Survey of guys who can’t get dates vs those successful with ladies

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Reading through here there’s literally hundreds of threads on guys not being able to get a girlfriend or stuck in friend zone. So I’m starting a survey.

For those who seem to think they can’t get dates or a girlfriend - what have you tried? And how many times have you been rejected?

For those who always get the ladies, what do you think is the secret to your success? And how many times have you been rejected?
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Slx.24
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#2
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Uhh
Looks is more important than all these ppl you see say. Also don't really be so invested in making a relationship from the start just take it easy and if it starts going that way and you want it to go that way then all good.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Slx.24)
Uhh
Looks is more important than all these ppl you see say. Also don't really be so invested in making a relationship from the start just take it easy and if it starts going that way and you want it to go that way then all good.
So you think it should just happen if you both want it? Almost effortlessly?
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Anonymous #2
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There are no secrets, even successful tips don't work for all guys. You have to make the best of what you got.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There are no secrets, even successful tips don't work for all guys. You have to make the best of what you got.
How is it that there’s guys who can literally do nothing and get date after date after date whereas other guys try everything and can’t get a single date. It seems like a very unbalanced economy to me a bit like the actual economy. I guess that’s just how it is.
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Dunnig Kruger
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There's a huge middle ground between not being able / struggling to get a girlfriend and always getting the ladies.

And I don't think there's any man on Earth that always gets a woman when he's looking for one.

And I would argue that a man that has only a few women in his life, where he tends to get into long term relationships is just as successful, if not more so, with women than someone that has lots of shorter term flings.

There is, to some extent, 2 skillsets.
1 Recruitment
2 Retention

I would class myself as average at the recruitment and good on the retention.
When I was 18 I was hopeless at recruitment.

The big breakthrough for me happened one freezing cold night. When I went for a walk up a nearby snow covered hill after another beer fueled night with no success. I reassessed my place in the history of the universe and decided that the whole of my life will make no impact on anything. And that all the negative things in my life didn't matter.

I let go of a lot of stress that night. Started taking the worries in my life less seriously.

Soon after that I got my first girlfriend. And spending time with her taught me a lot about women. About how they aren't a different species. About how I have a lot more in common with them than differences.

And since then it's been a case of continuous learning.

Between the age of 18.5 and 19.5 there was no change in my looks, wealth, status. There was a big improvement in my ability to get a girlfriend. Due to a change in my core inner philosophy and gaining experience as a boyfriend.

There are certain behaviours and ways that you talk that tend to be attractive to women and certain behaviours and ways of talking that tend to be unattractive.

There are Youtubers that have done video series that tell you all you need to know to be successful enough with women.
All any man needs to do is to watch them and then to go ahead and put the theory into practise.
The funny thing is, that when I've introduced these videos to male friends, they've not been interested. And they've continued to have from no success to limited success with women. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

I suspect that a big secret to success in this area is getting out of the way of yourself. And to stop self sabotaging yourself. To stop clinging to comforting beliefs and behaviour patterns.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
There's a huge middle ground between not being able / struggling to get a girlfriend and always getting the ladies.

And I don't think there's any man on Earth that always gets a woman when he's looking for one.

And I would argue that a man that has only a few women in his life, where he tends to get into long term relationships is just as successful, if not more so, with women than someone that has lots of shorter term flings.

There is, to some extent, 2 skillsets.
1 Recruitment
2 Retention

I would class myself as average at the recruitment and good on the retention.
When I was 18 I was hopeless at recruitment.

The big breakthrough for me happened one freezing cold night. When I went for a walk up a nearby snow covered hill after another beer fueled night with no success. I reassessed my place in the history of the universe and decided that the whole of my life will make no impact on anything. And that all the negative things in my life didn't matter.

I let go of a lot of stress that night. Started taking the worries in my life less seriously.

Soon after that I got my first girlfriend. And spending time with her taught me a lot about women. About how they aren't a different species. About how I have a lot more in common with them than differences.

And since then it's been a case of continuous learning.

Between the age of 18.5 and 19.5 there was no change in my looks, wealth, status. There was a big improvement in my ability to get a girlfriend. Due to a change in my core inner philosophy and gaining experience as a boyfriend.

There are certain behaviours and ways that you talk that tend to be attractive to women and certain behaviours and ways of talking that tend to be unattractive.

There are Youtubers that have done video series that tell you all you need to know to be successful enough with women.
All any man needs to do is to watch them and then to go ahead and put the theory into practise.
The funny thing is, that when I've introduced these videos to male friends, they've not been interested. And they've continued to have from no success to limited success with women. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

I suspect that a big secret to success in this area is getting out of the way of yourself. And to stop self sabotaging yourself. To stop clinging to comforting beliefs and behaviour patterns.
You mean the videos by dating coaches? Some of the more successful guys I know rubbish them though.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You mean the videos by dating coaches? Some of the more successful guys I know rubbish them though.
There are a lot of self appointed gurus making poor to mediocre videos on youtube. In and amongst those that give good advice.

