My flatmate has got a cat and I’m extremely allergic

Hi guys! Any advice would be massively appreciated. I feel extremely uncomfortable in this situation. As my housemate is using my good nature against me and is trying to manipulate me into getting her own way even if it effects my health.

So i have JUST moved in with a two girls in a privately rented student house. Before i have even officially moved in one of the girls has sprung on me that she’s been given a cat by her boyfriend for their anniversary and it’s coming to live with us ( she wasn’t asking if this is okay, she was telling us this is what was happening). I immediately told her that this couldn’t happen as I’m extremely allergic to cats and have bad asthma.

She went on for about two days in our group chat being extremely manipulative, sending voice notes of her crying, saying how’s it’s been her dream since she was little and that I should just take allergy medication.

She continued to gaslight my allergies by saying her mum lived with cats and she had allergies etc.. when asking her why the cat couldn’t go and live with her mum, she replied “ no because she’s allergic”……

- Allergy tablet do not work for my cat allergies as they are so bad.
- The cat allergies make my asthma dangerous.
- I don’t feel like I should have to be medicated to live in my own house
- I’ve tried to visit friends with cats many times, every single time I have to leave and I’m messed up for days.

She’s continuing to talk about me behind my back to other people, and posting videos of herself online crying, making me sound like a horrible person for not trying the allergy tablets and letting the cat stay.

Just for some added background, in our housing contract it says STRICTLY no pets allowed.

Am I being unreasonable?

(Sorry for this being long- thank you for reading! c: )

You are not being unreasonable. She sounds terrible.

Hi guys! Any advice would be massively appreciated. I feel extremely uncomfortable in this situation. As my housemate is using my good nature against me and is trying to manipulate me into getting her own way even if it effects my health.

So i have JUST moved in with a two girls in a privately rented student house. Before i have even officially moved in one of the girls has sprung on me that she’s been given a cat by her boyfriend for their anniversary and it’s coming to live with us ( she wasn’t asking if this is okay, she was telling us this is what was happening). I immediately told her that this couldn’t happen as I’m extremely allergic to cats and have bad asthma.

She went on for about two days in our group chat being extremely manipulative, sending voice notes of her crying, saying how’s it’s been her dream since she was little and that I should just take allergy medication.

She continued to gaslight my allergies by saying her mum lived with cats and she had allergies etc.. when asking her why the cat couldn’t go and live with her mum, she replied “ no because she’s allergic”……

- Allergy tablet do not work for my cat allergies as they are so bad.
- The cat allergies make my asthma dangerous.
- I don’t feel like I should have to be medicated to live in my own house
- I’ve tried to visit friends with cats many times, every single time I have to leave and I’m messed up for days.

She’s continuing to talk about me behind my back to other people, and posting videos of herself online crying, making me sound like a horrible person for not trying the allergy tablets and letting the cat stay.

Just for some added background, in our housing contract it says STRICTLY no pets allowed.

Am I being unreasonable?

(Sorry for this being long- thank you for reading! c: )

Unfortunately I'm a bit dubious about some of the advice regarding the contractual status of keeping a cat (assuming you are in England). I think it may be one of those occasions where you have to request to be released from the tenancy as you'll have an unpleasant time staying people who think you stole their kitty.

Isn't this illegal? It might be class as attempted assault to to the nature of your condition. If not though you could always just pull up the "No pets allowed" clause. You have no reason to ben over backwards for someone so entitled.

You are not being unreasonable. She sounds terrible.

This is one reason why some places don't allow pets, to be fair to all the occupants, as well as to avoid the potential mess and damage caused by hair, pee and poo, scratching, chewing etc. Where does the other girl stand in this, has she taken sides or is she staying out of it? Can you get her support?

Remind this girl of the "no pets" clause and say that the landlord and uni accommodation office, even though it's private rent, will be informed if she gets the cat. Follow up with exactly that if she goes ahead. Just because she's called a house 'mate' doesn't mean you have to be friends, so stand up for your rights. You should not have your health put at risk because she's a drama queen! Easy to say, but ignore the bullying and manipulation. Or get your own back with a post on the group chat with a vid of you coughing and wheezing saying you were in accidental contact with a cat and this is how it affects you...

And who on earth celebrates an anniversary with a girlfriend, and does it by getting them a cat anyway, notwithstanding she's at uni? She and the bf don't sound too bright.

I have already showed her the no pets allowed part in our contract but she’s saying she doesn’t care and she will pay for any damage or fines etc… she’s being completely unrealistic about the entire situation just because she wants what she wants.

Unfortunately I'm a bit dubious about some of the advice regarding the contractual status of keeping a cat (assuming you are in England). I think it may be one of those occasions where you have to request to be released from the tenancy as you'll have an unpleasant time staying people who think you stole their kitty

It’s bad enough when a young child fake cries for attention, but the thought of a grown woman fake crying makes me want to vomit. Bringing a cat into shared accommodation is irresponsible, reckless and selfish.

I have made it clear that the cat will be unable to stay, she’s now agreed but is continuing to be really manipulating saying the cat is going to help her mental health and that basically I’m being really unreasonable for not trying. She even suggested that maybe the house isn’t a good place for me to live anyways because two cats live next door…. Unbelievable really!

Do you each have your own contract with the landlord or is it joint?

Joint

The worst part is I don’t think she’s fake crying, I think she genuinely is upset. But she’s so clouded by her selfishness and immaturity surround the situation that she isn’t thinking about me or my health, all she’s thinking about is her and what she wants very toxic..

I have already showed her the no pets allowed part in our contract but she’s saying she doesn’t care and she will pay for any damage or fines etc… she’s being completely unrealistic about the entire situation just because she wants what she wants.