The question is to write a description of a creepy place. It's out of 40 - 24 marks for content and organisation and 16 marks for technical accuracy. Could you please mark my work and give me feedback. I think my description sounds too much like a narrative.
My answer:
It was an unusually harsh winters night;the unforgiving wind penetrated through my fur with its icy blade as I was perched on top of the iron gate. The moon glew through the somber clouds; her soothing white light illuminated the gloomy graveyard. The night air was heavy with the dank odur of moss and decomposing leaves.
Although the tall gate was half rusted, it still commanded a sense of regalness. Russet highlights came to life in between the gritty texture of obsidian and perfectly prominently spears that dominated the scene like a noble soldier. Strangely, the sturdy gate didn't seem to have a latch, nor a lock - forever protecting the graveyard's secrets.
In the graveyard, towering trees with sprawling limbs guarded the darkness, trying to blot out the moon's curious rays. Ropes of ivy emerged out of the darkness, twisting around the trees like knotted snakes. A thick fog engulfed the graveyard, turning the graveyard into to its sinister cocoon.The eerie fog cast contorted shadows of the trees, making them move around the graveyard in dramatic patterns.
Abruptly, the wind howled through the iron gate and danced through the graveyard while gracefully twirling the milky fog, creating intricate opal designs.The sour fog reluctantly began to lift, revealing a peculiar figure.
It was a woman.A silk white dress hung loosely on her boney physique; crimson stains were splattered on the canvas like a great art piece.Her eyes were emeralds, glowing with a surreal beauty. She had large bright eyes and yet, why were an ocean of tears gushing down her porcelain face?
Wispy strands of dark velvet hair blew softly like old cob webs while she mournfully looked down at a pitiful grave stone.She was somehow different from the other humans. A dark aura oozed out of her and her pale feet seemed to not touch the ground: what was this being?