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He suddenly removed me on Snapchat

I been talking to a guy for few months. We have great conversation. We liked one another and even reached to the point of getting to know and figuring each other more. He’s mentally unstable by the way. He told me that on the very first, he was bullied during his school days. He told me he hasn’t dated again since he was in his secondary years. Fast forward, few weeks ago he started to become somewhat “cold” in his replies. He told me that he’s mental health caused him to act like he’s kinda shattered and blunt. I asked him what went wrong, like is he trying to talk with another girl? I even told him to tell me whats really the truth behind his actions. He told me that nothing has changed how he felt for me, and he’s sorry if I feel bad about it. He explained nothings wrong, and asked me to be patient. He told me he isnt chatting with another girl. It is just his mental health making him like that. I suddenly stopped replying to him because i felt like i dont like his cold interaction towards me. He still views my stories even I left his last message on read and then after a few days I viewed his name on threads and saw “pending”. I tried to talk to him again coz I was thinking he removed me and then I found out he really did removed me. I felt guilty but I also have this question that why would he removed me? Why would he unplug himself from me in that way? Please enlighten me 😢

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Reply 1
Avatar for Ten-Ten
Ten-Ten
19
Well if someone suddenly stopped replying to me and we never spoke again then I would unadd them. He also told you his mental health was the reasoning and your solution was to leave him on read? If anything you’re making it all about you, he has every right to unadd you


Respectfully of course
Reply 2
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Ten-Ten
Well if someone suddenly stopped replying to me and we never spoke again then I would unadd them. He also told you his mental health was the reasoning and your solution was to leave him on read? If anything you’re making it all about you, he has every right to unadd you


Respectfully of course

I think you have a point. It’s not the first time I actually doubted him and have those kind of little fights. I have trust issues, he tried to fix things when we fight. I think he was annoyed the fact that I dont trust him enough. He always told me not to bring unnecessary things to be discussed or argued with because he’s been honest to me he said. But still I have trust issues so I always felt like he’s lying, he’s not being real, that he hides something.
Reply 3
Avatar for Ten-Ten
Ten-Ten
19
Original post by Anonymous
I think you have a point. It’s not the first time I actually doubted him and have those kind of little fights. I have trust issues, he tried to fix things when we fight. I think he was annoyed the fact that I dont trust him enough. He always told me not to bring unnecessary things to be discussed or argued with because he’s been honest to me he said. But still I have trust issues so I always felt like he’s lying, he’s not being real, that he hides something.

I get that but it looks like you let the trust issues of a past relationship affect the present relationship and could eventually ruin future relationships
Reply 4
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Ten-Ten
I get that but it looks like you let the trust issues of a past relationship affect the present relationship and could eventually ruin future relationships

I realized that too, but too late. Now I don’t have any idea how to reach him. We only spoke in snapchat. I didn’t disclose my soc meds and number to him. I miss him a lot.
Reply 5
Avatar for Ten-Ten
Ten-Ten
19
Original post by Anonymous
I realized that too, but too late. Now I don’t have any idea how to reach him. We only spoke in snapchat. I didn’t disclose my soc meds and number to him. I miss him a lot.

Can you still message him despite not being on his friends list. If so then apologise
Reply 6
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
I think his privacy is exclusive to his friends. I can send him messages since I didn’t delete our conversation but there’s no way he can read it.
Reply 7
Avatar for Ten-Ten
Ten-Ten
19
Original post by Anonymous
I think his privacy is exclusive to his friends. I can send him messages since I didn’t delete our conversation but there’s no way he can read it.

Do you have any of his friends on snap
Reply 8
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Ten-Ten
Do you have any of his friends on snap

Sadly I don’t. I was thinking of making another snap so I could add him and maybe he would accept the request but I think maybe he won’t too. He’s not that kind of a person who would accept anyone he doesn’t know.
Reply 9
Avatar for Ten-Ten
Ten-Ten
19
Original post by Anonymous
Sadly I don’t. I was thinking of making another snap so I could add him and maybe he would accept the request but I think maybe he won’t too. He’s not that kind of a person who would accept anyone he doesn’t know.

Other than that I don’t see what else you could do
Original post by Ten-Ten
Other than that I don’t see what else you could do

and would it be a good move for a woman like me to do that like make an account just to reach him? What do you think is the right thing to do?
Original post by Anonymous
and would it be a good move for a woman like me to do that like make an account just to reach him? What do you think is the right thing to do?

