Is there a way to recover from ostracism, even if it occurred years ago?
Hello wonderful people!
So I whilst I was helping out in church, the person whom I was working with told me about how someone was ostracised for their political beliefs. This struck similar feelings towards me as I’m sure many people do to varying degrees as well. However, I decided to look at the effects of ostracism and it’s usually negative - such effects are feeling more angry and less of a need to help others.
From mid-2011 until mid-2017, I was very ostracised, almost painstakingly, for essentially being myself. I even dropped out of my hobbies and mostly played video games during those years as an escape and battle my thoughts. Although I had picked up by early 2018, it wasn’t until I joined a church where I feel it fading away effectively. However, I still feel the effects of it because it happened for so long and it had conditioned me to always expect the worse.
I understand people aren’t what they used to be like when they were younger and I don’t hold grudges nearly as much as I did.
How am I still feeling the effects? Well, any sort of rejection I get reinforce those bitter feelings. I know it’s totally wrong to feel this way and that’s why I ask, even though I feel a lot more confident about myself than I ever did, akin to my primary school confidence when I used to participate in so much, how do I fully conquer this bitter feeling that has essentially scarred me?
Any suggestions are oh so welcome from you lovely people!
Many thanks!
So I whilst I was helping out in church, the person whom I was working with told me about how someone was ostracised for their political beliefs. This struck similar feelings towards me as I’m sure many people do to varying degrees as well. However, I decided to look at the effects of ostracism and it’s usually negative - such effects are feeling more angry and less of a need to help others.
From mid-2011 until mid-2017, I was very ostracised, almost painstakingly, for essentially being myself. I even dropped out of my hobbies and mostly played video games during those years as an escape and battle my thoughts. Although I had picked up by early 2018, it wasn’t until I joined a church where I feel it fading away effectively. However, I still feel the effects of it because it happened for so long and it had conditioned me to always expect the worse.
I understand people aren’t what they used to be like when they were younger and I don’t hold grudges nearly as much as I did.
How am I still feeling the effects? Well, any sort of rejection I get reinforce those bitter feelings. I know it’s totally wrong to feel this way and that’s why I ask, even though I feel a lot more confident about myself than I ever did, akin to my primary school confidence when I used to participate in so much, how do I fully conquer this bitter feeling that has essentially scarred me?
Any suggestions are oh so welcome from you lovely people!
Many thanks!
Personally I favour the "good riddance", "incredibly grateful to have escaped" and "its all valuable life experience" attitudes.
Focus on all the positives in your life now, how much happier you are away from all the negativity of the past and your ambitions for the future.
Life is too short to waste on those who are habitually unpleasant, totalitarian or don't deserve any of your time and energy.
Good luck!
Focus on all the positives in your life now, how much happier you are away from all the negativity of the past and your ambitions for the future.
Life is too short to waste on those who are habitually unpleasant, totalitarian or don't deserve any of your time and energy.
Good luck!
Original post by londonmyst
Personally I favour the "good riddance", "incredibly grateful to have escaped" and "its all valuable life experience" attitudes.
Focus on all the positives in your life now, how much happier you are away from all the negativity of the past and your ambitions for the future.
Life is too short to waste on those who are habitually unpleasant, totalitarian or don't deserve any of your time and energy.
Good luck!
Focus on all the positives in your life now, how much happier you are away from all the negativity of the past and your ambitions for the future.
Life is too short to waste on those who are habitually unpleasant, totalitarian or don't deserve any of your time and energy.
Good luck!
Many thanks ☺️
what were the beliefs that caused the ostracism?
Original post by Anonymous
what were the beliefs that caused the ostracism?
I meant beliefs that came from thereof 😅 such as feeling more anger, jealousy and less of a need to help others.
