The Student Room Group

I messed up my future

when I had just finished year 12 I was preparing for what I should do to improve my personal statement. I was very passionate about doing engineering at uni and knew that I wanted to apply to oxbridge.

when my dad found out he was shocked. he got so mad at me. I cant be bothered to explain his reasoning but every day during that summer he would remind me how deluded I am and that I should take something meaningful like computer science or go into the finance industry because thats where the money is. he is an accountant himself and would get his colleagues on the phone to me to convince me why I should consider going into finance. I cried pretty much every day that summer. my mum just watched and felt sorry for me but didn't bother helping me in any way.

I got so fed up. I had lost all passion to take engineering.i didn't have any desire to do anything anymore so in year 13 I applied for accounting and finance. by about November my dad so how depressed. I had become and said that I can apply for engineering and do what I want. I wanted to cry at those words. I hated him.

I have now finished year 13. I have got into a really good uni to do accouting and finance but the thought of starting uni depresses me so much. I have no desire to become an accountant.

the problem is I dont know what to do. I dont want to do an engineering degree anymore and theres no job I really want to do. I dont know if I should take a gap year I will proababy just end up wasting the year because I dont know what to do. I feel so lost.
If you are so unsure of what you want to do i would take a gap year.You can do placements,work experiences on the gap year in different sectors to find out what you like.There is no point rushing into something you don't feel committed to or don't like.The time to yourself in the year off can also help you make better decisions. Hope this helps
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
when I had just finished year 12 I was preparing for what I should do to improve my personal statement. I was very passionate about doing engineering at uni and knew that I wanted to apply to oxbridge.

when my dad found out he was shocked. he got so mad at me. I cant be bothered to explain his reasoning but every day during that summer he would remind me how deluded I am and that I should take something meaningful like computer science or go into the finance industry because thats where the money is. he is an accountant himself and would get his colleagues on the phone to me to convince me why I should consider going into finance. I cried pretty much every day that summer. my mum just watched and felt sorry for me but didn't bother helping me in any way.

I got so fed up. I had lost all passion to take engineering.i didn't have any desire to do anything anymore so in year 13 I applied for accounting and finance. by about November my dad so how depressed. I had become and said that I can apply for engineering and do what I want. I wanted to cry at those words. I hated him.

I have now finished year 13. I have got into a really good uni to do accouting and finance but the thought of starting uni depresses me so much. I have no desire to become an accountant.

the problem is I dont know what to do. I dont want to do an engineering degree anymore and theres no job I really want to do. I dont know if I should take a gap year I will proababy just end up wasting the year because I dont know what to do. I feel so lost.

Wow that's rough . I can't really decide for you but I can tell you what I would do . I would just make choose a course and make the most out of it . I understand that without the drive to do your course it will be harder to find a reason to continue learning it . I would still choose something though since there are no wrong options really . I don't really think your life is a mess though since you are still given the options that you want to do however it's only your mentality that has changed . I want to believe you can find happiness in someway from any of the courses you choose , good luck .
Original post by Anonymous
when I had just finished year 12 I was preparing for what I should do to improve my personal statement. I was very passionate about doing engineering at uni and knew that I wanted to apply to oxbridge.

when my dad found out he was shocked. he got so mad at me. I cant be bothered to explain his reasoning but every day during that summer he would remind me how deluded I am and that I should take something meaningful like computer science or go into the finance industry because thats where the money is. he is an accountant himself and would get his colleagues on the phone to me to convince me why I should consider going into finance. I cried pretty much every day that summer. my mum just watched and felt sorry for me but didn't bother helping me in any way.

I got so fed up. I had lost all passion to take engineering.i didn't have any desire to do anything anymore so in year 13 I applied for accounting and finance. by about November my dad so how depressed. I had become and said that I can apply for engineering and do what I want. I wanted to cry at those words. I hated him.

I have now finished year 13. I have got into a really good uni to do accouting and finance but the thought of starting uni depresses me so much. I have no desire to become an accountant.

the problem is I dont know what to do. I dont want to do an engineering degree anymore and theres no job I really want to do. I dont know if I should take a gap year I will proababy just end up wasting the year because I dont know what to do. I feel so lost.

I would take a gap year, reapply and reconsider your options regarding whether or not you want to do engineering or accounting and finance. In situations where you feel like you have messed up your life it’s helpful to realise that someone’s life will always be worse than your own.

