Is this wrong?

I'm trans (ftm) but I'm only out to one person and no one irl.

I made a new snap earlier with my name and my bitmojis a guy. I added a girl and she asked who I am and I just told her that I added her from quick add (which is true). We texted about random stuff and she asked what I looked like so I snapped her and she believed I was a cis guy and that made me pretty happy tbh.
We snapped a bit then she said she had to go and said night to me.

And yeah it felt really good that I could be me and that she only sees me as my name and he/him.

But I wanna know if this is wrong me making her think I'm cis? Idk how she thinks that tho ig I have a male looking face?

No we wasn't flirting, we just were talking about tv shows tbh.

But yeah if we were gonna date ofc id tell her.

this isn't wrong at all. she's legit a rando you just met, not even a friend. friends dont need to know that. get a grip on yourself mate, imagine you told every person you talked to in passing you're trans, you know how dangerous that is. you don't owe a stranger (at all) or a friend (unless you really want to tell her). you don't owe a girl you just met the knowledge of who you are your journey. do you think i (a cis girl w a short haircut) tell everyone i'm a girl everytime i see them, no, because it isn't relevant. if you're flirting, getting into a relationship, then totally, she should be told. what if she isnt into that and she's wasting your time?

tl;dr - you don't owe a stranger that kind of info, bc that isn't relevant at all if you're just friends. it could also be dangerous 4 u

I'm trans (ftm) but I'm only out to one person and no one irl.

I made a new snap earlier with my name and my bitmojis a guy. I added a girl and she asked who I am and I just told her that I added her from quick add (which is true). We texted about random stuff and she asked what I looked like so I snapped her and she believed I was a cis guy and that made me pretty happy tbh.
We snapped a bit then she said she had to go and said night to me.

And yeah it felt really good that I could be me and that she only sees me as my name and he/him.

But I wanna know if this is wrong me making her think I'm cis? Idk how she thinks that tho ig I have a male looking face?

I feel like this is where it starts becoming problematic......


Say I was talking to a trans person.. if they started talking to me frequently, feelings will develop, whether that be friendship wise or more than that. Something develops. Especially if this person is a girl, she might mistakenly put you into the “interested/talking” stage.. So i personally think for her not to fall into any unwanted traps, she should state it, or at least say if or when they start talking frequently.....

this is so stupid. how is she supposed to know you're falling for her.

that's entirely on you. just talking to a girl isn't enough for you to be entitled to that identity. is every lesbian at your workplace now required to tell you their sexuality in case you fall in love?

is every woman with fertility issues in your group project required to tell you that incase you catch feelings and want to have kids sometime in the future?

is your flatmate required to tell you she already has a boyfriend in case you start liking her? see how stupid you sound.

you're in a situation with a girl where whatever genitals you have literally don't matter because she doesn't care about what's in your pants if you guys are talking about school, movies etc. friends don't care about that ****. they have no relevance

Who?



Well, if I was talking to a lesbian, I’d appreciate her telling me that’s what she is rather than fall into an emotional mess for no reason. (As we got closer and closer). Preferably as we get to know each other.. This is emotional abuse to be withholding information away from me like that. If they were a proud lesbian, they would even say it to me. In comparison to OP’s post, I would expect them to disclose their sexuality to me early on so I don’t spiral into an emotional mess because of this facade.



Good point. For this one, but my point still holds.. As we talk, I’d want her to disclose that information with me, if she did see us as having babies together. I’d then accept that it’s out of my hands, and we will make a solution to it.




lol, I mean, I’d hope she did..... if I was to move to her or talk to her frequently, I would want her to say “sorry I have a boyfriend” or “oh, I have a boyfriend named X btw” or even hint that she’s taken rather than be caught up emotionally, for absolutely no reason. I will feel very played and feel like I wasted time. In comparison to OP’s post, if this girl did not say she was taken, and was talking to me frequently, I might put her in the “interested stage” but imagine doing something like that when it’s not even what I signed up for.





Well, feelings do develop... it’s quite random for someone to add you like that. This girl has to make a judgement on which category to put them in, and if she puts them in an “interested” stage and then later finds out that it’s not what she’s actually interested in because of OP withholding information like that, she will feel very played and lead on. It’s called being dishonest...

how surprising, every single one of my points still stand too. every time, you're saying that "when we start talking", "when we get together", a clear romantic implication there. which is fair, in a romantic relationship, the body you have is important. this isn't op's case. they clearly only are friends. they're talking about movies ffs. there's no relevance with the sex of op, at all. i have all sorts of people on snap and despite what you may think, its common for girls and boys to talk without a hint of romance.

and you need to understand that it's not up to you to decide what makes someone a "proud lesbian." same way it's your not right to demand personal information about someone's genitals for christ's sake, or their sexuality or their relationship status when you are clearly just friends. of course of course of course, if you're going on dates, flirting, then yes op should spare both parties' possible heartbreak by telling them early on.

the main thing you aren't understanding here, is that simply talking to a woman does not mean that things are going to get romantic later on. you said that talking to a woman who might not be a match for you isn't what you "signed up for". did you sign anything? did she sign anything? did she say she wanted a future with you? did she say she wants to date you? here she is, working as your colleague, being friends/acquaintances and you're demanding she disclose all these personal deal-breakers.

how surprising, every single one of my points still stand too.

every time, you're saying that "when we start talking", "when we get together", a clear romantic implication there. which is fair, in a romantic relationship, the body you have is important. this isn't op's case. they clearly only are friends.

they're talking about movies ffs. there's no relevance with the sex of op, at all. i have all sorts of people on snap and despite what you may think, its common for girls and boys to talk without a hint of romance.

and you need to understand that it's not up to you to decide what makes someone a "proud lesbian." same way it's your not right to demand personal information about someone's genitals for christ's sake, or their sexuality or their relationship status when you are clearly just friends.

of course of course of course, if you're going on dates, flirting, then yes op should spare both parties' possible heartbreak by telling them early on.

the main thing you aren't understanding here, is that simply talking to a woman does not mean that things are going to get romantic later on.

you said that talking to a woman who might not be a match for you isn't what you "signed up for".

did you sign anything? did she sign anything? did she say she wanted a future with you? did she say she wants to date you?

here she is, working as your colleague, being friends/acquaintances and you're demanding she disclose all these personal deal-breakers.

CaptainDuckie acts like the absolute worst thing that could ever happen is that his feelings got a little bit snubbed.

Trans people risk so much more with their feelings - and their safety - whenever they come out to someone.

I'd say no, there's no need to tell her because like some other people have said, unless you are very close to someone or feel comfortable, there is no reason to disclose information you don't feel like sharing.

Let's say I'm talking to a guy and he gets the feels for me. Just because I'm straight but talk to them a lot doesn't mean I'm leading them on!

So from my view, no, you don't need to tell them because you have done nothing wrong! And you are an amazing person and do not owe anyone anything. If her mistaking you as a cis guy makes you happy, then go for it!

It is perfectly possible she was looking for a friend as myself - who lacks friends - also does that same and no, I don't just catch feelings with a random guy who I talk to over the phone just because they're nice!