I'd need a specific example of a "succesful guy" and a video that they rubbished before I could comment as to which I think is giving the better advice and why.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
There are a lot of self appointed gurus making poor to mediocre videos on youtube. In and amongst those that give good advice.

I'd need a specific example of a "succesful guy" and a video that they rubbished before I could comment as to which I think is giving the better advice and why.
A lot of guys I know rubbish Corey Wayne as sexist and misogynist as an example.
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HoldThisL
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i am neither. i haven't tried to ask a girl on a date since my last break up 2 years ago
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Zarek
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If your above average attractiveness or very witty it’s relatively easy, although even then there can be setbacks. For everyone else it’s tricky with a lot of blow outs. Probably not helped by everyone aspiring to play a bit above their league
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Kovalensky
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All and I mean all without a single exception of the guys I know who're quite successful with girls are good looking/have great bodies. Some are not as sociable as others but all are outgoing to some extent. Some are witty but all are confident.

So ...be great looking/good body, outgoing, and kinda confident - enough to walk up to a girl and talk to her.

I don't think you need anything else to secure dates.
Last edited by Kovalensky; 1 month ago
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
A lot of guys I know rubbish Corey Wayne as sexist and misogynist as an example.
From what I've seen of Corey Wayne, his advice is OKish, but I find his youtube delivery boring because it's just him sitting there lecturing in a rather unemotional way.

I think he places too much emphasis on working out and becoming a successful guy.
His videos also seem to lack clear concise, step by step advice.

I've not noticed anything particularly misogynistic about his content.

The people that give the best advice on getting girlfriends tend to have the attitude that they like women a lot.
Although they do tend struggle at staying in long term relationships. Maybe because getting new ones comes so easy for them and they crave the variety?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
From what I've seen of Corey Wayne, his advice is OKish, but I find his youtube delivery boring because it's just him sitting there lecturing in a rather unemotional way.

I think he places too much emphasis on working out and becoming a successful guy.
His videos also seem to lack clear concise, step by step advice.

I've not noticed anything particularly misogynistic about his content.

The people that give the best advice on getting girlfriends tend to have the attitude that they like women a lot.
Although they do tend struggle at staying in long term relationships. Maybe because getting new ones comes so easy for them and they crave the variety?
So who’s a better example?
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AstaYunoo
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Guys are stuck in the friend zone because they don't make their intention of wanting to date clear enough from the gecko, girls will friendzone you if you ain't committed. Appearance can easily be improved by going to the gym and maintaining your fitness and most girls are happy to date someone who comes across with confidence ~ from a single dude that has never dated
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by AstaYunoo)
Guys are stuck in the friend zone because they don't make their intention of wanting to date clear enough from the gecko, girls will friendzone you if you ain't committed. Appearance can easily be improved by going to the gym and maintaining your fitness and most girls are happy to date someone who comes across with confidence ~ from a single dude that has never dated
I’m not sure this is true. I think girls decide long before you’ve even blinked whether they’ll ever go out with you or not.
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AstaYunoo
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m not sure this is true. I think girls decide long before you’ve even blinked whether they’ll ever go out with you or not.
Maybe if you look like a gremlin
But in general, if you're a dude, you would also know what your type is and who you are most likely to vibe with and be compatible. It's dating, not go for the most attractive girl in the room and be sad if she rejects you based off of your looks
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So who’s a better example?
Owen Cook is a more entertaining speaker
Todd V
Bobby Rio
Jim Wolfe
Dan Bacon

(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m not sure this is true. I think girls decide long before you’ve even blinked whether they’ll ever go out with you or not.
Some girls may be that shallow, but most aren't.

(Original post by AstaYunoo)
Guys are stuck in the friend zone because they don't make their intention of wanting to date clear enough from the gecko, girls will friendzone you if you ain't committed. Appearance can easily be improved by going to the gym and maintaining your fitness and most girls are happy to date someone who comes across with confidence ~ from a single dude that has never dated
So if you're a single dude that has never dated, are you also someone that has never bought any shares and would you like to give us your thoughts on how to make money on the Stockmarket?
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AstaYunoo
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
So if you're a single dude that has never dated, are you also someone that has never bought any shares and would you like to give us your thoughts on how to make money on the Stockmarket?
Yes I would tell you to invest in index funds (eg s and p 500) make a savings accounts, and plan for further gains by looking at trends in the stock market, do your research and invest wisely. Wait to invest in crypto when you see another crash etc

You don't need to have done something to have the knowledge of doing that thing, plus the things I say are based off of what I have seen at my first year at uni so you don't need to believe me if you don't want to:woo:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by AstaYunoo)
Maybe if you look like a gremlin
But in general, if you're a dude, you would also know what your type is and who you are most likely to vibe with and be compatible. It's dating, not go for the most attractive girl in the room and be sad if she rejects you based off of your looks
I go for the girls no one else goes for and still get rejected.
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