Dealing with not going to a top university

I've posted about this before, however recently thought more about it.

How do you deal with not going to your dream and top university? I got pretty average GCSEs, with 4s and 5s, which restricted me from going to University of Birmingham. This was caused by many factors, mainly lack of motivation. My initial degree I wanted to do was Medicine, however that quickly changed in Year 9 when I saw how I was doing in my GCSEs.

I now have gotten into Aston University to do IT, which, while IT is something I enjoy, I do feel really out of place and limited in what I can do, especially since all my friends are applying to or have the potential to go to a top university (Oxbridge, Bham, Warwick, Manchester etc)

My family have said taking a gap year will be totally wasted, even if I was going to retake my GCSEs. I have even explored the prospect of moving abroad and learning my religion more, as well as doing a degree program alongside.

Any advice? I feel really lost and not sure how to go about things. I just feel like I won't be entirely happy with Aston Uni, as it isn't where I wanted to go.

Doing a course you don’t want to at a university you don’t want to be at will be an even bigger waste, believe me. If it’s too late to apply again this year, and you know where you want to go, apply again next year before it’s too late

The university is the only issue, as I said I do like IT, however of course it isn't my first/dream choice. I just feel like I am restricting myself and there is really nothing I can do about it. There are options such as retakes along with taking a whole other A level to get into Computer Science which is similar to IT. I feel that something health related at one of the top universities is out of reach due to the grade requirements.

For Medicine have you looked at foundation programmes? They have lower entry requirements and are meant to be more accessible. Some uni’s for certain courses don’t accept retakes as A-Levels so be aware of that. Don’t settle at this stage in your life, you still have so many options open to you, and don’t compare yourself to others, they weren’t in your situation so it’s not fair on yourself. I used to obsess over prestigious universities, especially since others in my school were all applying there, but now that I’m in uni it doesn’t matter nearly as much as whether you’ll be happy at the uni and you like the environment, people, etc.. Remember you’ll be spending money and time wherever you’ll go so be wise about it

I did consider it, however was limited by my school and family, who were all suggesting to go with the second choice as it'd be too much effort.

Settling now seems like something I am being forced to do by family and school. I'm sure that once I go there I'll realize that it isn't so bad, but I know I won't be truly happy at Aston.

There's a BCC foundation medicine course that I know of that's a gateway. Don't lock yourself into a career you won't want.

In ten years' time, what do you see yourself doing?

If all options were available, what kind of job do you think would make you happy?

That is something that needs serious figuring out, however I can't take a gap year, as my family don't want me to waste it, although I said I want to do various things during it such as learning a language etc maybe even exploring an avenue I wanted to go down, which was learning more about my religion, and maybe even some more work experience. They just think I should go into IT because it's my 'passion', as labelled by them. It sucks being put down like that.

Honestly if all options were available it would definitely be in health, maybe medicine. This is mainly due to the fact that my family all work or have worked in the health sector.

That is something that needs serious figuring out, however I can't take a gap year, as my family don't want me to waste it, although I said I want to do various things during it such as learning a language etc maybe even exploring an avenue I wanted to go down, which was learning more about my religion, and maybe even some more work experience. They just think I should go into IT because it's my 'passion', as labelled by them. It sucks being put down like that.

Honestly if all options were available it would definitely be in health, maybe medicine. This is mainly due to the fact that my family all work or have worked in the health sector.

If it's at all possible, get your family to stop interfering. It seems they don't understand what you want or what you care about. Search for medicine gateway courses, you don't need good A-levels for those, work your arse off in one of them, there are some in Birmingham I think, and get into med. Easier said than done, but it's possible

If your hope is for a career in healthcare, why opt for a degree in IT? To be honest, if your heart isn't in it, this could limit how well you do in your degree and you could find it difficult to make inroads with employers afterwards.

Would it perhaps be better to release that space for an IT degree for someone else to take while you reformulate your plans?

That is something that needs serious figuring out, however I can't take a gap year, as my family don't want me to waste it, although I said I want to do various things during it such as learning a language etc maybe even exploring an avenue I wanted to go down, which was learning more about my religion, and maybe even some more work experience. They just think I should go into IT because it's my 'passion', as labelled by them. It sucks being put down like that.

Honestly if all options were available it would definitely be in health, maybe medicine. This is mainly due to the fact that my family all work or have worked in the health sector.

So sorry to hear that everything's not going as you'd like to have hoped for. If I could chime in on this situation, I'd say you are at point in life where decisions do matter a lot and everything is serious from this moment (unfair for your age but it's how the system is set up).

If you are truly passionate about medicine after doing the necessary pre-checks such as work experience, talks with doctors/books etc. then I do think you should consider that route even at this stage. I'm a grad who chose to switch to medicine and in total I probably have like 3 gap years (for different reasons) but I've finally arrived at what I want to start to do; however, this was by no means an easy choice as getting into medicine is even harder as a graduate and there's barely any financial support from the government so a gap year for you will definitely save so much more time and money if you work on your application and overall self.

Noone will ever know what you want aside from you. Please don't put what your family has to say over your own wants and priorities in life. My family was initially not supportive of my sudden career change but they understand it now.

I wish I had someone tell me this when I was at your stage, but I'd say pick a degree which you know will help you get a job/career you want to do, not because you necessary just enjoy the subject. It's a harsh reality but we do need to be a bit realistic as the jobs in IT might not be the same as studying IT (or if you do enjoy the jobs after the IT degree, then great!). Research is crucial at this stage and it helps avoid what I did (I picked a subject that I liked to study but as time passed, I realised I'm not so certain on the career and work at the end of it).

This is why I'm talking about the prospect and just dealing with it and settling for IT, as I can't do much else about it.

Of course you can, you're not a child.

Can you give a list of all the qualifications you have, both GCSEs and A Levels?