Maintaining a close friendship

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Anonymous #1
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What is the best way to maintain a good close friendship between a guy and a girl? Without feelings getting in the way? I always seem to ruin them by developing feelings for them.
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Final Fantasy
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Yeah good luck with that...
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Chicken.M.
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You can still be friends even if you have feelings for each other. I have a couple female friends where we have mutual crushes on each other but we're still just friends. You don't have to act on it. And even if you do if you can still be FWBs and be fine.

It helps if you know a relationship would never work, for example you both have completely different life goals, relationship expectations or theres a big age gap.
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Muhammad Razak
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What is the best way to maintain a good close friendship between a guy and a girl? Without feelings getting in the way? I always seem to ruin them by developing feelings for them.
It'll never work. 1 will always have feelings for the other even if they r in a relationship. Best to avoid opl. Gender friends imo and religion
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Chicken.M.)
You can still be friends even if you have feelings for each other. I have a couple female friends where we have mutual crushes on each other but we're still just friends. You don't have to act on it. And even if you do if you can still be FWBs and be fine.

It helps if you know a relationship would never work, for example you both have completely different life goals, relationship expectations or theres a big age gap.
How do you know they’re mutual crushes?
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Chicken.M.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How do you know they’re mutual crushes?
Because they told me they have crushes on me and I also like them lol. I always have conversations about this stuff with people to find out how they feel, or to tell them what I feel etc.
Last edited by Chicken.M.; 3 months ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Chicken.M.)
Because they told me they have crushes on me and I also like them lol.
Are you a guy or girl? Do you think girls will always tell a guy if they have a crush on him?
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Chicken.M.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Are you a guy or girl? Do you think girls will always tell a guy if they have a crush on him?
I'm a guy. And yeah they will, especially if you're the one who brings it up first.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Chicken.M.)
I'm a guy. And yeah they will, especially if you're the one who brings it up first.
So they’ll tell you if you ask them out for example?
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Chicken.M.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So they’ll tell you if you ask them out for example?
Yeah, but I personally never use the phrase "Will you go out with me?" Feels a bit unnatural to me.

This example is one that's happened a bunch of times for me with different girls. I'll have a conversation with them that's sort of sexual, then I'll ask them if they've ever masturbated while thinking of me If they haven't said no, they'll either admit it, or be like 'mmmmm maybe.' And then I just tell them 'okay because I have with you.' Then they end up admitting they have as well.
Last edited by Chicken.M.; 3 months ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Chicken.M.)
Yeah, but I personally never use the phrase "Will you go out with me?" Feels a bit unnatural to me.

This example is one that's happened a bunch of times for me with different girls. I'll have a conversation with them that's sort of sexual, then I'll ask them if they've ever masturbated while thinking of me If they haven't said no, they'll either admit it, or be like 'mmmmm maybe.' And then I just tell them 'okay because I have with you.' Then they end up admitting they have as well.
That could be seen as creepy. It’s very forward.
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Chicken.M.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That could be seen as creepy. It’s very forward.
Lol, it's difficult to explain because it's so nuanced. Every conversation and relationship is a bit different.

In the context I'm talking about, it's not creepy because that kind of subject matter is already normal and theres a lot of flirty banter with those girls, but we're still just friends.

But I personally am a very blunt, forward, honest person. It's also one of the reasons they choose to be friends with me in the first place, they find it funny/attractive (if they didn't like it they would have been gone ages ago). So in my case, the girls I talk to are not surprised if I come out asking stuff like that. And if I ever do sense that it's become awkward I will ask them if they think I'm being inappropriate. And that easily removes the awkwardness and we carry on like nothing happened lol.
Last edited by Chicken.M.; 3 months ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Chicken.M.)
Lol, it's difficult to explain because it's so nuanced. Every conversation and relationship is a bit different.

In the context I'm talking about, it's not creepy because that kind of subject matter is already normal and theres a lot of flirty banter with those girls, but we're still just friends.

But I personally am a very blunt, forward, honest person. It's also one of the reasons they choose to be friends with me in the first place, they find it funny/attractive (if they didn't like it they would have been gone ages ago). So in my case, the girls I talk to are not surprised if I come out asking stuff like that. And if I ever do sense that it's become awkward I will ask them if they think I'm being inappropriate. And that easily removes the awkwardness and we carry on like nothing happened lol.
So you think every girl you’re friends with likes you?
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Chicken.M.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So you think every girl you’re friends with likes you?
You're obviously not going to be friends with people you don't like (if you are then you're a snake lol). I'm not talking about acquaintances you barely talk to and have zero banter with.

Usually when you've been friends with someone for a while they would have told you why they like you at some point.
Last edited by Chicken.M.; 3 months ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Chicken.M.)
You're obviously not going to be friends with people you don't like (if you are then you're a snake lol). I'm not talking about acquaintances you barely talk to and have zero banter with.

Usually when you've been friends with someone for a while they would have told you why they like you at some point.
I meant like as in more than friends sort of way. If you’re just friends, surely they only like you as friends?
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Chicken.M.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I meant like as in more than friends sort of way. If you’re just friends, surely they only like you as friends?
Yeah some of them do. But you can be attracted to each other sexually and still be friends. For example, one of my friends is a single mum with a bunch of kids and we flirt alot. But we both know a relationship is never going to happen because we want different things, it's just fun to flirt. We established that super early on when we first started talking to each other, I literally asked, "seeing as a relationship is never going to happen do you want to just have fun and flirt then?" And she was like 'yeah that sounds nice.'
Last edited by Chicken.M.; 3 months ago
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fellowweebhere
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You can’t avoid catching feelings, but you can have friends of the opposite gender and not crush on them.
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Anonymous #2
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Hi I'm in the same situation but what I felt helped me is act as if they're a male friend, once I did this I got a lot more comfortable acting and saying stuff you normally wouldn't with the opposite gender and it helps a little because it helps you realise that its just a friendship no more. However, these feelings probably wont go unless you meet someone who infatuates you enough to move on, unless they just fade with time and acceptance.
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