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Do you think this was handled badly

I am a timid person and I usually dont talk much but i dont like people who are aggressive towards me. I have a long history of being late to secondary school because i was unhappy going there. One day i unexpectedly had a fight with another black girl in science class.

It was one of those boring science lessons where you must make a poster about what you've learned, hardly anyone cared to complete the task and just messed about. I would rather get the work done then chill for the rest of the lesson because the teacher would bug me about work even if everyone else was on their phone watching youtube.
There happens to be another black girl next to me that didnt sit there talking her head off to another girl, never spoke to her before so i didnt care about her other than the fact she had taken the entire supply of paper to do posters on just so she can make doodles. I just took one while she wasnt at her seat because there was no where else to get paper and she didnt need 200 pieces of paper like wtf. The other black girl noticed and told her when she came back, again i did not care...till she decided to call me a b****. Of course i reacted and tossed her stuff to the ground and i vaguely remember also tossing her book off the desk knocking over her pens and pencils like bowling pins but idk why she sat next to me in the first place. The girl didnt know what to do other than grab my hair so naturally i grabbed hers then eventually we are both on the floor in a cat fight and theres people screaming.

2 minutes later we were separated and i was dragged into the back room to talk to some lady that comes to deal with fights and she was vaguely told the situation because she wasnt there. I saw her frequently because i was frequently late so she didnt like me. She asked me for my story so i told her everything then asked me why i was hitting her so i asked her what she meant and she said "you should have just blocked her attacks" (as if i was expecting the girl to grab my hair like an animal and start a fight over paper). I told her i dont know how to dodge because really i dont know how to dodge someone right next to me grabbing my hair. But she continually said i should have blocked or dodged and she expected me to just take her hits without hitting her back.

I pleaded that i was just doing my work until this girl bothered me and grabbed my hair over one sheet of paper but all she did was ignore me and repeatedly ask me if i threw a book. I had tossed a book but as i confused and upset as i was i didnt see that she was asking me if i hit her first. She asked me over and over so i said yes because i was just confused why that mattered. But honestly it would make no sense for me to throw a book at someone who sat right me, i would have just slammed her face. Of course that wasnt questioned because she wasnt there and just wanted it over and done with. After that we got the same punishment and we even had to be in the same room as her.

Every single year after people would ask why that fight started and all i could say that she was angry over a sheet of paper. They wouldnt understand and i honestly dont know either. Shes was too full of her self.

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I think it is right that you both got the same punishment.

Why did you feel the need to mention race here, btw?!
(edited 3 years ago)
Reply 2
Every single year? How long ago did this hapen?

Yes, you and the other girl handled it badly. You could have spoken with the teacher about the paper or the name-calling instead of escalating it by knocking things off the desk...
Reply 3
I was talking about the teacher who came handling it badly. Obviously the science teacher wasnt present for there to even be alternatives.
Reply 4
Original post by black tea
I think it is right that you both got the same punishment.

Why did you feel the need to mention race here, btw?!

If there is the slightest reason for the teacher to not care about the situation because they just see it as two black girls fighting then i think it should be mentioned because shes middle-aged and caucasian.
Original post by Anonymous
I was talking about the teacher who came handling it badly. Obviously the science teacher wasnt present for there to even be alternatives.

We can't really judge, we weren't there.
Original post by Anonymous
If there is the slightest reason for the teacher to not care about the situation because they just see it as two black girls fighting then i think it should be mentioned because shes middle-aged and caucasian.

So what that she is middle aged and caucasian? Why is two black girls fighting any different to two white or asian girls fighting?
(edited 3 years ago)
Why does the fact that you’re both black matter? Why are you saying it so many times? It makes this sound fake.

Also you acted inappropriately with throwing stuff at her and being late to school just because you don’t like it. Almost no one likes it but still turn up on time.
Reply 8
Did this happen in the US?
Reply 9
Original post by black tea
So what that she is middle aged and caucasian? Why is two black girls fighting any different to two whiter asian girls fighting?

Thats...painfully obviously. You dont know at all what im insinuating?
Original post by Surnia
Every single year? How long ago did this hapen?

