I do want to forgive him, I already have. I get what he was going through.
I've always loved kittens, but never had one as a pet for long and Guy A knew that. For my last bday he wanted to surprise me with one. He drove everywhere in town to find one "cute enough for me", and he didnt find the perfect one according to him. When I found out, I told him that it was too much and I'd rather just have a card if he really wanted to get me something, and he said "I'm your goddamn husband, its my job to make your dreams come true, and imma make each of em come true, one at a time", and it meant so much to me. He saved up for a few months and then drove to another town a bit further away (since one of his cousins said they had cute pets there), and then bought me one.
When his parents would fight sometimes, it would bother him a lot. he couldnt tell any of his friends cause they'd think less of him, he didnt trust anyone as much as me, and he'd tell me about it, just talk all night, and id make him feel better. we promised to each other, that when we'd have a lil kid of our own we'd love him/her with all our heart, and never fight like that. When he asked me to marry him, I didnt think twice, I know I'm young but we planned our wedding which would only happen after probably 6 more years. Every detail, from inviting our friends and family, to how he'd blush when he'd see me. I'd never felt this way about anyone before. I was so sure it was him, made for me. But from the things he's told others about me, when he's angry it just hurts so bad. Makes me question whether it was all a lie, just in my head.