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Losing my Virginity

Hi,

So I feel ready to lose my virginity (relatively soon) like me and my bf are ready to go for it but like there's so much to think about?? Birth control, condoms all that I feel so clueless and I definitely ofc don't want to get pregnant that's terrifying and then there's like STD/Is to worry about and yeah does anyone have any advice it seems scary but I know I want to do it.

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the answer to most of these is wear a condom and go slow until you're both comfortable
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Original post by HoldThisL
the answer to most of these is wear a condom and go slow until you're both comfortable

But don't you need more than that like wouldn't I need birth control? And also I know this is slightly random but I'm sort of nervous about the idea of losing it with someone I actually like as in a part of me is wondering if it's just easier to lose it with someone I'll never see again or something. So it isn't awkward.
Original post by Anonymous
But don't you need more than that like wouldn't I need birth control? And also I know this is slightly random but I'm sort of nervous about the idea of losing it with someone I actually like as in a part of me is wondering if it's just easier to lose it with someone I'll never see again or something. So it isn't awkward.

a condom is birth control; you can take extra stuff if you want but it'll be extra effort and won't really impact the chance of getting pregnant because a condom does that (as long as it doesn't break, so have spares)

losing your virginity to your boyfriend isn't awkward, he's your boyfriend. you'd hope to have more to your relationship than sharing an insubstantial idea about sex
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Original post by HoldThisL
a condom is birth control; you can take extra stuff if you want but it'll be extra effort and won't really impact the chance of getting pregnant because a condom does that (as long as it doesn't break, so have spares)

losing your virginity to your boyfriend isn't awkward, he's your boyfriend. you'd hope to have more to your relationship than sharing an insubstantial idea about sex

right
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Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

So I feel ready to lose my virginity (relatively soon) like me and my bf are ready to go for it but like there's so much to think about?? Birth control, condoms all that I feel so clueless and I definitely ofc don't want to get pregnant that's terrifying and then there's like STD/Is to worry about and yeah does anyone have any advice it seems scary but I know I want to do it.

I'd appreciate any help and also any advice from people who have already lost it like how did you build up to it and was it with someone you knew and all that
Yes, you do need birth control! STD-wise I would 100% reccomend getting tested - 1 negative test should then be fine if you've been in an exclusive relationship for 6 months or more. Going to get tested can be a great opportunity to talk to a healthcare professional too and ask them any questions you have, and you can make an appointment on the same day for contraception/ask for free condoms. It sounds like you want to have sex, you just want to do it safely (which is very responsible and mature of you) so going to a sexual health centre would be a good first step.

Scarleteen is a fantastic resource too and something like their sex readiness checklist might help https://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/ready_or_not_the_scarleteen_sex_readiness_checklist?
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Thank you so much this is very helpful!! How do you go ahead with getting tested? Is it something your parents need to know about because I would have preferred them not to know as it is uncomfortable of course but I want to be safe

Original post by becausethenight
Yes, you do need birth control! STD-wise I would 100% reccomend getting tested - 1 negative test should then be fine if you've been in an exclusive relationship for 6 months or more. Going to get tested can be a great opportunity to talk to a healthcare professional too and ask them any questions you have, and you can make an appointment on the same day for contraception/ask for free condoms. It sounds like you want to have sex, you just want to do it safely (which is very responsible and mature of you) so going to a sexual health centre would be a good first step.

Scarleteen is a fantastic resource too and something like their sex readiness checklist might help https://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/ready_or_not_the_scarleteen_sex_readiness_checklist?
Reply 8
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Original post by becausethenight
Yes, you do need birth control! STD-wise I would 100% reccomend getting tested - 1 negative test should then be fine if you've been in an exclusive relationship for 6 months or more. Going to get tested can be a great opportunity to talk to a healthcare professional too and ask them any questions you have, and you can make an appointment on the same day for contraception/ask for free condoms. It sounds like you want to have sex, you just want to do it safely (which is very responsible and mature of you) so going to a sexual health centre would be a good first step.

Scarleteen is a fantastic resource too and something like their sex readiness checklist might help https://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/ready_or_not_the_scarleteen_sex_readiness_checklist?

Thank you so much this is very helpful? To get tested how do you arrange that? Is it something your parents would have to be aware of? I would have preferred for them not to because it is uncomfortable ofc but I want to be safe
Original post by Anonymous
I'd appreciate any help and also any advice from people who have already lost it like how did you build up to it and was it with someone you knew and all that

TALK about it beforehand so you both know what's going on and when
I always recommend discussing it beforehand and ensuring you take it slow - never aim to imitate porn as it's fake. Ensure you communicate at all times.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you so much this is very helpful? To get tested how do you arrange that? Is it something your parents would have to be aware of? I would have preferred for them not to because it is uncomfortable ofc but I want to be safe

You can just make an appointment online with your local sexual health clinic! You can find somewhere here https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health

Your parents don’t have to know, even if you’re under 16. I’d recommend going with your partner - sexual health is a joint responsibility :smile:
it's best to not have sex with a stranger just to 'lose it'.
have it with someone that truly appreciates you, loves you for you, and wants to be with you.
Original post by Anonymous
a part of me is wondering if it's just easier to lose it with someone I'll never see again or something. So it isn't awkward.

that's what i thought as well
Use lubricant - it will make the first time much more comfortable. Most sexual health clinics will give you lube for free if you ask for it.

Do lots of foreplay (kissing, touching, cuddling) and get thoroughly turned on before you try any kind of penetration. Don’t feel that you have to have conventional sex right away - just do whatever feels good to you, and keep communicating so that you both know what’s working and what might be uncomfortable or painful. Remember that your comfort and pleasure is just as important as his. Have fun! :biggrin:
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Use lubricant - it will make the first time much more comfortable. Most sexual health clinics will give you lube for free if you ask for it.

Do lots of foreplay (kissing, touching, cuddling) and get thoroughly turned on before you try any kind of penetration. Don’t feel that you have to have conventional sex right away - just do whatever feels good to you, and keep communicating so that you both know what’s working and what might be uncomfortable or painful. Remember that your comfort and pleasure is just as important as his. Have fun! :biggrin:

thx so much for the advice ill see how it goes : D
Original post by Anonymous
that's what i thought as well

right???
Original post by Anonymous
right???

at least then if I'm **** at it then I can say **** them Imma never see u again
Original post by Anonymous
at least then if I'm **** at it then I can say **** them Imma never see u again

yeah word omg it's just easier
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

So I feel ready to lose my virginity (relatively soon) like me and my bf are ready to go for it but like there's so much to think about?? Birth control, condoms all that I feel so clueless and I definitely ofc don't want to get pregnant that's terrifying and then there's like STD/Is to worry about and yeah does anyone have any advice it seems scary but I know I want to do it.

Don't do it you will regret it --> I strongly recommend that you wait till marriage are in a committed relationship.

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