i don’t want to self diagnose so advice or opinions would be nice.
i have a strict routine that i have to follow on certain days otherwise i will get stressed, anxious and frustrated and overwhelmed, as if my whole week has been ruined. It boils my BLOOD. ive calmed down now as i know this isn’t a good habit to have but it still occurs. When someone ELSE ruins my routine, it makes me mad. my routine isn’t something time specific like “at exactly 6.45 this and that” no it’s like i come home i go home i chill till like 8 and then do hw and then shower by 11-11.30 and sleep at 12. That’s for weekdays except fridays and weekends (my sunday routine is the strictest)
This same concept occurs with cleanliness. I really hate other people’s bodies being dirty and unclean, this mostly relating to my family. I hate when they lay on my bed or touch my stuff or just come in my room, i feel like all their germs and stuff will enter my room after i’ve cleant it (theyre like unhygienic). I don’t mind certain people like my sister since i know she’s clean but it still puts me on EDGE. obviously days like monday - thursday i’m strict on nobody touching my stuff since i clean my room properly on sundays.
Anwyays in today’s case, my mum wanted my nephew to sleep on my room floor. I’m on my period so i said no and i used that excuse since i’m not in the mood. If i wasn’t on my period, i wouldn’t let him still. His mum (my sister) and him just STINK, they have 0 hygiene and whenever they come over it REALLLLLLY puts me on edge but i bite my tongue since they’re lovely people. I don’t want to tell them to shwoer and stuff bc i feel bad and my mum will shout at me. whenever my sister uses my hairbrush i throw it away and buy a new one. Once she used my roll on deodorant and i legit teared up and bought a new one.
My mum already gets mad at me for my routine and how strict i am and how i see everyone as “dirty” but i can’t help it. I’m a a level psych student so i’ve been treating it as if it’s a phobia type of thing and i’ve slowly been exposing myself to more and more things that put me on edge but these feelings are more compressed than dealt with. I don’t know what to do.
When i’m dirty or something i acknowledge it and i’m still disgusted but i can just aboit deal with it but if it’s someone in my house and they’re in my space i will go mad. I bite my tongue a lot and try not to act on saying anything because i know i’ll get into trouble and it all just seems rude.
idk what to do and idk how to deal with this, i don’t even know if it’s OCD or something bc it’s so strange idek