I don’t know, kind of seems desperate but it might show that you truly are sorry. I would say give him a break for a while and then try again
he told you reasons why he’s feeling off and you’re jumping steps saying he’s talking to other girls. he dodged a bullet tbh, and I’m sure he’s learnt his lesson not to tell people his life story on the very first meet.

don’t bother trying to contact him again, it’s done.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by CaptainDuckie
he told you reasons why he’s feeling off and you’re jumping steps saying he’s talking to other girls. he dodged a bullet tbh, and I’m sure he’s learnt his lesson not to tell people his life story on the very first meet.

don’t bother trying to contact him again, it’s done.

I know. It’s my first time to get a long with a person who has mental issues. He told me he’s struggling with normal life, he’s dealing it for a long time. He told me he’s hugely messed up. I know I was thinking just for myself, I wasn’t being patient and didn’t understand him more. I’m regretful of what I did because I liked him, I just made things hard for him because of my past relationship. You can’t blame me though, I had a terrible experience with my ex so I was thinking he would the same thing as what my past did to me. I miss him a lot, idk what to do 😢
Original post by Anonymous
I know. It’s my first time to get a long with a person who has mental issues. He told me he’s struggling with normal life, he’s dealing it for a long time. He told me he’s hugely messed up. I know I was thinking just for myself, I wasn’t being patient and didn’t understand him more. I’m regretful of what I did because I liked him, I just made things hard for him because of my past relationship. You can’t blame me though, I had a terrible experience with my ex so I was thinking he would the same thing as what my past did to me. I miss him a lot, idk what to do 😢




Until you learn how to cope with your past, continue relationships.

I’d say just leave it, if he chooses to add you back after his break, he will.

If not, don’t bother.
I don't really like these replies, I see where they're coming from if you take the situation at face value but I don't think it was very fair of him to just unload all of his trauma onto you straight away and start to blame his coldness on his mental health issues. He clearly wasn't ready for a relationship. But saying that, you also knew what you were getting into and could've handled the situation with more sensitivity. The only thing you can really do is work on yourself and move on from him.

Also in regards to the first reply you got, you shouldn't feel bad for leaving him on read just because he struggles with his mental health. It was never your job to look after him or tread on egg shells around him especially since you only knew him for a few months.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by not_0kay
but I don't think it was very fair of him to just unload all of his trauma onto you straight away and start to blame his coldness on his mental health issues.


How isn’t that fair. He’s being honest about it, and even reassured OP he liked her. He even tells her to wait until he’s feeling better.

OP did not acknowledge this and, in fact, jumped to conclusions that he’s messaging another girl

theres nothing more annoying when you’re telling the truth and someone is accusing you of something you are not doing.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by CaptainDuckie
How isn’t that fair. He’s being honest about it, and even reassured OP he liked her.

OP did not acknowledge this and, in fact, jumped to conclusions that he’s messaging another girl

theres nothing more annoying when you’re telling the truth and someone is accusing you of something you are not doing.

I get what you're saying but I've been in the situation before where someone has just dumped a load of their problems onto me. It can be overwhelming, especially if you yourself have stuff going on. Even though he was just being honest about his issues he still has to realise and acknowledge that it's a lot to tell someone and empathy and understanding goes both ways. And as for the stuff about trust, that's why I suggested that the OP try to work on themselves and overcome these trust issues so that it doesn't hold them back in the future.
Original post by not_0kay
I get what you're saying but I've been in the situation before where someone has just dumped a load of their problems onto me. It can be overwhelming, especially if you yourself have stuff going on. Even though he was just being honest about his issues he still has to realise and acknowledge that it's a lot to tell someone and empathy and understanding goes both ways. And as for the stuff about trust, that's why I suggested that the OP try to work on themselves and overcome these trust issues so that it doesn't hold them back in the future.



The guy didn’t dump any load of problems on OP.


He wanted a break, for reasons that are unknown. Only surface level mental health problems. Any person with a functioning mind would know that it will be the best course of action to take.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by CaptainDuckie
The guy didn’t dump any load of problems on OP.


He wanted a break, for reasons that are unknown. Any person with a functioning mind would know that it will be the best course of action to take.

From reading all of the comments and replies on this thread I gathered that this guy was telling the OP a lot of what he was going through at the time. It's 100% okay that he wanted a break, I'm not saying that that's not okay. It's also 100% okay that the OP didn't want to wait. It seems that neither party was ready to be in a relationship and both could've handled this better.

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