The Student Room Group

has she just led me on? if so, i don’t want contact with her

Matched with an old friend on Hinge after she left a flirty comment on my post. Hadn’t spoken in two years. Started flirting and she told me we should go out. We texted for the next two days talking about this day out to Brighton where her favourite restaurant is and then watching a film later. She banged on about how it’ll be so fun, how she misses my face etc. She went into details about where we’d meet and how we’d get there, the shops she wants to take me to. I realise we hadn’t even arranged a date or time and we’d been talking about this date for the last two days. I texted saying “let’s not waste anymore time then and arrange a date?” She replied with “I don’t know when I’m free rn. I have Uni assignments to complete so I’ll get back to you”. I had an experience with a girl before who said things like this so this just makes me think she’s gonna mess me around. I’m not saying anything to her as the ball is in her court but considering we were friends and then she matched me into flirtatiously asking me on a date to a posh restaurant in Brighton which she wouldn’t stop going on about. Is she actually not messing me around or if she is, why would she do that to someone who was a friend of hers and was there for her at school?
Maybe she just wants to talk to someone and as for the messing around you will know her more than us and tbf u shud ask her why she is acting as ya say.. but it may be her eagerness as to not lose your interest im no expert in these things btw.
Reply 2
You’re right it’s bad form, who knows what’s going on, but I agree with leaving the ball firmly in her court
The only way youd know is if you ask her
Original post by Official Bedhead
Matched with an old friend on Hinge after she left a flirty comment on my post. Hadn’t spoken in two years. Started flirting and she told me we should go out. We texted for the next two days talking about this day out to Brighton where her favourite restaurant is and then watching a film later. She banged on about how it’ll be so fun, how she misses my face etc. She went into details about where we’d meet and how we’d get there, the shops she wants to take me to. I realise we hadn’t even arranged a date or time and we’d been talking about this date for the last two days. I texted saying “let’s not waste anymore time then and arrange a date?” She replied with “I don’t know when I’m free rn. I have Uni assignments to complete so I’ll get back to you”. I had an experience with a girl before who said things like this so this just makes me think she’s gonna mess me around. I’m not saying anything to her as the ball is in her court but considering we were friends and then she matched me into flirtatiously asking me on a date to a posh restaurant in Brighton which she wouldn’t stop going on about. Is she actually not messing me around or if she is, why would she do that to someone who was a friend of hers and was there for her at school?

Is it not right now kind of the period when there are lots of assignments due? It she doing a masters, or an undergrad?

She might be telling the truth, just has very poor grasp of time management and priorities that causes her to dream up plans despite already having commitments.

In either case, do not put your life on hold for her. Or anyone who hasn't got their act together. Doesn't matter what their reason is to be frank. It doesn't make them bad people, but it doesn't mean you should slow your pace for them either.
Original post by NonIndigenous
Is it not right now kind of the period when there are lots of assignments due? It she doing a masters, or an undergrad?

She might be telling the truth, just has very poor grasp of time management and priorities that causes her to dream up plans despite already having commitments.

In either case, do not put your life on hold for her. Or anyone who hasn't got their act together. Doesn't matter what their reason is to be frank. It doesn't make them bad people, but it doesn't mean you should slow your pace for them either.

^ Good advice. Don't get mad at her; that would be completely unproductive. She's almost certainly being scatterbrained, not malicious.
Wouldn’t say she’s led you on

Yet.............

You say she was your old friend? How was that friendship like then.. I’m guessing at the time, you didn’t see her that way?

It’s rather unusual that she’s taking the lead - very rarely I’ve seen a girl do that ngl.. but at the same time, you do already pretty much know her..


The ball is in your court more like.. lol
If you pick up the ball and play with it too soon, you’re setting yourself up for failure there ngl...

Just give her time and see where she’s at.

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