I have been unemployed for well over three years now and I am essentially unemployable and may be on the verge of homelessness if I fail my first year of university (which I probably will). So yeah, you could be in a much worse position than you are at the moment!
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
If you are so unsure of what you want to do i would take a gap year.You can do placements,work experiences on the gap year in different sectors to find out what you like.There is no point rushing into something you don't feel committed to or don't like.The time to yourself in the year off can also help you make better decisions. Hope this helps

what if I dont manage to find work expereince anywhere then it will be a waste. or what if I still dont find out what I want to do
Reply 5
Original post by adrian24
Wow that's rough . I can't really decide for you but I can tell you what I would do . I would just make choose a course and make the most out of it . I understand that without the drive to do your course it will be harder to find a reason to continue learning it . I would still choose something though since there are no wrong options really . I don't really think your life is a mess though since you are still given the options that you want to do however it's only your mentality that has changed . I want to believe you can find happiness in someway from any of the courses you choose , good luck .

thank you.
would you stick with a&f if you were in my position?
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
I would take a gap year, reapply and reconsider your options regarding whether or not you want to do engineering or accounting and finance. In situations where you feel like you have messed up your life it’s helpful to realise that someone’s life will always be worse than your own.

I have been unemployed for well over three years now and I am essentially unemployable and may be on the verge of homelessness if I fail my first year of university (which I probably will). So yeah, you could be in a much worse position than you are at the moment!

I dont want to do either of those courses. I dont know what to reapply for.
yes I know that there will be someone out there in a worse position. when I got into a really good uni for a&f I felt guilty that I wasn't happy because I know so many people would have wanted to be in my position.

im sorry about your situation I hope it works out for you
Most people only get one round of uni funding so don't do something you hate and get stuck in it unable to retrain into anything else. Perhaps consider a gap year, you could get some work experience in jobs you might be interested in to see if you like them (engineering, finance, anything else that floats your boat), get a part time job to earn some savings / general work experience, and even have some fun / maybe travel a little.

All this would help you be more sure of the area you'd want to go into when you next apply, give you great experience for your applications both to uni and beyond, and maybe help you improve your mental health so you can be passionate again when you go into uni. There really is no harm in doing a gap year or not going to uni straight away, especially when you'd be likely to fail / do badly on your course as a result. You'll have like 40 years after uni to build a career, one year out now really won't do you any harm and potentially a lot of good.
You could always get into engineering via clearing or adjustment on results day if you wanted to change course. Don't do a degree that you dont want to do, it will be very hard to stay motivated and you will likely drop out in your first year. Its possible to go back afterwards, as you get 4 years of funding, but better to avoid dropping out in the first place if possible.

Its also possible to get into software engineering if you study a non software engineering degree. But obviously if you want to do civil or aviation engineering, then do one of those courses. I know that it can be tough to go against your parents, but ultimately this is your future so this is probably one of those times you need to weigh up the importance of your future and happiness or pleasing your parents, and then decide which one is more important to you.

Engineering is still a decent degree and your parents will probably come around to the fact after initially being difficult. If you dropped out from your accounting & finance degree, your parents will probably blame you and be angry at you, even if you didnt want to study that. They would always find something to complain about, so my advice is do what you want to do
Original post by Anonymous
what if I dont manage to find work expereince anywhere then it will be a waste. or what if I still dont find out what I want to do

Getting some work experience and a job will be easier now while you are young. There are programs designed for work experience that sometimes don't take those who are over a certain age, whilst basic jobs at supermarkets / restaurants etc may preferentially hire you as the minimum wage is less. It sounds like work xp will be easy enough to obtain in the finance sector at least, seeing as your dad has so many connections.

After uni if you end up hating finance then you're in the position of either working a job you hate or trying to work place like supermarkets etc (and may find it harder getting employed in these due to being overqualified and cost more to pay than someone younger).
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
when I had just finished year 12 I was preparing for what I should do to improve my personal statement. I was very passionate about doing engineering at uni and knew that I wanted to apply to oxbridge.

when my dad found out he was shocked. he got so mad at me. I cant be bothered to explain his reasoning but every day during that summer he would remind me how deluded I am and that I should take something meaningful like computer science or go into the finance industry because thats where the money is. he is an accountant himself and would get his colleagues on the phone to me to convince me why I should consider going into finance. I cried pretty much every day that summer. my mum just watched and felt sorry for me but didn't bother helping me in any way.

