Personality vs Looks?

Original post by Anonymous

So I was wondering if you guys would date a female that was super attracted to your personality and says you're the funniest and most enjoyable person to talk to, but, she's not attracted to you physically as you would be with a crush usually? (Obvs she's still slightly attracted to me physically, but I'm not her usual type and should that be worrying going forward?)

Personally I think it's a good idea. I am a female and I have a bf who wasn't my type at all considering what I usually look for in a man however he had a great personality and was very funny. The thing is physical attractiveness is not always what we look for. Sometimes someone can be exactly your type but not have a very nice personality in which case it's very much not worth it! My advice would be to date this girl because the fact that you two get on very well should always be more important than the way you look. Good luck with your decisions :smile:

Reply 2

That sounds appealing to me. It’s a very good reason to be in a relationship with someone. If a relationship is basically founded on physical attraction and sex appeal, the novelty and mystery might wear off and the relationship might not last. A relationship founded on more meaningful connections between two personalities seems much more likely to go the distance.

Reply 3

OP

Original post by Amira_Jade

Personally I think it's a good idea. I am a female and I have a bf who wasn't my type at all considering what I usually look for in a man however he had a great personality and was very funny. The thing is physical attractiveness is not always what we look for. Sometimes someone can be exactly your type but not have a very nice personality in which case it's very much not worth it! My advice would be to date this girl because the fact that you two get on very well should always be more important than the way you look. Good luck with your decisions :smile:

But like what happens if someone with an equally good personality comes around but is also your type?

Reply 4

OP

Original post by anosmianAcrimony

That sounds appealing to me. It’s a very good reason to be in a relationship with someone. If a relationship is basically founded on physical attraction and sex appeal, the novelty and mystery might wear off and the relationship might not last. A relationship founded on more meaningful connections between two personalities seems much more likely to go the distance.

I do get that personality would mean the relationship is more likely to go forwards, but what about just looking for someone instead that is both physically and mentally attracted to you?

P.s. I'm super into this girl, but her physical type is just way off me which leads me to think that eventually when relationships do eventually get slightly mundane she might find someone that is both her type physically but also personality wise. And then I've just wasted my time :biggrin:

Reply 5

Original post by Anonymous

So I was wondering if you guys would date a female that was super attracted to your personality and says you're the funniest and most enjoyable person to talk to, but, she's not attracted to you physically as you would be with a crush usually? (Obvs she's still slightly attracted to me physically, but I'm not her usual type and should that be worrying going forward?)

Definitely not. That sounds more like a friendship than a relationship.

Reply 6

Original post by Anonymous

So I was wondering if you guys would date a female that was super attracted to your personality and says you're the funniest and most enjoyable person to talk to, but, she's not attracted to you physically as you would be with a crush usually? (Obvs she's still slightly attracted to me physically, but I'm not her usual type and should that be worrying going forward?)

You should end it there before you catch feelings and she dumps you for someone she finds physically attractive with a personality as good as yours. Because she can easily meet a lad she finds physically attractive that has a good personality and in that scenario she would dump you so if I was you I'd end it.

Reply 7

Original post by Anonymous

But like what happens if someone with an equally good personality comes around but is also your type?

Well then you must ask yourself if this is a risk you're willing to take. Me and my bf have always based our relationship around honesty, so maybe you should just discuss this with her. If you both want to be together and both like each other in a romantic sense, someone else's presence shouldn't make a difference to you guys. Hope this helps :smile:

Reply 8

Original post by Anonymous

I do get that personality would mean the relationship is more likely to go forwards, but what about just looking for someone instead that is both physically and mentally attracted to you?

P.s. I'm super into this girl, but her physical type is just way off me which leads me to think that eventually when relationships do eventually get slightly mundane she might find someone that is both her type physically but also personality wise. And then I've just wasted my time :biggrin:

You wouldn’t necessarily have wasted your time. You would have spent time in a happy and fulfilling relationship, deeply connected with a person, made good memories, and learned more about both yourself and humanity; isn’t that all anyone can hope for? All relationships end and we enter into them in the knowledge that our partner will either eventually choose to leave, or we will, or one of us will die. That doesn’t mean they’re not worth pursuing :smile:

Reply 9

Original post by Anonymous

But like what happens if someone with an equally good personality comes around but is also your type?

Then she will ditch you for that guy, hence why she isn't worth the hussle and you should move on.

Original post by Anonymous

I do get that personality would mean the relationship is more likely to go forwards, but what about just looking for someone instead that is both physically and mentally attracted to you?

P.s. I'm super into this girl, but her physical type is just way off me which leads me to think that eventually when relationships do eventually get slightly mundane she might find someone that is both her type physically but also personality wise. And then I've just wasted my time :biggrin:

Yep, she definitely will and you are wasting your time on her. Dump her and find a girl who's physically and mentally attracted to you, who you feel the same about. Trust me, you'll find some.

