I think my dad is self-harming TW

I lost my mum 2 years ago. My siblings, my dad and I all received bereavement counselling. My dad didn't do the full course of 8 week counselling.

Today, for the past month. My dads health and mental health is getting worse. He had two heart attacks and is obese. My siblings and I are doing are best but my dad doesn't want to get help. He is very rude towards us and sees us as the enemy. When all we care about is his health and safety.

When I was watching TV with my dad. I noticed around 3-5 plasters on his hand. I found it strange.

So when the show ended I mentioned whether the cat scratched up his hand. But his reply was " I don't know how the cuts got there...it suddenly came up on my hand".

I know my dad is still grieving for his wife. But he keeps everything to himself. He pushes us away and I am very scared to even talk to him...It's just impossible now.

I think my dad is now self harming . He never treated my late mother right either and I think he feels guilty.

I called GPs, charities like Mind,Samaritans and therapists for help and advice. All they say is that the person who wants help has to get help themselves.

I don't know what to do. I've had seizures myself because of all of the stress that I'm feeling. I have no one to talk to.

I think my dad is self harming, do you have any advice. This is the first time I've spotted it.

Please help me :frown:

Be Kind, thank you

Reply 1

SlaveofAll

Do you have any medical expert near you?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by SlaveofAll

Do you have any medical expert near you?

I have my local GP who I've called before and they say that the person who needs help has to get help themselves. I've done the same things with charities and they all say the same thing.

My dad doesn't want help, he doesn't believe it will help him.

Reply 3

SlaveofAll

Original post by Anonymous

What about neighbors that care about him?

How old are you?

Original post by SlaveofAll

What about neighbors that care about him?

theres no one apart from my siblings and I. Not even family they always use him for their own needs but when my dad is struggling they're not there to help. All they will say is 'stay strong'.

Staying strong is only words, its really easy to say this to someone whose lost their parent but its hard to stay strong anymore when you see your last parent in so much pain. And you can't take action or do something to help them.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Kerzen

How old are you?

im in my 20s

Reply 7

SlaveofAll

Original post by Anonymous

Think of the institutions you haven't called for help yet. Who knows? This time might be different from what you've experienced. Call as many of them as you can, and if you still get the same response, a call to a hospital might be your last resort.

Reply 8

Kerzen

Original post by Anonymous

im in my 20s

Have you referred yourself to IAPT?

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/Psychological%20therapies%20(IAPT)/LocationSearch/10008

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by SlaveofAll

Of course she will get the same response. And you can't just call up a hospital - it doesn't work like that in the UK.

OP, I'm really sorry for all you are going through - it sounds like things have been really tough based on the multiple threads you have made about this. Are you getting any support yourself at the moment? It sounds like you are quite stressed and maybe talking to someone about your own feelings might be helpful? I really don't think there is much you can do for your dad other than make it clear to him that you are there for him and willing to support him. He needs to make the decision to get help himself, no one can force him to do that (and constantly telling him to do that might actually have the opposite effect).