My mum still gives me bed-time rules - I am 21.. erm, help?

Asian parents, eh?

Time to move out, I think. My parents are similarly controlling (I'm 23, 24 in under a month...yikes) and I've had enough, so I'm moving out soon. Though they won't let me... Anyway, back to you. Would moving out be a realistic option?

I've actually developed anxiety because of this. I think she's a narcissist as she lacks empathy or understanding.
If things don't go her way, she simply blocks/mutes me on whatsapp lol.

I get really stressed out by her bed-time routine for me, as I am no longer a child. I am an adult. Sure, I financially depend on my parents (unfortunately) as a student and live under their roof but I believe what she is doing isn't right.

Am I in the wrong? Maybe I am overreacting? I really don't know.

It's a normal behavior of any parents, so try to earn money for а rent and move out. After i think you become more independent and responsible when will live alone.

I think them telling you to be quiet after x time is reasonable if it stops then sleeping, is that what you mean?

Say no

Lol, yes.

Moving out hopefully in the future, but it would be impossible now.

I feel better though, now that I know I am not the only one.

Thank you

She doesn’t take no for an answer lol

Glad I could help, even if a little.

I will say to everyone, it is very hard to move out of strict Asian family homes. You get guilt tripped, they suggest you hate them for moving away, oldest sons (like I am) are meant to live with the family for a long time and provide for them, it is much more difficult than the average Western family dynamic (absolutely not saying that Westerners have it easy in all cases, just that, on average, Western culture allows for more freedom- there certainty are exceptions). But I'm glad OP seems to have some sort of a plan.

Feel free to make an account (if you don't have one) and PM me whenever you want about this.

What happens if you just don’t go to bed when you’re told, and you just let her block/mute you on Whatsapp for however long she wants to?

I’ve been contemplating whether I should do this but I guess there’s no point in claiming my mother is narcissistic when it doesn’t seem that way from my initial post. Being an only child makes it even worse. My mother is narcissistic and my father is the enabler.

Her interference in my life is to the point where I felt suicidal and depressed a few months ago. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that low in my life.
I have come very far from what I used to be.
Sorry about the wall of text but this is what I had written a few months back (the link below).
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6663548

Not all people have loving parents. Yes, they financially provide for me and do everything for me, buy me expensive things and throw money my way but they don’t respect me. Don’t love me but I was brainwashed all my life to think this was how parents show their love. Spending money on you = love. That’s how I always saw it.


Honestly, everything sounds cheesy but I honestly don’t know how I’ve survived so far.

No, this all sounds very believable to me. So sorry you’ve gone through all this. At least at 21 you can very reasonably get a job, rent your own place and move out!