Reply 10

Original post by anosmianAcrimony

You wouldn’t necessarily have wasted your time. You would have spent time in a happy and fulfilling relationship, deeply connected with a person, made good memories, and learned more about both yourself and humanity; isn’t that all anyone can hope for? All relationships end and we enter into them in the knowledge that our partner will either eventually choose to leave, or we will, or one of us will die. That doesn’t mean they’re not worth pursuing :smile:

Imo in OP's situation, there's already major red flags. The girl he likes doesn't find him attractive so she easily will move on if she finds a guy that is attractive with the same personality.

Original post by Amira_Jade

Well then you must ask yourself if this is a risk you're willing to take. Me and my bf have always based our relationship around honesty, so maybe you should just discuss this with her. If you both want to be together and both like each other in a romantic sense, someone else's presence shouldn't make a difference to you guys. Hope this helps :smile:

In OPs situation though the girl isn't attracted to his looks. Thats not worth staying in a relationship for as when she finds someone who has the looks she likes, she will leave him for that. He needs to move on, imo you can't be in a relationship with someone you aren't physically attracted to, with it working out.

Reply 11

Original post by Anonymous

Imo in OP's situation, there's already major red flags. The girl he likes doesn't find him attractive so she easily will move on if she finds a guy that is attractive with the same personality.

In OPs situation though the girl isn't attracted to his looks. Thats not worth staying in a relationship for as when she finds someone who has the looks she likes, she will leave him for that. He needs to move on, imo you can't be in a relationship with someone you aren't physically attracted to, with it working out.

That is a fair point that this could happen however I'd like to think she's not that shallow and isn't just in a relationship for looks. However we're only human and sometimes things do go wrong in a relationship so perhaps the main thing for him is to weigh up the risks. Is he willing to date her if there's a possibility things could go bad? Personally I think it's worth it. Life is too short not to take opportunities. It's always better to experience things and risk it sometimes than to live life being afraid of the "what if?" situations :smile:

Reply 12

Original post by Amira_Jade

That is a fair point that this could happen however I'd like to think she's not that shallow and isn't just in a relationship for looks. However we're only human and sometimes things do go wrong in a relationship so perhaps the main thing for him is to weigh up the risks. Is he willing to date her if there's a possibility things could go bad? Personally I think it's worth it. Life is too short not to take opportunities. It's always better to experience things and risk it sometimes than to live life being afraid of the "what if?" situations :smile:

PRSOM

Reply 13

Original post by anosmianAcrimony

PRSOM

What does this mean?

Reply 14

Lucifer323

18

Original post by Anonymous

So I was wondering if you guys would date a female that was super attracted to your personality and says you're the funniest and most enjoyable person to talk to, but, she's not attracted to you physically as you would be with a crush usually? (Obvs she's still slightly attracted to me physically, but I'm not her usual type and should that be worrying going forward?)

Let's change it a little.

Suppose you know of a girl who has a super nice personality but she is a short ugly hobbit. Would you date her?? Or more importantly can you be physically attracted to a hobbit??

Reply 15

Please Rate Some Other Member. It’s what TSR tells you if you try and rep someone’s post but you already repped one of their posts recently. So basically it means ’’I wish I could show my appreciation of this post but I already appreciated you recently so here is my appreciation’’ :biggrin:

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 16

Original post by Lucifer323

Let's change it a little.

Suppose you know of a girl who has a super nice personality but she is a short ugly hobbit. Would you date her?? Or more importantly can you be physically attracted to a hobbit??

That seems like a slightly different situation just in that you’re asking us, not the OP’s prospective girlfriend who might think differently. As for me - it depends on the person and many other factors but I think what you describe would bother me.

Reply 17

Original post by anosmianAcrimony

Please Rate Some Other Member. It’s what TSR tells you if you try and rep someone’s post but you already repped one of their posts recently. So basically it means ’’I wish I could show my appreciation of this post but I already appreciated you recently so here is my appreciation’’ :biggrin:

Oh haha thanks for letting me know, that's very sweet of you then! lol
Much appreciated :smile:

Reply 18

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Imo in OP's situation, there's already major red flags. The girl he likes doesn't find him attractive so she easily will move on if she finds a guy that is attractive with the same personality.

In OPs situation though the girl isn't attracted to his looks. Thats not worth staying in a relationship for as when she finds someone who has the looks she likes, she will leave him for that. He needs to move on, imo you can't be in a relationship with someone you aren't physically attracted to, with it working out.

It's not that she doesn't find me physically attractive, I do think she does because she's the more eager one out of the 2, but I'm just worried because her types are so different to me lmao.
That being said she did mention that personality which i do believe because she's considerably older than me too

Reply 19