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Possible pregnancy?

My boyfriend and I often use contraceptive however let’s just say things didn’t go according to plan this time. We’re both of age but still too young for children. When discussing what we would do just incase it results in a pregnancy (very hypothetical I used emergency contraceptive that is 83% effective) I tried to explain that it would be very difficult for me emotionally to get an abortion. His response was to tell me that if I had a child without his consent he would leave me. Am I being unreasonable by getting upset over this? All I wanted was to explain that it would hurt me to do it and I was met with aggression. Any advice on how to respond to his statement would be great thank you

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Congratulations on becoming a mum
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend and I often use contraceptive however let’s just say things didn’t go according to plan this time. We’re both of age but still too young for children. When discussing what we would do just incase it results in a pregnancy (very hypothetical I used emergency contraceptive that is 83% effective) I tried to explain that it would be very difficult for me emotionally to get an abortion. His response was to tell me that if I had a child without his consent he would leave me. Am I being unreasonable by getting upset over this? All I wanted was to explain that it would hurt me to do it and I was met with aggression. Any advice on how to respond to his statement would be great thank you

You are absolutely not being unreasonable by being upset by him threatening to leave you. In all honesty, if it were me I would consider breaking up with him for that statement alone however I don’t know your relationship so can’t really comment on that. He should be able to understand why it would be so difficult for you to have an abortion and even if he doesn’t he should try to understand, not come back with a threat to leave you if you have his child without his permission. At the end of the day, it takes 2 people to make a baby so the responsibility is as much his as it is yours and he needs to understand that
Reply 3
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
It a piggish thing to say. He may choose to leave you but his responsibility would remain. If you care for him, give him a chance to apologise, otherwise look for someone better
Controversial but, to be honest, I understand his point of view. He doesn't want the responsibility of being a dad, and I don't blame him. :/


But I don't like the fact that 'if you had a kid without his consent'- I don't know why but that statement just doesn't sit right with me.
(edited 2 years ago)
Leave him and get with me I love MILFS
Your bf has certainly made his position and opinions very clear.
Time for you to do the same.
Remember- it is your choice, your body and your right to dump an incompatible bf who has a lousy attitude.
Good luck!
Reply 7
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
Leave him and get with me I love MILFS

I needed a laugh, thank you
Hope you can afford a pram
I'm female but I believe that a guy has as much right as a girl to decide if he wants to be a parent or not. There's enough contraception around to avoid unwanted pregnancies in 99% of cases. But the way you say that you often use contraception is ambiguous. If sometimes you do and sometimes you don't, and he knows that you're not using an oral contraceptive then he is responsible for the consequences. Both of your hit and miss attitude to contraception was bound to come unstuck!
Reply 10
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
Original post by Anonymous
I'm female but I believe that a guy has as much right as a girl to decide if he wants to be a parent or not. There's enough contraception around to avoid unwanted pregnancies in 99% of cases. But the way you say that you often use contraception is ambiguous. If sometimes you do and sometimes you don't, and he knows that you're not using an oral contraceptive then he is responsible for the consequences. Both of your hit and miss attitude to contraception was bound to come unstuck!


There is a certain impracticality in giving someone 50% control of another persons body. It’s a risk guys have to face up to as part of sex
Original post by Anonymous
I'm female but I believe that a guy has as much right as a girl to decide if he wants to be a parent or not. There's enough contraception around to avoid unwanted pregnancies in 99% of cases. But the way you say that you often use contraception is ambiguous. If sometimes you do and sometimes you don't, and he knows that you're not using an oral contraceptive then he is responsible for the consequences. Both of your hit and miss attitude to contraception was bound to come unstuck!

If you really want to know we used a condom and it broke. For medical reasons I can’t be on the pill.
**** you for thinking I’m careless.
Congratulations on becoming a mother what you going name your baby
Reply 13
Avatar for Kerzen
Kerzen
17
Original post by Anonymous
If you really want to know we used a condom and it broke. For medical reasons I can’t be on the pill.
**** you for thinking I’m careless.


Am I correct in understanding that you were able to get the morning after pill and that there is no chance that you are pregnant now but that your worry is actually about your boyfriend's reaction?
He’s exercising his privilege to walk away. Nothing you can do about that. He won’t be able to avoid his financial responsibility though so you will be taken care of if you decide to go ahead. And his willingness to resort to emotional blackmail tells you everything you need to know about how little you need him.

So forget him. What do you want to do? It’s a tremendous life change and responsibility to bring a child into the world, more than you can ever imagine until you finally meet it. It can also be the greatest joy. And yes, I’ve walked away from an abortion room. It was something I couldn’t put myself through then and I knew that. I’m not sure I would feel so strongly now and maybe I could be more pragmatic about it today. Certain circumstances would probably enable it.

But it’s your body. No one else has any right to determine what you do with it. And as to your boyfriend’s consent? He consented the moment he chose not to use contraception. He already gave up his control. He doesn’t get to take it back now.
Original post by Kerzen
Am I correct in understanding that you were able to get the morning after pill and that there is no chance that you are pregnant now but that your worry is actually about your boyfriend's reaction?


Yes 100%
Original post by Zarek
There is a certain impracticality in giving someone 50% control of another persons body. It’s a risk guys have to face up to as part of sex

I think guys should have the option for a paper abortion rather than having a say in what actually happens. It's quite unfair, really, that this isn't an option for them.

Just wondering by the way, are you a guy?
(edited 2 years ago)
Reply 17
Avatar for Kerzen
Kerzen
17
Original post by Anonymous
Yes 100%


How old are you both?
Original post by Kerzen
How old are you both?

18
Reply 19
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
Original post by Qxi.xli
I think guys should have the option for a paper abortion rather than having a say in what actually happens. It's quite unfair, really, that this isn't an option for them.

Just wondering by the way, are you a guy?


Yes and what is a paper abortion?

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