wish to be someone, someone other than me, I wish I was actually pretty, I dream about scenarios that will never happen, I silently love people who I doubt would ever like me back, I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me”. There’s so much more I wanna say, and I just feel like no one understands or will ever understand, because I get gaslit every single time. I honestly don’t know what to do, this is basically just a cry for help because I’m actually just so tired. Can anyone relate with me?


Why do you feel that you're not good enough?
If you wanna talk, I'll be here for you :hugs: just PM me :h:
Original post by Anonymous
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough as a black girl, no one ever seems to want to associate with you, either platonically or romantically, I just feel so numb. I have so much trauma, so many memories of trying to fit in, being bullied for my hair, my skin colour, so many micro-aggressions and I’m really exhausted mentally, crying myself to sleep just doesn’t cut it anymore because it doesn’t change anything, on top of that the gaslighting I get when I speak on the issues I go through, it’s like I’m forced to suffer in silence and I just want someone to talk to. I just feel like every aspect of my life is such a sham, I always try to be the best in everything I do to make up for every other imperfection I have and it still doesn’t satisfy me, sometimes I just give up, sometimes I procrastinate, sometimes I just don’t care anymore and it’s to the point where I literally just feel nothing. Every single day is a drag, a walk in a never ending path that I feel the destination is no where to be seen. I always wish to be someone, someone other than me, I wish I was actually pretty, I dream about scenarios that will never happen, I silently love people who I doubt would ever like me back, I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me”. There’s so much more I wanna say, and I just feel like no one understands or will ever understand, because I get gaslit every single time. I honestly don’t know what to do, this is basically just a cry for help because I’m actually just so tired. Can anyone relate with me?

Yes. Yes I can. Pm me.
(edited 3 years ago)
Reply 4
Avatar for quack456
quack456
2
Original post by candydiva
Wow u r feeling low! Master loves black girls he always has such a thing for them coz he says they r warm friendly fun open and v sexy...just the opposite of wat u say u hear :frown:

what are you on about?
Reply 5
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Wannabevetnurse
Why do you feel that you're not good enough?
If you wanna talk, I'll be here for you :hugs: just PM me :h:


I’m very observant, I see what people talk about, I see how society views me, I know the connotations that are attached to my identity; hyper-masculine, angry black woman, nappy-haired, bald-headed, gorilla etc. It’s like, there’s nothing positive attached to my black identity, unlike model minorities such as Asians, even though their stereotypes are harmful too, some of them are positive, I.e, they’re “smart”, etc etc. I love my hair, but sometimes it really angers me, like why did God have to give me 4c hair, to make me struggle? For it not to blow in the wind? I have my good days and bad days with my hair, I try to make myself think I’m just fine the way I am but I deeply just hate it. I used to try and assimilate and relax my hair but it still didn’t give me the satisfaction I was hoping for and just ended up damaging my hair. I see so many people who have everything going for them, they’re young, super smart etc. Growing up it really killed me watching all my (white) friends get into relationships and have boys desire them, no one ever felt that way towards me and I convinced myself I wasn’t desirable and that I never would be and I used to care so much about my looks, in the efforts of attracting attention from you know who but it’d never work so now I’ve just given up, I just don’t care anymore. And I feel like even if I do heal, I’ll still have that trauma and this mindset in the back of my mind.
Original post by Oceanwater
Yes. Yes I can. Pm me.


I’ll PM you both soon.
Original post by quack456
what are you on about?

Xactly wat I said above.
Original post by candydiva
Wow u r feeling low! Master loves black girls he always has such a thing for them coz he says they r warm friendly fun open and v sexy...just the opposite of wat u say u hear :frown:

this isn't as helpful as you think. black women and other woc are often reduced to what they can offer sexually. this kind of rhetoric perpetuates exactly what harms people like this woman.

i'd also avoid saying this sort of thing when you don't know how old OP is
(edited 3 years ago)
Unfortunately, most of what you said is true.