Yes, you and the other girl handled it badly. You could have spoken with the teacher about the paper or the name-calling instead of escalating it by knocking things off the desk...

Btw be honest. If someone called you a b**** you are just going to run to the teacher and say someone called you the b-word? That sounds like im 10
Original post by Anonymous
Thats...painfully obviously. You dont know at all what im insinuating?

You are insinuating that she was being racist. I don't see any evidence of that in what you have written. Are you suggesting she would have told a white girl to hit back instead of dodging? I assure you she wouldn't have...

You sound like someone who is upset about getting punished, and that's fair enough, but you were involved in a fight just like the other girl so it's totally right that both of you got the same punishment.
Original post by black tea
We can't really judge, we weren't there.


:colonhash: you just did before i told you the teacher wasnt present
Original post by Anonymous
:colonhash: you just did before i told you the teacher wasnt present

I just said it was fair that both of you got the same punishment because that is a deduction I can make based on the fact that both of you were involved in a fight.
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by black tea
You are insinuating that she was being racist. I don't see any evidence of that in what you have written. Are you suggesting she would have told a white girl to hit back instead of dodging? I assure you she wouldn't have...

You sound like someone who is upset about getting punished, and that's fair enough, but you were involved in a fight just like the other girl so it's totally right that both of you got the same punishment.

No. That is not what i'm saying. Now i see now that your minor post saying that you cant judge because you werent there was completely false because here you are making more assumptions to judge me. What i WAS insinuating was that this woman only viewed us as two angry black girls (which is obviously the stereotype) and for that reason, didnt care about as to what actually began the fight and was only looking to punish us both ignoring circumstances which would explain why she repeatedly gave me those questions. But even if she was racist, just like you said earlier, you wouldnt be able to tell because you wasnt there yet here you are telling me this.
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
Btw be honest. If someone called you a b**** you are just going to run to the teacher and say someone called you the b-word? That sounds like im 10

How old do you think you sound when your reaction is to push stuff off a desk?
Original post by Anonymous
No. That is not what i'm saying. Now i see now that your minor post saying that you cant judge because you werent there was completely false because here you are making more assumptions to judge me. What i WAS insinuating was that this woman only viewed us as two angry black girls (which is obviously the stereotype) and for that reason, didnt care about as to what actually began the fight and was only looking to punish us both ignoring circumstances which would explain why she repeatedly gave me those questions. But even if she was racist, just like you said earlier, you wouldnt be able to tell because you wasnt there yet here you are telling me this.


I disagree. Generally teachers don’t care what lead up to it if both had a part. You didn’t stop the fight by walking away or anything, you threw things at another person! Of course you deserve the punishment and so does she. You have no right to complain in this.
Original post by Anonymous
No. That is not what i'm saying. Now i see now that your minor post saying that you cant judge because you werent there was completely false because here you are making more assumptions to judge me. What i WAS insinuating was that this woman only viewed us as two angry black girls (which is obviously the stereotype) and for that reason, didnt care about as to what actually began the fight and was only looking to punish us both ignoring circumstances which would explain why she repeatedly gave me those questions. But even if she was racist, just like you said earlier, you wouldnt be able to tell because you wasnt there yet here you are telling me this.

In my experience, teachers usually don't care what led to a fight regardless of the race of the students involved :rolleyes:
Original post by black tea
In my experience, teachers usually don't care what led to a fight regardless of the race of the students involved :rolleyes:

...that would be great if your experiences were universal, however, its hard to say that is the case since not everyone has the same teachers or goes to the same school :sigh:. But if it was the case then at least we can say it's fair treatment but its still handling things badly.
Original post by Anonymous
...that would be great if your experiences were universal, however, its hard to say that is the case since not everyone has the same teachers or goes to the same school :sigh:. But if it was the case then at least we can say it's fair treatment but its still handling things badly.


It’s fair treatment full stop. You participated in a fight. Technically you started the fight because you stole paper rather then asked the teacher for more or taken some lined paper from one of your books. There was no racism, stop looking for special treatment in this situation you did wrong and got fair punishment.

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