The Student Room Group

Bengali guys and girls—Would your parents accept a white or a black boyfriend/gf?

Imagine this scenario:

You bring home a bf/gf who is white (or black). This guy or girl is willing to convert to Islam (or was already born Muslim). Would your parents accept it or would they only accept other Bengali Muslims (and to a lesser extent, other Asians)?

Asking for a friend.

Any answer is appreciated but I'd most like answers from Bengali people and people who have Bengali friends who are dating/getting/have gotten married to non-Bengali people.
Original post by TheRoach
Imagine this scenario:

You bring home a bf/gf who is white (or black). This guy or girl is willing to convert to Islam (or was already born Muslim). Would your parents accept it or would they only accept other Bengali Muslims (and to a lesser extent, other Asians)?

Asking for a friend.

Any answer is appreciated but I'd most like answers from Bengali people and people who have Bengali friends who are dating/getting/have gotten married to non-Bengali people.

When you mean dating do you mean in a halal or haram fashion? It depends on how you met that person imo (and just my opinion). If I met them in a haram way my parents would first thing reject them
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
When you mean dating do you mean in a halal or haram fashion? It depends on how you met that person imo (and just my opinion). If I met them in a haram way my parents would first thing reject them

Hmm...

Let's just say that it's a guy you bring home to your parents because you definitely want to marry him. Would they accept him regardless of culture—provided he's Muslim—or would they disapprove of him anyway because he's not Bengali?
Original post by TheRoach
Hmm...

Let's just say that it's a guy you bring home to your parents because you definitely want to marry him. Would they accept him regardless of culture—provided he's Muslim—or would they disapprove of him anyway because he's not Bengali?

nah my parents may be reluctant at first but provided and sit them down and talk to them about it (like how I met them, why I want to marry them etc) and provided I throw in some islamic stuff about marriage then yh they maybe fine with it (I will also try to convice my friends and family and then they may help to convince my parents if me telling them first doesn't work out). This may not apply to you entirely as Bengali parents attitudes to marriage differ from family to family.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
nah my parents may be reluctant at first but provided and sit them down and talk to them about it (like how I met them, why I want to marry them etc) and provided I throw in some islamic stuff about marriage then yh they maybe fine with it (I will also try to convice my friends and family and then they may help to convince my parents if me telling them first doesn't work out). This may not apply to you entirely as Bengali parents attitudes to marriage differ from family to family.

Understandable.
Original post by TheRoach
Imagine this scenario:

You bring home a bf/gf who is white (or black). This guy or girl is willing to convert to Islam (or was already born Muslim). Would your parents accept it or would they only accept other Bengali Muslims (and to a lesser extent, other Asians)?

Asking for a friend.

Any answer is appreciated but I'd most like answers from Bengali people and people who have Bengali friends who are dating/getting/have gotten married to non-Bengali people.

I'm a bengali girl dating to marry a white guy, who isn't willing to convert to islam (which is even worse for them). They'll in no way accept it, but they won't disown me

Even if he was muslim, or willing to convert to islam, they wouldn't accept him. They want to preserve the culture and would say I'd go to hell for marrying someone white, since I'm not listening to my parents (bs talk).
Original post by TheRoach
Imagine this scenario:

You bring home a bf/gf who is white (or black). This guy or girl is willing to convert to Islam (or was already born Muslim). Would your parents accept it or would they only accept other Bengali Muslims (and to a lesser extent, other Asians)?

Asking for a friend.

Any answer is appreciated but I'd most like answers from Bengali people and people who have Bengali friends who are dating/getting/have gotten married to non-Bengali people.

Keep in mind however, my parents hate love marriages and would manipulate my siblings into 'arranged' marriages using religion. Less culture-minded parents may not be like that
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a bengali girl dating to marry a white guy, who isn't willing to convert to islam (which is even worse for them). They'll in no way accept it, but they won't disown me

Even if he was muslim, or willing to convert to islam, they wouldn't accept him. They want to preserve the culture and would say I'd go to hell for marrying someone white, since I'm not listening to my parents (bs talk).

It's not just even worse for them but for you too if you want to be a good Muslim and follow the rules lol
Original post by Satori Tendō
It's not just even worse for them but for you too if you want to be a good Muslim and follow the rules lol

I guess, though I'm not very religious.
Nevertheless, he's fine with our children being muslim. So at least there's that.
You can't help who you fall for. The universe has chosen a certain someone for each and every one of us. If you like each other, the parents will come around eventually imo.

I know more than a dozen of Bengali guys/girls marrying non Bengalis. One Bengali girl was pregnant with her chinese bf's kid and when the parents found out they got them married at the earliest opportunity- guy did not have to convert. Another Bengali girl celebrated her 1 year marriage anniversary to her White bf recently- again no conversion. The Bengali guys have it even easier imo. I feel the Bengali parents always come around but there might be a few disappointed faces at first.

Ask yourself this: will the parents opinions matter in 5, 10 or 15 years time? It's your life- you are the one who will miss out on a special someone by worrying about all this hypothetical situations. Do what you feel is right.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a bengali girl dating to marry a white guy, who isn't willing to convert to islam (which is even worse for them). They'll in no way accept it, but they won't disown me

Even if he was muslim, or willing to convert to islam, they wouldn't accept him. They want to preserve the culture and would say I'd go to hell for marrying someone white, since I'm not listening to my parents (bs talk).

PRSOM.
I think in London it’s more prevalent of Bengalis getting married with non Bengalis, but even then it’s a small minority. Outside of London it is majority taboo, there’s the odd few that do but that’s the same with every ethnicity.

In my personal opinion, my parents would never accept it. But I don’t mind as I would prefer to have someone from my own culture as they understand more than someone who was white.

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