Girls, please explain

This is a question aimed specifically at girls.

I know this doesn’t apply to all girls, but can any of them with any experience please explain something?

I like to think I’m a nice guy. My friends say I’m really nice and sweet and considerate and helpful and all that nice stuff. Yet of everyone I know, I’m by far the least successful in relationships. Girls don’t ask me out, most never really want to hang out or do anything with me regularly

For example, there’s a girl I have a major crush on. We have deep conversations, spend time together. I found out on a few days out that she doesn’t have a phone charger to take out and about. So I keep a charger which doesn’t work on my phone in my bag in case she needs it. She told me one night she loved to eat biscuits in the evening watching TV. So next time we met up I bought two packets of those biscuits for her. Just general stuff that I’d consider like basic niceties, with a little bit of consideration and thought.

And yet, I always find myself passed up for guys who, by the girls’ own admissions, are not nice guys. People who don’t want to spend time with them, want them purely for sex, so drugs or anything, and yet they’re always really popular and get all of the nice girls, despite giving nothing even slightly considerate or gentlemanly.

So for any girls who pass up nice(ish) guys for *******s, please explain? How can I change myself so I’m at least ever so slightly interesting to someone as more than just a great friend? I’m getting lonely out here…

This sounds suspiciously like the banned user from yesterday...

Have you asked her out?

This is a question aimed specifically at girls.

I know this doesn’t apply to all girls, but can any of them with any experience please explain something?

I like to think I’m a nice guy. My friends say I’m really nice and sweet and considerate and helpful and all that nice stuff. Yet of everyone I know, I’m by far the least successful in relationships. Girls don’t ask me out, most never really want to hang out or do anything with me regularly

For example, there’s a girl I have a major crush on. We have deep conversations, spend time together. I found out on a few days out that she doesn’t have a phone charger to take out and about. So I keep a charger which doesn’t work on my phone in my bag in case she needs it. She told me one night she loved to eat biscuits in the evening watching TV. So next time we met up I bought two packets of those biscuits for her. Just general stuff that I’d consider like basic niceties, with a little bit of consideration and thought.

And yet, I always find myself passed up for guys who, by the girls’ own admissions, are not nice guys. People who don’t want to spend time with them, want them purely for sex, so drugs or anything, and yet they’re always really popular and get all of the nice girls, despite giving nothing even slightly considerate or gentlemanly.

So for any girls who pass up nice(ish) guys for *******s, please explain? How can I change myself so I’m at least ever so slightly interesting to someone as more than just a great friend? I’m getting lonely out here…

Yep — once a while back (to be fair we’d only chatted a few times so I understand why she said no then), but then the other day (we’d chatted about going stargazing before), I built myself up and asked if maybe we should get dinner together sometime and then go watch the Stars together. She ignored the entire part about dinner and said she wasn’t sure where would be a good place to watch stars near where we live

I doubt this is the incel guy if that's who you're talking about.

Also just to clarify, I don’t just mean this one particular situation, I have tried asking her out and dropping hints before. I just mean generally why is it that girls tend to favour guys who aren’t nice / do nice stuff over guys who do and are loyal etc?

Indeed it is, what makes you think that though?

Indeed it is, what makes you think that though?

Is this the only girl you've tried asking out?

Guys who say they're nice are never actually as nice as they think they are, btw.