He has a girlfriend but flirts with me

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Anonymous #1
#1
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There is this guy at uni who flirts with me but he has a girlfriend back home, he always tells me he's thinking of breaking up with her and he keeps asking to come round to watch a film, the thing is I actually like him as he's so hot so I'm actually tempted, anyone else been in this position?
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anosmianAcrimony
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Well, keep in mind that if you get with him, he’s liable to flirt with other girls at a minimum. The fact that he wants to come over while still merely thinking of breaking up with his girlfriend is a big red flag.
Last edited by anosmianAcrimony; 2 months ago
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Son of the Sea
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If he cheats with you he'll cheat on you.
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Zarek
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This is often what happens to partners back home, you have to weigh up whether it matters that he will probably show you the same loyalty at some point. Ethically my view is that he would be the one committing the crime
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londonmyst
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Your common sense already knows that the best thing to do is avoid getting closely involved with him.
Unless you are looking for a ons or casual sex arrangement with a guy who already has a gf.
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tashkent46
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I am going to offer you an opposite opinion to all of the above. Consider it the 'immoral opinion' because it does not take into account the other woman, who you ought to factor into in any ethical decision.

Firstly, contrary to the above, if he cheats with you it does not mean he is going to cheat on you, it does make it more likely. Furthermore this isn't a problem if your interest is purely physical, if you have no desire to seek a relationship with him his suitability doesn't factor at all.

Secondly I do not believe their relationship to be any of your business really, if he wants to cheat why is it your responsibility to respect it, it is clearly untenable anyway, otherwise he wouldn't be asking other women to come round and watch films.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by tashkent46)
I am going to offer you an opposite opinion to all of the above. Consider it the 'immoral opinion' because it does not take into account the other woman, who you ought to factor into in any ethical decision.

Firstly, contrary to the above, if he cheats with you it does not mean he is going to cheat on you, it does make it more likely. Furthermore this isn't a problem if your interest is purely physical, if you have no desire to seek a relationship with him his suitability doesn't factor at all.

Secondly I do not believe their relationship to be any of your business really, if he wants to cheat why is it your responsibility to respect it, it is clearly untenable anyway, otherwise he wouldn't be asking other women to come round and watch films.
Exactly I don't want a relationship anyway
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YaliaV123
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Do you really have such a low opinion of yourself?
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There is this guy at uni who flirts with me but he has a girlfriend back home, he always tells me he's thinking of breaking up with her and he keeps asking to come round to watch a film, the thing is I actually like him as he's so hot so I'm actually tempted, anyone else been in this position?
I don't think there is any problem.
If he is thinking of breaking up with her you just make sure you speed up the process of breaking. These things happen and they are not unethical as other users think. It's just competition.
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bethwantsdeath
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you can cheat with him if you want, but keep in mind its not a good look on you. i will say whether or not you go through with it, he still had the intention of cheating, in which case its sad knowing the gf probably wont know and will continue being with him.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There is this guy at uni who flirts with me but he has a girlfriend back home, he always tells me he's thinking of breaking up with her and he keeps asking to come round to watch a film, the thing is I actually like him as he's so hot so I'm actually tempted, anyone else been in this position?

Go ahead. If things happen that doesn’t go to plan, he will be the one to blame and his own fault for cheating on her with you.


A faithful man would never flirt with other women.
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
Go ahead. If things happen that doesn’t go to plan, he will be the one to blame and his own fault for cheating on her with you.


A faithful man would never flirt with other women.
I like how you set the bar in your last sentence.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Lucifer323)
I like how you set the bar in your last sentence.
:congrats:

(Original post by Anonymous)
Exactly I don't want a relationship anyway

So you want a one-night stand typa thing. Go ahead. What if you did not know he had a GF? Would you still be having mixed feelings? Nope.


So I see no issues.
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Hazzz01
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There is this guy at uni who flirts with me but he has a girlfriend back home, he always tells me he's thinking of breaking up with her and he keeps asking to come round to watch a film, the thing is I actually like him as he's so hot so I'm actually tempted, anyone else been in this position?
he's still w someone though, so don't. Cheating is unforgivable and like someone said on here, if he's going to cheat with you, do you not think tomorrow he could cheat on you behind your back? It's a red flag for me, if you want a relationship w him, it should be when he's single.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
:congrats:




So you want a one-night stand typa thing. Go ahead. What if you did not know he had a GF? Would you still be having mixed feelings? Nope.


So I see no issues.
Nah I don't have mixed feelings I really want to sleep with him
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JaseyB
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Put yourself in his girlfriend's position, would you like it if he cheated on you ?
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Nah I don't have mixed feelings I really want to sleep with him

Then there is your answer.

You don’t want a relationship with him. But he is the one that is flirting with you, so he is the one that wants to sleep with you too.


So go ahead. As I have said, a faithful man would never flirt with other women.


You can all sit here and defend the relationship but we actually don’t know his reasons for flirting with you, his GF might be doing worse for all we know


It’s odd to support something you have no idea what’s going on behind closed doors

If an opportunity is open to you and he is leading you on to have sex with him, I see no problem. You’ve said you don’t want a relationship so I don’t think that would bother you if he slept with someone else IMO.
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 2 months ago
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Anonymous #2
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If you don’t want a relationship and don’t care if he’s a cheater then go ahead. Why are you asking for our opinion when it’s fairly clear you already know what you want?

I disagree with the ‘moral argument’ about how you are not responsible blah blah blah. If you know what he’s doing is immoral, and you are willingly contributing to that act, then I do believe you are not any better. The guy may be the one who cheated, but you were also a willing participant in an act that could (at least in theory) hurt someone else.

But it’s clear you are letting your vagina do all the thinking and morality is not your concern, so keep on living that life of yours.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There is this guy at uni who flirts with me but he has a girlfriend back home, he always tells me he's thinking of breaking up with her and he keeps asking to come round to watch a film, the thing is I actually like him as he's so hot so I'm actually tempted, anyone else been in this position?
So see his reaction when you ask him to do a video call with his girlfriend and break up with her, with you there in the background. Thinking isn't the same as doing!

And ask yourself why you would want to be involved with a scumbag who is willing to cheat.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If you don’t want a relationship and don’t care if he’s a cheater then go ahead. Why are you asking for our opinion when it’s fairly clear you already know what you want?

I disagree with the ‘moral argument’ about how you are not responsible blah blah blah. If you know what he’s doing is immoral, and you are willingly contributing to that act, then I do believe you are not any better. The guy may be the one who cheated, but you were also a willing participant in an act that could (at least in theory) hurt someone else.

But it’s clear you are letting your vagina do all the thinking and morality is not your concern, so keep on living that life of yours.
I guess I wanted some advice but yeah he came round last night in the end and we did have sex
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