I got so fed up. I had lost all passion to take engineering.i didn't have any desire to do anything anymore so in year 13 I applied for accounting and finance. by about November my dad so how depressed. I had become and said that I can apply for engineering and do what I want. I wanted to cry at those words. I hated him.

I have now finished year 13. I have got into a really good uni to do accouting and finance but the thought of starting uni depresses me so much. I have no desire to become an accountant.

the problem is I dont know what to do. I dont want to do an engineering degree anymore and theres no job I really want to do. I dont know if I should take a gap year I will proababy just end up wasting the year because I dont know what to do. I feel so lost.


Which offers are you holding at the moment?

What do you have in GCSEs and which A Levels are you likely to get (subjects, grades)?

I'm wondering whether what would make you happy would be to apply to Oxbridge for Engineering in the next normal application round.

What appeals to you about Engineering and which branch of Engineering appeals in particular?
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Kerzen
Which offers are you holding at the moment?

What do you have in GCSEs and which A Levels are you likely to get (subjects, grades)?

I'm wondering whether what would make you happy would be to apply to Oxbridge for Engineering in the next normal application round.

What appeals to you about Engineering and which branch of Engineering appeals in particular?

im currently holding offers for a&f at Russel group unis
I got eight 9's two 8's and an A^ in fm
im predicted 4A*s in maths fm physics and econ

I have kinda lost hope in engineering I dont really find it that appealing anymore. I originally was going to apply for aerospace/mechanical (I hadn't yet decided as I stopped looking further into it)
this is what im most scared of. if I do a&f what if I end up hating my life
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
im currently holding offers for a&f at Russel group unis
I got eight 9's two 8's and an A^ in fm
im predicted 4A*s in maths fm physics and econ

I have kinda lost hope in engineering I dont really find it that appealing anymore. I originally was going to apply for aerospace/mechanical (I hadn't yet decided as I stopped looking further into it)


When you sit and daydream about your life when you are older, say, your mid thirties, how do you imagine your life to be? You may well be working full time at that point - when you imagine setting off for work in the morning, what kind of job would you be going out to in an ideal world?
Original post by Anonymous
this is what im most scared of. if I do a&f what if I end up hating my life

Don't do a degree in A and f - you've NOT messed up your life.

Do some research on career choices: https://www.theuniguide.co.uk/a-level-explorer/economics/further-mathematics/mathematics/physics?o=3102

There will be plenty of options in clearing
Original post by Anonymous
I dont want to do either of those courses. I dont know what to reapply for.
yes I know that there will be someone out there in a worse position. when I got into a really good uni for a&f I felt guilty that I wasn't happy because I know so many people would have wanted to be in my position.

im sorry about your situation I hope it works out for you

I would take a gap year and gain work experience programmes in both engineering and a&f. You could apply for apprenticeships in things you’re interested in as well
School isn't everything

Exams aren't everything

Uni isn't everything

Getting a degree isn't everything


Maybe you could speak to your mum about other options not involving the above
Original post by Anonymous
School isn't everything

Exams aren't everything

Uni isn't everything

Getting a degree isn't everything


Maybe you could speak to your mum about other options not involving the above

nah I cant talk to my parents about it
my mum is really happy with the uni I got in to and wants me to go
Original post by Anonymous
nah I cant talk to my parents about it
my mum is really happy with the uni I got in to and wants me to go

If you want to go uni then go but if you don't then don't go
Original post by Anonymous
this is what im most scared of. if I do a&f what if I end up hating my life

Perhaps you make some of the subjects that you think of applying for but are afraid of seem worse than they actually are . From what I can see from your results you seem to be a hard worker and want to achieve something in life . What people tend to do is when they are given a situation where they have to make a decision that they might end up regretting is instead of making that decision they just avoid or run away from it because they think things will be the same way they were before if they don't decide anything . Well... even doing nothing can be considered making a decision . What I'm saying is who knows what you will choose? Maybe along the journey of the subject you choose you might meet life long friends or something lol . Oh and regarding your first question sure I would be down for finance since the path for it doesn't seem that bad really .

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