How old are you?
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by candydiva
Wow u r feeling low! Master loves black girls he always has such a thing for them coz he says they r warm friendly fun open and v sexy...just the opposite of wat u say u hear :frown:



You keep relating everything as if your so called “master” is above everyone in all your posts, they aren’t very helpful and representative. Besides, OP wanted someone to relate, not to be comforted.
Original post by Anonymous
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough as a black girl, no one ever seems to want to associate with you, either platonically or romantically, I just feel so numb. I have so much trauma, so many memories of trying to fit in, being bullied for my hair, my skin colour, so many micro-aggressions and I’m really exhausted mentally, crying myself to sleep just doesn’t cut it anymore because it doesn’t change anything, on top of that the gaslighting I get when I speak on the issues I go through, it’s like I’m forced to suffer in silence and I just want someone to talk to. I just feel like every aspect of my life is such a sham, I always try to be the best in everything I do to make up for every other imperfection I have and it still doesn’t satisfy me, sometimes I just give up, sometimes I procrastinate, sometimes I just don’t care anymore and it’s to the point where I literally just feel nothing. Every single day is a drag, a walk in a never ending path that I feel the destination is no where to be seen. I always wish to be someone, someone other than me, I wish I was actually pretty, I dream about scenarios that will never happen, I silently love people who I doubt would ever like me back, I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me”. There’s so much more I wanna say, and I just feel like no one understands or will ever understand, because I get gaslit every single time. I honestly don’t know what to do, this is basically just a cry for help because I’m actually just so tired. Can anyone relate with me?

I relate with you, i never feel like i fit in either. Even among other black people its as though i'm seen not to be trusted, angry, or just looked down upon and in a situation like that it seems like theres hardly anyone who will accept me other than my family. The worst thing is, experiencing things like that really does make me angry sometimes and thats how some people become the stereotypical angry girl.
Original post by gremlin :>
this isn't as helpful as you think. black women and other woc are often reduced to what they can offer sexually. this kind of rhetoric perpetuates exactly what harms people like this woman.

i'd also avoid saying this sort of thing when you don't know how old OP is

May I ask y are speaking on behalf of OP here? Coz romantic/sexual appeal is not absent among OP's concerns. She said " I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me.” OP can say herself instead of having her conversations "managed" by a well-meaning but patronizing third party without her consent... in the US that's xactly one of the aspects of institutionalized colonialism that BLM are protesting :mad:

I believe black (or other) ppl can speak for themselves without ur intervention....

Now about the aspect of reductionism of the appeal of black women to sex which OP hasn't said but u did..... there was nothing reductive in wat master said on this topic although I'm paraphrasing so prolly it's coming over as limited. Anyway he lived in Bham years ago in a student community that was primarily black and Asian he was the token white boy who lived there actually coz he was broke. He said the black families were rlly good to him and so was Nasim in the corner store below. He said the black girls were more open and friendly and approachable as well as sexy. He said they were honest with him about wat they wanted and he came to appreciate and respect their openness. They also liked it that he was smart and driven and respectful to them. He also discovered he loved the way they xpressed their sexuality coz it was consistent with their overall character. Later when he moved he decided he had been conditioned to prefer black girls coz of the overall quality of his xperiences with them and to this day he always wants to like and believe the best about black girls. So it's lucky for him he found another fun one lol!
Original post by candydiva
May I ask y are speaking on behalf of OP here? Coz romantic/sexual appeal is not absent among OP's concerns. She said " I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me.” OP can say herself instead of having her conversations "managed" by a well-meaning but patronizing third party without her consent... in the US that's xactly one of the aspects of institutionalized colonialism that BLM are protesting :mad:

I believe black (or other) ppl can speak for themselves without ur intervention....

Now about the aspect of reductionism of the appeal of black women to sex which OP hasn't said but u did..... there was nothing reductive in wat master said on this topic although I'm paraphrasing so prolly it's coming over as limited. Anyway he lived in Bham years ago in a student community that was primarily black and Asian he was the token white boy who lived there actually coz he was broke. He said the black families were rlly good to him and so was Nasim in the corner store below. He said the black girls were more open and friendly and approachable as well as sexy. He said they were honest with him about wat they wanted and he came to appreciate and respect their openness. They also liked it that he was smart and driven and respectful to them. He also discovered he loved the way they xpressed their sexuality coz it was consistent with their overall character. Later when he moved he decided he had been conditioned to prefer black girls coz of the overall quality of his xperiences with them and to this day he always wants to like and believe the best about black girls. So it's lucky for him he found another fun one lol!



