Girl who’s never had guy friends

Hi, I’m an 18 year old girl who’s never had a significant male friend. I went to a girl school for both primary and secondary but in sixth form I was at a boys school and even THEN, at most I’d have conversations with them. Back at my girls school there were still girls who had good guy friends with the male version of our school.

So my question is, what does it mean if a girl can’t make guy friends?
What do guys look for in making female friends? Why can’t I make any guy friends?

Online some seem to think that guys can only be friends with girls if they think they’re somewhat attractive. I’m not going to lie for the purposes of an accurate response so I will go ahead and say that I am fairly attractive at the least. So why can’t I make any guy friends, (it’s developed into a new sort of insecurity). Would making male friends help once I go to university even if I haven’t been the best at it before?

Reply 1

ważzer

11

What is your definition of making a friend?

Reply 2

shooonthebeat

21

This could be true. Also it might just be that you've always been surrounded by girls so much that you just don't feel as comfortable talking to guys. Making male friends might be easier for you at uni as it's a much more diverse place with a lot of different people.

Reply 3

username1177050

20

I think when you go to university then you will be placed in a mixed sex environment and you will see that men are just people aswell, and some you will have stuff in common with, others you won't. If your in halls then it will be easy to make friends with them because you will come into contact with them regularly. i wouldnt worry really, just be yourself at uni and you will make friends with lots of different people

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

But I’ve seen guys get rlly close to other attractive girls? (Some, my friends) In this case what would make me unapproachable?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ważzer

What is your definition of making a friend?

Just going out together and not making it a relationship and not having sexual tension or anything like that. A guy who’s just there and sees u as a friend and nothing else. Simply a guy who’d enjoy your company.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by neal95

I think when you go to university then you will be placed in a mixed sex environment and you will see that men are just people aswell, and some you will have stuff in common with, others you won't. If your in halls then it will be easy to make friends with them because you will come into contact with them regularly. i wouldnt worry really, just be yourself at uni and you will make friends with lots of different people

Thanks for this :smile:

any tips for making friends at uni? (I’m going to a really unsociable one)

Reply 7

username1177050

20

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for this :smile:

any tips for making friends at uni? (I’m going to a really unsociable one)

I guess you could be an organiser type person who sees it others want to hang out or do stuff by knocking on their door and chatting with them. That way you introduce yourself and can let them know that you are thinking of organising some cocktails or something and if they want to hang out.

Or you could join a university society, something that you are interested in perhaps. It’s possible to find something completely new, but if you have a shared enjoyment of a hobby or sport etc, it’s often easy to find common ground with people and become friends that way

Reply 8

username5746816

7

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I’m an 18 year old girl who’s never had a significant male friend. I went to a girl school for both primary and secondary but in sixth form I was at a boys school and even THEN, at most I’d have conversations with them. Back at my girls school there were still girls who had good guy friends with the male version of our school.

So my question is, what does it mean if a girl can’t make guy friends?
What do guys look for in making female friends? Why can’t I make any guy friends?

Online some seem to think that guys can only be friends with girls if they think they’re somewhat attractive. I’m not going to lie for the purposes of an accurate response so I will go ahead and say that I am fairly attractive at the least. So why can’t I make any guy friends, (it’s developed into a new sort of insecurity). Would making male friends help once I go to university even if I haven’t been the best at it before?

Most guys will only be friends with you if they see something there in terms of a potential relationship, otherwise, there's no real point for us to make female friends.

Reply 9

username5746816

7

Original post by Anonymous

Just going out together and not making it a relationship and not having sexual tension or anything like that. A guy who’s just there and sees u as a friend and nothing else. Simply a guy who’d enjoy your company.

Rare.

Reply 10

Sha-ney-ney

11

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for this :smile:

any tips for making friends at uni? (I’m going to a really unsociable one)

You will undoubtedly make friends in a university of all types. Remember that everyone will be new together and they will all be seeking to make friends and friendships. Don't get too worried about it especially if you think that you are off to a slow start. You will get plenty of opportunities to try new things like sports clubs and societies that will allow you to make friends and meet people.

One piece of advice I can give you is that the quality of the friends you make is more important than the quantity. Being popular is not the same as being liked...

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 11

shooonthebeat

21

Original post by Synergy58

Most guys will only be friends with you if they see something there in terms of a potential relationship, otherwise, there's no real point for us to make female friends.

Not true at all. I have female friends who I have no intention of being in a relationship with. A lot of my males friends do too. If you can be friends with males then why not females? Women aren't just there for us to ****, they can be good friends too.

Reply 12

username5746816

7

Original post by shooonthebeat

Not true at all. I have female friends who I have no intention of being in a relationship with. A lot of my males friends do too. If you can be friends with males then why not females? Women aren't just there for us to ****, they can be good friends too.

Definitely not been my experience but hey, too each their own.

Reply 13

OctoberRain7

15

Most of my friends are male, and I would hope they don't find me attractive. For whatever reason I tend to socialise better with men but I don't think there's any great secret to male friendship, I just treat people the same no matter what their gender. I don't think that not having male friends really says anything about you other than that maybe that kind of friendship isn't suited to your personality or you just haven't happened to find a guy you got along with well.

Reply 14

username5326522

21

Ive never had a male friend since year 2. It's not that bad. But yeah it is kinda strange that we haven't had any guy friends.

Reply 15

Meritina

3

It might not be you and a guy thing. I find as I have gotten older that making friends is a hard thing to do anyway. Most of our friends in life come from our educational institutions, once you leave school it becomes more difficult to interact with people on the same wavelength as people more often than not are caught up in their own life and maturing as people. You can make friends later on in life at work but I would class these more as work friends and acquaintances than real life friends.

What helped me (even though it may sound strange) was to use the dating app 'Bumble'. I wasn't necessarily looking for someone to date, I was just looking to meet new people. A lot of people on that app are open minded anyway but of course you will come across the occasional weirdo. I used it to improve my social skills and it worked. I made quite a lot of good friends from using it, and although it may be intimidating at first, you soon get used to it.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 16

Chicken.M.

20

Yeah it will be easier at University. You haven't been in an environment that's conducive to making friends yet tbh. 6th form isn't even good for making friends everyone is super cliquey lol.

In University everyone will be new and it's seen as normal to literally ask anyone for their number, especially in the first few months and you can make friends that way.

(edited 2 years ago)

Girl who’s never had guy friends

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