''looks aren't that important''?

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Anonymous #1
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Do girls mean by this that a guy can be fat and still be attractive or do they mean a guy must be 6ft, muscular, ripped, chiseled looks and romantic, very nice, selfless, educated, etc.

It seems to me most guys are looking for someone who is kinda attractive and kinda decent but women want perfection!
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Do girls mean by this that a guy can be fat and still be attractive or do they mean a guy must be 6ft, muscular, ripped, chiseled looks and romantic, very nice, selfless, educated, etc.

It seems to me most guys are looking for someone who is kinda attractive and kinda decent but women want perfection!
In my opinion it's the other way round, for many girls they prefer personality over looks so they're more likely to settle down with a decent looking guy. A guy could be over 6ft and be very attractive but if his personality is shite then he starts to become ugly in our eyes. Of course no one wants to be with someone that they find ugly so that's why girls say looks aren't THAT important, but if a guy has a banging personality then he starts to become more attractive to us
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grovsey
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I think that as you get to know someone the way attractiveness is perceived changes. At the start, when they barely know you it'll be based on looks. But if you get to know someone and they have a great personality I have found that somehow themselves as a whole and their looks seem more attractive (despite their appearance not changing whatsoever).
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Anonymous #3
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I have never in my entire life heard anyone in real life claim that "looks aren't that important". Only weird and unrepresentative people on the internet say stuff like that. Looks are clearly very important.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
In my opinion it's the other way round, for many girls they prefer personality over looks so they're more likely to settle down with a decent looking guy. A guy could be over 6ft and be very attractive but if his personality is shite then he starts to become ugly in our eyes. Of course no one wants to be with someone that they find ugly so that's why girls say looks aren't THAT important, but if a guy has a banging personality then he starts to become more attractive to us
then why do girls obsess so much over small physical flaws? you never hear guys criticise a girl's body because she has cellulite or some other minor flaw. But girls DO! they are relentlessly critical and care so much about superficial stuff in looks... I am more self-concious around women because I observe how they talk about looks and it's .... scary
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have never in my entire life heard anyone in real life claim that "looks aren't that important". Only weird and unrepresentative people on the internet say stuff like that. Looks are clearly very important.
I have...? numerous times, I recall even really beautiful women saying this phrase exactly and in a even stronger form (looks don't matter)
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have...? numerous times, I recall even really beautiful women saying this phrase exactly and in a even stronger form (looks don't matter)
I've never heard any woman say that ever, tbh. But fair enough, I can certainly believe that there will be people out there who say that.

They are likely lying because they think it will make them look good. I'm willing to bet that those "beautiful women" that you know put a lot of time, money, and effort into their looks, eg with clothes, make-up etc. They wouldn't do this if they truly believed those things didn't matter.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
then why do girls obsess so much over small physical flaws? you never hear guys criticise a girl's body because she has cellulite or some other minor flaw. But girls DO! they are relentlessly critical and care so much about superficial stuff in looks... I am more self-concious around women because I observe how they talk about looks and it's .... scary
because we see it on ourselves, it's our body of course we're gonna be much more critical about ourselves because we stare in the mirror just picking at things we dont like. We don't stare deeply at others like we do to ourselves, there's so many things im insecure of that im sure many people dont even realise or see, but because I am the one seeing it every single day i've grown to dislike it if that makes sense
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've never heard any woman say that ever, tbh. But fair enough, I can certainly believe that there will be people out there who say that.

They are likely lying because they think it will make them look good. I'm willing to bet that those "beautiful women" that you know put a lot of time, money, and effort into their looks, eg with clothes, make-up etc. They wouldn't do this if they truly believed those things didn't matter.
it honestly depends on the person, many really don't care that much as long as he has a good personality but yeah of course many others do care about looks but its just preference, just like how everyone has a different type, someone you may find ugly another person may find them beautiful it's all just preference
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jenerous
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The reason why the above quote is used is to signify that looks are less likely to matter in a relationship, in the long run, than personality and compatibility.
Why individual girls or boys use it is completely up to their judgement.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by jenerous)
The reason why the above quote is used is to signify that looks are less likely to matter in a relationship, in the long run, than personality and compatibility.
Why individual girls or boys use it is completely up to their judgement.
But someone is highly unlikely to date a woman/man that they aren't physically attracted to in the first place. Clearly you need personalities to be compatible too, but someone with a "compatible personality" but no physical attraction is a friendship not a relationship.
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jenerous
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But someone is highly unlikely to date a woman/man that they aren't physically attracted to in the first place. Clearly you need personalities to be compatible too, but someone with a "compatible personality" but no physical attraction is a friendship not a relationship.
Right. That's why I emphasised 'in the long run'. It definitely is important as the starting point for a relationship and indeed in its formation/maintenance stage.
But after a while, everyone gets used to the partner's 'looks', and will care more about how they feel around them, than whether or not they're cute or whatever.
Last edited by jenerous; 3 months ago
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username5173262
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Looks are very important especially in the beginning of a relationship (and keeping the spark alive), so no, you can't justify being fat by having a good personality. :yy:
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Anonymous #4
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overweight people are unnatractive. Even science shows that they are. The brutal truth is you need to be healthy and strong
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Zarek
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You forget that attractiveness is both appearance and personality and although everyone may aspire to go out with models what you can achieve is also in the equation
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_gcx
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My reading of this post was "when a girl says looks aren't important, does that mean I need to literally be GigaChad?".

Looks are going to be at least a minor factor for most people, the point is that if you are reasonable looking and a decent person you'll find someone. (and quite often even if not) You might find it easier to get into relationships with just looks but they'll be considerable shorter than they should be if you're an ass or boring.
Last edited by _gcx; 3 months ago
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Son of the Sea
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(Original post by V℮rsions)
Looks are very important especially in the beginning of a relationship (and keeping the spark alive), so no, you can't justify being fat by having a good personality. :yy:
Lmaooooo this made me laugh more than it should have.
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
In my opinion it's the other way round, for many girls they prefer personality over looks so they're more likely to settle down with a decent looking guy. A guy could be over 6ft and be very attractive but if his personality is shite then he starts to become ugly in our eyes. Of course no one wants to be with someone that they find ugly so that's why girls say looks aren't THAT important, but if a guy has a banging personality then he starts to become more attractive to us
Lol it's a fact that it's not the other way round. There's plenty of surveys that prove that men are far more likely to settle for 80% of what they want in a potential partner than women and the reasoning that many gave was because that they didn't like the idea of 'settling'.
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londonmyst
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Depends on the individuals, the type of relationship arrangement that they are interested in and their specific dealbreakers.
In terms of sexual attraction, looks and physical elements are very relevant initial factors for most sighted people.
Most people do have some initial looks connected dealbreakers or preferences that any potential partner must meet.
Of course, some people are more looks orientated than others or exclusively attracted to a specific physical type.
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