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My boyfriend gives me the silent treatment for weeks on end

Is this emotional abuse? Because I have been so used to it throughout the whole relationship I thought it was normal, however, my friends have told me that space when arguments occur is normal, but to ignore your partner for weeks is a sign of emotional abuse and unhealthy

PS this is my only long term relationship

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yes it is
Original post by Anonymous
Is this emotional abuse? Because I have been so used to it throughout the whole relationship I thought it was normal, however, my friends have told me that space when arguments occur is normal, but to ignore your partner for weeks is a sign of emotional abuse and unhealthy

PS this is my only long term relationship


That is not normal. It’s not only neglectful to you, it shows he can’t process his emotions properly which is alarming for an adult. He clearly thinks he’s in control and he can do anything and you will stick around. Next time he does it, just don’t go back to him.
Totally not normal. That isn't a kind of relationship you should be in. You need to be in a loving relationship, not one that makes you sad, or on edge in case you 'upset' him again. He needs to grow up and stop throwing his dummy out the pram and actually speak, but instead acting like a petulant child.
If was in your shoes I'd end it and if he asks, just say you would rather have a relationship with celery stick. You would get a much better interaction with that than you do your own boyfriend. Savage, but he deserves it for the way he treats you.
(edited 2 years ago)
Reply 4
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
Is this emotional abuse? Because I have been so used to it throughout the whole relationship I thought it was normal, however, my friends have told me that space when arguments occur is normal, but to ignore your partner for weeks is a sign of emotional abuse and unhealthy

PS this is my only long term relationship


Thank you guys, may I also ask, is it normal to not speak to your partner everyday or throughout the day when things are on good terms? my friends speak to their partners multiple times throughout the every, at work etc, however mine does not bother with me much and i’m always sat at work, or spending time with my friends or whatever, they’re all on their phones or at least have a phone call and i just feel so out of place
Reply 5
Avatar for Ciel.
Ciel.
21
Original post by Anonymous
Is this emotional abuse? Because I have been so used to it throughout the whole relationship I thought it was normal, however, my friends have told me that space when arguments occur is normal, but to ignore your partner for weeks is a sign of emotional abuse and unhealthy

PS this is my only long term relationship

it's not abuse but it's annoying af when boyfriends do that, lol
To me, that sounds emotionally abusive and controlling - like he’s trying to train you to not disagree with him. I would say you deserve better. Is it your partner’s first relationship?

I chat to my boyfriend on and off all the time when we are apart. I mean, not continuously, if we’re studying or whatever, and sometimes we don’t immediately reply if we’re busy, but we have an ongoing thing and we always say good morning and goodnight. We want to talk to each other. We kinda like each other….
(edited 2 years ago)
Im sorry but this is hilarious, how you ignoring your partner for weeks. What a guy.
Definitely not healthy/normal. I've been in a similar situation myself and it took me months to finally let go even though I knew it wasn't normal to be ignored for days or weeks at a time. But it was 100% worth getting out and not feeling awful all the time. I hope you find someone who's willing and able to give you the time you deserve.
Original post by Ciel.
it's not abuse but it's annoying af when boyfriends do that, lol

This is definitely emotional abuse..
Reply 10
Avatar for Ciel.
Ciel.
21
Original post by Anonymous
This is definitely emotional abuse..

whatever
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you guys, may I also ask, is it normal to not speak to your partner everyday or throughout the day when things are on good terms? my friends speak to their partners multiple times throughout the every, at work etc, however mine does not bother with me much and i’m always sat at work, or spending time with my friends or whatever, they’re all on their phones or at least have a phone call and i just feel so out of place

It’s normal to speak to your boyfriend every day. Doesn’t have to be 24/7 but one call or a couple of messages. To not here from them regularly could indicate they aren’t very invested in the relationship. Reallt sounds like you deserve better!
Original post by Ciel.
whatever

I’m a psychologist it’s definitely emotional abuse, I hope your partner doesn’t do that to you. It’s not okay. It’s controlling behaviour.
Reply 13
Avatar for Bio 7
Bio 7
21
Original post by Anonymous
I’m a psychologist it’s definitely emotional abuse, I hope your partner doesn’t do that to you. It’s not okay. It’s controlling behaviour.


I feel calling this abuse cheapens the term. This isn't good but to call it abuse is to grossly overstate it.
Yes. Silent treatment never solves anything, only delays potential issues.
Very childish behaviour on his part. It's not ok
Original post by Anonymous
Is this emotional abuse? Because I have been so used to it throughout the whole relationship I thought it was normal, however, my friends have told me that space when arguments occur is normal, but to ignore your partner for weeks is a sign of emotional abuse and unhealthy

PS this is my only long term relationship


Yes, this is emotion abuse. He clearly doesn't know how to communicate affectively, so instead he choses to act like a child. If he is trying to make you feel guilty then this is a huge red-flag and you need to step back from the relationship.

Think to yourself "is this normal"? Should a relationship consist of one person completely ignore the other for weeks on end? How can you have a relationship with someone if they won't speak to you. In my opinion, this is neglectful and not a loving relationship. Would he be there for you if you needed him?
It may be your first relationship, but surely not the first you have ever witnessed. I mean, do you see your parents ignoring each other for weeks on end? Come on…
Ditch the moron.
Original post by Bio 7
I feel calling this abuse cheapens the term. This isn't good but to call it abuse is to grossly overstate it.

Manipulating someone through behaviour in order to gain in any situation is a serious act. In my opinion, it certainly is emotional abuse
Immature too

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