You are literally said don’t use third parties but you then begin to include opinions from your master???
Original post by candydiva
May I ask y are speaking on behalf of OP here? Coz romantic/sexual appeal is not absent among OP's concerns. She said " I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me.” OP can say herself instead of having her conversations "managed" by a well-meaning but patronizing third party without her consent... in the US that's xactly one of the aspects of institutionalized colonialism that BLM are protesting :mad:

I believe black (or other) ppl can speak for themselves without ur intervention....

Now about the aspect of reductionism of the appeal of black women to sex which OP hasn't said but u did..... there was nothing reductive in wat master said on this topic although I'm paraphrasing so prolly it's coming over as limited. Anyway he lived in Bham years ago in a student community that was primarily black and Asian he was the token white boy who lived there actually coz he was broke. He said the black families were rlly good to him and so was Nasim in the corner store below. He said the black girls were more open and friendly and approachable as well as sexy. He said they were honest with him about wat they wanted and he came to appreciate and respect their openness. They also liked it that he was smart and driven and respectful to them. He also discovered he loved the way they xpressed their sexuality coz it was consistent with their overall character. Later when he moved he decided he had been conditioned to prefer black girls coz of the overall quality of his xperiences with them and to this day he always wants to like and believe the best about black girls. So it's lucky for him he found another fun one lol!

your post got removed so i guess you're wrong :heart:
Original post by candydiva
May I ask y are speaking on behalf of OP here? Coz romantic/sexual appeal is not absent among OP's concerns. She said " I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me.” OP can say herself instead of having her conversations "managed" by a well-meaning but patronizing third party without her consent... in the US that's xactly one of the aspects of institutionalized colonialism that BLM are protesting :mad:

I believe black (or other) ppl can speak for themselves without ur intervention....

Now about the aspect of reductionism of the appeal of black women to sex which OP hasn't said but u did..... there was nothing reductive in wat master said on this topic although I'm paraphrasing so prolly it's coming over as limited. Anyway he lived in Bham years ago in a student community that was primarily black and Asian he was the token white boy who lived there actually coz he was broke. He said the black families were rlly good to him and so was Nasim in the corner store below. He said the black girls were more open and friendly and approachable as well as sexy. He said they were honest with him about wat they wanted and he came to appreciate and respect their openness. They also liked it that he was smart and driven and respectful to them. He also discovered he loved the way they xpressed their sexuality coz it was consistent with their overall character. Later when he moved he decided he had been conditioned to prefer black girls coz of the overall quality of his xperiences with them and to this day he always wants to like and believe the best about black girls. So it's lucky for him he found another fun one lol!

Nobody cares about your master other than you :no:
Yep being called aggressive just for speaking my opinion, being painted as the angry black girl. I’ve heard racist comments thrown at me when I was as little as 9 years old and I used to feel so ugly and I always seeking validation from other races. It doesn’t feel nice at all... but now I’m 20, and I love myself. And I don’t seek validation from others. It’s sad we are still being treated this way. I know how you feel :hugs: I wish I can live in a world where skin colour didn’t matter.
Girl,
First things first, I can relate. You sound like me a few years ago, but I can say that I've grown. Second, I want you to remeber that being black is a blessing and being a black WOMAN is a PRIVALLGE! You use that yo your advantange, because you're beautiful! Third, My door is always open if you ever need anything, I"m here.
With love
Your sister,
Gigi :smile:
i feel like theres a view that all black girls act in the same way and now it just has to be our job to change peoples minds because they're ignorant :/
Original post by Anonymous
i feel like theres a view that all black girls act in the same way and now it just has to be our job to change peoples minds because they're ignorant :/

I agree, and I also feel like lightskinned girls aren't always included in the "angry black woman" stigma, because ignorant people think they aren't really black.
anyway hiya i'm not black but i am a woc too. what you experience is very real and very distressing.

also 4c hair is beautiful!! i just bet it's really hard to take care of. i have textured hair as well. definitely take some time trying to figure out ways to style your natural hair. you'll get to develop some pride in it which'll snowball into self-love, and the validation from others will matter less and the comparisons to others will slow down.

that's what worked for me, i did something similar for my skin too so i could love my skin colour as well - stuff like trying out all sorts of differently coloured clothing to see what looked best on me. just remember, you're very pretty, very smart and very capable. there are barriers in your way for sure, there's no debating that. but you can still absolutely achieve great things and be surrounded by love and people that matter. there's always a place for you in this world.

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