I realise I make myself enter situations that cause unnecesary, deep guilt, or intense fear, or something just rather unpleasant. If I do it for the rush of adrenaline, then why does it always feel bad? Why have I come to behave this way? I always follow the rules, for example in school, but give me a device and I'm far away into the dark side of the web at night. I try to quit it like a drug, then I feel empty without it. Like I'm missing meaning, a sense of purpose, or "moreness" out of life.
Could anyone help me understand why I possibly feel this way, what I can do to be satisfied with my life without repeatedly entering myself into potentially dangerous or harmful situations?